Valentine's Day? Please, don't remind me.

birdie

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Jul 9, 2005
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The woman sat upon the heater next to the window, facing the opposite wall. There was a more than depressed look on her face, and her dark blue eyes were filled with remorse. She had done so many things wrong, and so many things had just gone wrong that weren't her fault. Even so, she blamed herself for pretty much everything, and never failed to find a reason to lay the blame upon herself.

First, it had been Sonlath. Their parents had abandoned him and she had been so foolish as to believe their story that he died. She should have seen through their deceit and saved her brother... if she had, well, she could only imagine how less troubled he would be. He never would have had to go to that wretched school and go through all those inhumane tests... he wouldn't be drinking, or smoking... and, best of all, he might not be a werewolf right now. Maybe, if she had just been a brave and stubborn little girl, she would have found him, things would be different...

Second, it had been her husband and her child. It had been her fault that that had happened as well. She had been the one who had thought it was just a cold when her child was sick, and hadn't really worried much. And, when she and her husband finally took their little boy to the doctor, it was too late. It hadn't been much later until the boy died, and her husband got sick soon after. She had been more scared because of the recent death of her child, but no, her husband had to be an idiot and refuse to go to the doctor. If she had just taken her child to the doctor sooner, the two of the might still be alive right now. She wouldn't be a vampire, and they would all be leading perfectly happy lives.

But then again... have I EVER been perfectly happy? the twenty-year-old thought to herself. For a while, perhaps, but it never lasts. It would sure be nice if it could, but I suppose such things just weren't meant for me.

Third, Jira. Cordelia never should have made him. He was so young, and too powerful as it was. He never even listened to her. She shouldn't have gone to the moors that day; if she hadn't, he may have been living a better life. Sure, he may have been depressed that one day, but maybe someone else could have made him feel better. He could have grown up, and had a happy life... and she had snatched that away from him. She was no better than the werewolf that had turned her little brother into one as well. And, to top it all off, she was sure her fledgling was going to betray her one of these days. It was just a hunch, but it was a strong one, and if he did betray her... well, more to blame to put upon herself.

Fourth, all those innocent men she had just murdered when she was angry. They all probably had families, loved ones... and they were all probably going through the same thing she was right now. She had never wanted to put anyone else through that sort of pain, that sort of absolute sorrow... she was just as heartless as Rayana was. She was no better than those whom she despised, no better at all!

Cordelia sighed. There were tears in her eyes... actual tears. They weren't human tears, though. They were red, almost like blood, but clear like water. It was the blood tears that her maker had passed onto her. She noticed a nearby calendar, and upon seeing the date, she just broke out into sobs. It was February fourth already. The fourteenth was Valentine's Day... she should have been at home with her family, but no, they were dead, and it was all because of her.

Nothing good had been happening lately, nothing good at all. Sure, she had found out her brother was alive, but that only made things worse for her in a way. Seeing him turn out like this just absolutely broke her heart, and even though she had been seven when he supposedly died, she still could have tried to save him. But no, she just had to believe what her cruel, heartless parents said.

"Why is everything just so horrible..." she asked herself quietly, her sobs becoming stronger. It was the first time she had actually cried since the death of her husband. The tiny red droplets poured from her eyes as if they were never going to stop, and she leaned over, resting her head in her hands. The woman's shoulders shook, almost violently, as she cried, her long, black hair draping around herself.

Well, at least Cordelia was here alone, where no one would ever find her. She was in an empty room on the third floor, where people rarely went, and she doubted anyone would just happen to walk into the room she was in. No one would ever hear of her breaking down and actually crying like a human being, but she wasn't sure yet as to whether that was good or not.
 
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The young vampire was correct, no one would walk into the room...however...that doesn't mean someone wasn't already inside of it...in the shadows sat Tsim just listening to the few short things she said and to think he was grieving over his own parents as she lost everything...it was unfair and he thought he shouldn't be said a year meant nothing to someone who was hurting that long he merely looked at the wall not wanting to see her anymore...

He was hardly visible even in white clothing as it was drenched by shadows though a small glimmer could be seen from his dagger he had no need to hide it so what if she saw him...he couldn't talk and she even knew him that one day...its not like he would devulge any of her secrets away he noticed the red tears and did and said nothing it wasn't his place to try to cheer anyone up how would he understand her pain after all he was different...
 

birdie

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Jul 9, 2005
5,558
The woman continued crying, still having not noticed the boy sitting there. Her blood tears were beginning to stain her clothing, her hands, and some were even just staining the ground. But, really, how could Cordelia care about something so minor and literally unimportant? It was just a stain. Life would go on, no matter how horrible it was. There was no point in over reacting, like Rayana had, seeing as how simple things such as clothing didn't matter to her. The twenty-year-old owned barely anything that could be considered dressy or fancy, and the few things as such that she did own were gathering dust in the back of her closet. There was no point wearing them, really...

However, in a moment, a slight glimmer caught her eye and she blinked, looking up. Her cheeks were stained red as well, just like pretty much everything else around her. I'm pathetic, she thought to herself. Crying over things that will never be changed. Such a waste of energy. These tears won't turn back time, and they won't save those that I've lost. What's the point in doing something that has no meaning... She sighed after thinking this, and wiped her bloody palms on her pants, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. It was no use, though, her attempts to calm herself failed. The woman continued to cry, but she didn't make an effort to hide it anymore. She just wanted to find what had been shining before.

Cordelia could sense someone else was in the room, and it wasn't long before she saw him. She almost smiled. If it hadn't been for that kid, she probably would have killed more innocent people than she had wanted to. Well, she supposed she had a reason to be nice to him, then... for the time being, at least. "Hi, kid," she greeted, her voice cracking from the tears, but actually sounding friendly for once. There was no hint of coldness, annoyance, anger, or anything mean... just absolute kindness.
 
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Tsim merely blinked stepping out of the shadow but only partly, half of his body remained his mouth guard and his hood was up so it was impossible to see his hair except for a few strands of his white hair his eyes looked at her as he nodded his hands at his sides just waving slightly.

He didn't say anything but was slightly confused why she was being nicer then she was earlier...I mean she nearly killed an innocent person after all...but it couldn't exactly be helped...
 

birdie

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Jul 9, 2005
5,558
Cordelia smiled at the kid. He had manners, which was a good thing, and hadn't bothered to continue hiding once she had spotted him. She pushed herself off of the heater, and looked at the tears on the ground. Oh, well, someone else could clean that up. Not like that would happen, though, seeing as how she doubted any teachers or janitors came up here.

The woman wiped her eyes again, though her tears only slowed down a little bit, not completely stopping. She walked toward Tsim, her footsteps much more quiet than they usually were; she just wasn't in the mood to walk loudly. Once the twenty-year-old reached him, she plopped down on the floor about a foot to the left of him, hoping he wouldn't mind that she was sitting next to him.

For a few moments, she just looked at him, wondering why he had that mouth guard on. She couldn't think of any purpose it could serve at the current moment, but, she would ask in a little while. "So, how have you been, kid?" she asked him with a very, very small smile.
 
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Tsim merely blinked when she sat next to him he didn't care honestly she was sad and probably just wanted company quite obvious from all the tears that the young vampire shed...he wondered if their was a cure to a vampire's non aging he was sure there was and might actually start looking for one...

He didn't know how to respond to her...he only looked up at her the mouth guard still on he wore such a thing to show he was taking up an endless punishment upon himself of silence
 

birdie

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Jul 9, 2005
5,558
Well, it didn't seem that he minded the fact that she was sitting next to him, so she didn't bother moving away or anything. Cordelia knew he wouldn't answer her; she was smart enough to realize that after their first meeting. She wasn't sure if it was only her he never spoke to, but she had a feeling he didn't speak to anyone. Because, really, what was the point of being completely silent around one person? Plus, he never really ignored her, so she was fine with his silence.

He hadn't answered her question, though, and that made her wonder if something was wrong. Then again, maybe he just wasn't sure how to respond. Either way, she was going to repeat her question. "Kid? Have you been good lately? Just nod or shake your head, I won't make you talk if you don't want to," she said.

It was odd that she was being so kind... but in her current state, it was hard for her to be mean to people, especially a little kid like Tsim.
 
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He nodded lying but not wanting her to worry for him or anything since he only thought of him as a burden on everyone because they thought he had to be taken care of so they did so...he looked away drifting into thought about it a few moments later
 

birdie

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Inactive
Jul 9, 2005
5,558
Cordelia bit the inside of her lip and narrowed her eyes at him, though not in anger or annoyance. She was thinking, and trying to decide if he was telling her the truth or not. She wasn't an old enough vampire to see through lies yet; some she could, if they were obvious, but others, she couldn't. This sort of situation wasn't obvious, seeing as how he never talked; she couldn't analyze the tone of his voice or the like.

"You sure?" she finally asked after a few moments of silence. She really couldn't tell if he was being truthful or not, so she figured she would just ask. It was slightly embarrassing that she couldn't tell on her own, but, she knew that one day she would.
 
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He nodded slowly again not wanting her to worry for him or try to make him feel better since he only wanted to be alone really so no one would have to take care of him and he wouldn't be apart of a fake family or see other families...
 
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