Private Finished Time to Spill Some Beans

PixelatedGlory

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@WuffyWuff

Quie had spent a good portion of her day in the community center enjoying some time talking to some of her family members, many other people and of course Silver. Aside from a few important emails and calls she had to field it was a bit of a relaxing day except for one thing. Her cousin, Liun, had been acting strangely. Sure for most of the time there he was his usual happy go lucky self slinging puns and teasing her and Silver but at a certain point he seemed to start losing himself in thought and there was definitely something bothering him. He tried to hide it and play it off as nothing but her gut told her that there was definitely something wrong. She had learned to trust her gut feelings a long time ago. Especially when it came to family members possibly being hurt or in trouble. Quie had just got her cousin back and though she still hadn't completely forgiven him for abandoning the family and making them think he was dead, he was still family and she needed to help him if she could.

After Liun slipped out of the community center Quie remained there for a while longer. The conversation with the other people, especially seeing the cute interactions between the kids was great, and so was the little ice flower that Silver had put in her hair at one point, but her mind kept going back to Liun. Then as if to reinforce her thoughts Amara had come in and started asking about how Liun was doing and whether he had won against Roldan. Quie politely answered without actually revealing anything and as soon as possible she excused herself to go text Liun to check on him.

It was just a simple text asking if everything was ok. She halfway figured he would reply that everything was fine, or even more likely he would make some joke and blow her concerns off. When he had replied with a simple "no" her heart sank. Any other plans she might have had were immediately dropped in favor of hunting down where Liun had wandered off to. Quie wasn't entirely sure where he was but she assumed he was probably somewhere between the community center and his apartment. Likely somewhere he was more or less comfortable with so that narrowed it down to closer to his apartment or where he worked.

It took a long time to comb through the city and the summer heat was oppressive as it felt like Quie was baking but she didn't care. She stopped a few times to use her weak cooling breath on herself and continued on searching for Liun. If she could have justified it as an actual emergency then she might have been able to get help tracking his phone but this didn't quite qualify. Technically all she had was Liun acting moody. Eventually though she did manage to spot Liun sitting alone in one of the coffee shops. He looked a lot like he had back in the community center when he had sort of spaced out as he was lost in his thoughts.

Quie took a moment to cool down and make it a little less obvious that she had been rushing around to find her cousin before opening the door and heading inside. As she approached Liun she tried to make her voice sound comforting and unworried. "Oh, Liun. What a nice coincidence running into you here. Mind I join you for a little bit?" Even though it was technically a question she was already sitting down across from him without waiting for an answer. Quie was determined to find out what was going on and if there was something that she needed to deal with.
 

Wuffy

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Feb 16, 2018
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Liun originally planned to return to his apartment, but found himself wandering. He couldn't feel like he could sit still, especially while he muddled through his thoughts. The conversations in the community centre reminded him of Antarctica. It didn't help that they also talked about relationships, and some old wounds got opened.

By the time he received a text message from Quie, he felt tired. Tired of keeping some truth from his family. The real reason he never returned home... He had only spoken about the events that happened years ago with probably only two or three people at most. He felt so tired of hiding it by now, and he really wanted to try and have a shoulder to depend on. So when Quie texted him to ask if he was okay, he smiled a little as he replied a simple answer. 'No'.

He found a quiet, relatively empty coffee shop, and he waited. He knew that Quie would seek him out, and that was exactly why he responded the way he had. He ordered himself some coffee and pondered his thoughts yet again. He began to figure out how he would speak about this, since most times he thought about it in depth, he hasn't exactly dealt with it the best way.

When she came in, he smiled but couldn't put his entire heart into it. He knew that there was no point in responding to her as she sat down. He chuckled weakly. "Yeah, coincidence. I knew it was only a matter of time before you tracked me down, Quie." He smiled, as easygoing as he could muster. He then sighed, his face taking a more serious look. "Quie, we need to talk about Antarctica. Specifically... a little bit after."
 

PixelatedGlory

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Quie didn't even keep up the pretense of having come there for coffee. She wasn't interested in getting up to order and even if she had been she wasn't as familiar with this particular shop. Without knowing how much copper was in their pipes and equipment she wasn't going to risk it.

She smirked at Liun, though her concern was probably still a little visible on her face. She wasn't terribly surprised that Liun had known she would come looking for him. She wasn't exactly a very unpredictable person. In fact the only thing she had done lately that might have surprised any of her family was how close she had been getting to Silver. But this was neither the time nor place to think about that. Her focus was entirely here on Liun barring some sort of absolute life and death emergency.

It was pretty clear Liun was seriously bothered despite his attempts to it cover up. Perhaps it was something that would have been better discussed in private but Quie had made sure there were no people close enough to listen in and no one had been especially interested in the two of them. It was a habit of hers that she had been honing for years. How to have a private conversation in a public place. Of course so many people had extra sensitive hearing here so anything sensitive about their clan's activities would have to be avoided. She didn't think it was wise suggesting Liun move to another place anyway. She didn't want to risk him finding an excuse to avoid having this talk. "Of course I tracked you down. I was very worried to get that text. Next time just let me know you want to talk and where to find you so I don't have to run all around the city in this heat." She was being stern because it was the only way she knew to hide how scared she had been that something terrible was happening.

She frowned deeply when he mentioned Antarctica because of how many painful memories it brought up. Liun hadn't been the only one lost down there and though she had mostly made peace with it there were still times that it stung to remember them all. That wasn't even including the pain of knowing Liun hadn't actually died and had left the family to grieve for him. Instead of letting her pain and anger show she sucked it up and let her tone be that of a caring family member who really did want to hear him out and help if she could. "Liun I promise not to hit you. Just tell me what is bothering you so much. I don't know what you went through after Antarctica but i'm sure if it was easy you wouldn't be having trouble telling me about it now."

Quie sat back and gave him time to figure out how he wanted to bring up what was on his mind. If patience was required well then she would gladly sit there all night.
 

Wuffy

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Liun smiled as he looked down in front of him. “I’m glad you won’t hit me. But sometimes, I really wish someone did. It was my fault.” He chuckled, but sounded empty. He didn’t have much of energy to be humorous now.

He looked at Quie with genuinely tired eyes. “I tried to get back, you know. I got to the coast but I had no way off, and I did try to get back. I was lucky that I was able to get onto a nearby ship.” He spoke relatively fast, not wanting to dwell on the topic for long. “I met my best friend because of that. He was nice enough to let me accompany him during travels. Not long after we started, I met a human woman...” He looked down again. His throat aches and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he would start crying.

“I loved her, Quie. So much, with my entire heart. She joined us and she could even beat me while sparring. That was when I realised how much I appreciated our human forms. Despite our strength and pride, I could still be beaten by a human woman who had no idea what I was.” He had a small smile on his face as spoke about some clearly fond memories. “I told her what I was. But she wasn’t scared or anything. She accepted me.”

He leaned back in the chair he sat, staring at the ceiling. “We got engaged, and had a daughter.” His voice turned more quiet as he spoke. “She was so small... I couldn’t believe that I made something so small and innocent. She just became my entire world.” His voice cracked slightly. “One night, we had a gas leak and none of us knew. I actually smoked back then... so as soon as I went to have a smoke, everything just...” He closed his eyes to try and stop himself crying.

He breathed in. He could almost taste the smoke filling his lungs. “My fiancé and daughter died. It was my fault the fire started... and the only reason I survived was because of my regenerative factor and armour. They both died because of me... I didn’t deserve to survive.” His voice cracked again and he desperately tried to stop himself, but he started to cry. “I couldn’t go back, I couldn’t protect my family. How could I be certain I wouldn’t bring harm to the family that remained?” He leaned forward again and held his head in his hands. His shoulders shook.
 

PixelatedGlory

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Quie could tell he was trying to make it sound like he was joking but he clearly didn't have it in him. Just another big red flag smacking her in the face and telling her to be compassionate rather than angry with him. "I already hit you once in public for your actions. That should be enough for now." Plus Fweiu would absolutely explode if she heard Quie was causing more of a scene by beating on her family members in a public setting. A warning from the police from the first time was enough of an embarrassment.

She wasn't entirely sure where the story was going. Was he just going to try to justify why he hadn't come back with the reason that he got a little lost? If that was the truth then it was weak at best. They would have found him if he had just stayed put and survived for a bit. Of course she couldn't actually say that because then Liun would probably just clam up and stop talking. "Listen, I believe you if you say you couldn't make it back. For all the grief we give you it is still better to have you alive, here and now, than to have you dead back in the frozen wastes." The second part wasn't even a lie. She was glad he was alive even if she couldn't fully believe he didn't have some option for returning to the colony.

The part about the best friend didn't really impact her too much but the mention of the human woman on the other hand did. It wasn't that she was a horrible racist or going to tell him off for deciding to date a non-dragon, though she did have a bit of a history not being very accepting of marriage with non-dragons. It was something she was honestly working to change but traditions were still pretty important to her. Actually the main thought going through her head was worry at having their kind's existence be exposed to regular humans. Quie however did smile at imagining Liun getting beat up in sparring matches.

She was about to respond but stopped herself. This was more about letting him speak his mind than her grilling him with questions. Instead she politely listened and was even warmly smiling as he described how much he loved the woman and their child. In fact the child part made her so happy inside because she always had been fond of children. Even those that weren't family here on this island tended to draw her attention. "Aww I'm sure you were a wonderful father to that sweet little-" The smile dropped right off her face when Liun's voice cracked and he began explaining what had happened to his poor little family.

"Oh Liun, I'm so sorry." Every ounce of anger or annoyance she might have had stored away for Liun and his activities after leaving Antarctica was thrown out in favor of just being compassionate. She felt like going over to hug her cousin but because they were sitting at a table that would have been a little difficult to manage. Instead as Liun leaned forward to put his head in his hands Quie leaned over the table and rested her own hand on one of his shoulders. "What happened with the gas leak was not your fault. It could have been anything that sparked the fire. If you weren't smoking it could have been someone simply flicking a light switch on or plugging something in. I'm sure you did everything you could to get them out."

This was pretty much classic survivor's guilt that Liun was expressing. Quie should know- she had her own difficulties with the same sort of feelings after leaving Antarctica. It had taken a long time to recover, especially because she had been trying to hide it from everyone else. Very calmly and softly she continued, "I can't begin to imagine your pain at losing them but I know they wouldn't want you to blame yourself... or for that matter beat yourself up about it. You're back with us now and you are family. Whatever you need, I'll personally see to it if I can."

Quie's hand remained on Liun's shoulder. A reassuring sign to him that she was still there.
 

Wuffy

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He breathed in shakily as he looked at Quie. “No... it was my fault... the cause was investigated. My fiancé was putting our daughter to bed while I went to go smoke. I even saw everything set alight right around me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

He didn’t really care that he started crying in front of Quie now. He just let it happen. “I just activated my armour out of instinct and didn’t do anything. They both died because of this. Because of me.” He clenched his hands into fists. “She lived for only a week afterwards. My fiancé. She... told me to not blame myself. But how couldn’t I? She was in so much pain, and we just lost our daughter. I caused this pain.” His jaw clenched as he felt sorrow, and anger towards himself.

He breathed out and his shoulders slumped as he leaned forward again. “I did this, Quie...” He sounded defeated, tired. A shell of his usual humour. “How could I guarantee myself that... I wouldn’t bring that kind of pain to the clan? To the community?” He rubbed his eyes, attempting to wipe away his tears, but it doesn’t really work.
 

PixelatedGlory

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She hadn't actually meant that it wasn't the smoking that ignited the fire. She had just been trying to tell him that it would have been something else instead if he wasn't smoking. A gas leak was dangerous because any little spark could set it off. It was pointless to try to clarify that though. there was nothing she could say that would make Liun not blame himself. Quie probably would have felt the exact same way if she were in his shoes.

"Liun, it sounds like you just panicked. That happens to a lot of people and you probably didn't have enough time to do anything even if you hadn't panicked. You said it yourself- you're only alive because your instinct protected you. The worst part of something like this is that there is nothing you could have done to protect the ones you care about. You can try to second-guess everything and let yourself unravel into madness or you can learn from it." Quie was quite certain she would not have survived the fire unless she had enough time to change into her dragon form and even then fire was very strong against them and it would have brought down the whole building probably. The thought of being caught in a blaze like that absolutely terrified her.

While listening to Liun Quie had kept an eye on the people around them. When a few of them started to look a little too interested in what they were saying she turned and gave them a glare that would have sent chills down the spines of most people. They stopped staring as much. "Liun your fiancé was right. Even through all her own pain she was trying to help you recover. She knew you would blame yourself even though it really wasn't your fault. If everyone keeps telling you the same thing maybe they have a point, right?"

Screw it, there was no reason to keep trying to lean across the table to comfort her poor cousin. Quie picked her hand up off of Liun's shoulder and walked around to sit next to him instead. "Liun I understand you being worried about bringing pain to the community but you have to remember that's part of the reason to be in a community like ours. So you aren't alone with your problems. You have us here now." Quie tried to put an arm around Liun if he would let her. She wanted to show him both by actions and words that he wasn't alone- his family would be there to help him through this.

She did however sharpen her tone back to being a little more stern for just a moment. "It isn't your decision whether you get to bring us pain anyway. We love you regardless and I think I can safely speak for everyone in saying we don't care, we'll deal with it. We're tough dragons remember?"
 

Wuffy

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Liun remained silent for a while. “I should’ve noticed it. I should’ve been able to smell it, at least, but I didn’t.” He sounded bitter as he spoke, his hands clenched as he stared down in front of him. It wasn’t even that he couldn’t, because he knew he could. It was just at the time, he wrote it off as something else. He should’ve been worried enough to bring it up, maybe go stay somewhere else while he reported it to someone. But instead he just thought it was fine, and he paid for it.

He wasn’t going to respond to Quie’s next comment, because simply saying he wasn’t to blame wouldn’t eradicate all the guilt he harboured. But then Quie moved around to his side. He didn’t pull away or resist as Quie placed her arm around him. He just tried to stifle the sobbing he was almost at the verge of.

He rubbed his eyes, able to calm a little. He looked at Quie as she spoke again, a mixture of happiness and shock were clear in his eyes. He almost couldn’t believe that his family would still be there for him. Frankly, he greatly appreciated it. He chuckled, genuinely, as Quie’s tone turned sharp. He smiled, still tired but with far less burden. “Thanks, Quie... I just needed to get it off my chest.” He hugged her before she’d be able to get a word in. He didn’t remain long, and pulled away shortly after. “You can tell the others, if you want. I honestly don’t know if I have the energy to repeat the story in such a short amount of time.” He looked down at his hands again.
 

PixelatedGlory

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The horrible thing going through Quie's mind was that she did sort of agree that there should have been a sign of the trouble before the gas leak got bad enough that lighting a cigarette set it off. Didn't pretty much everyone add chemicals to their gas to make it have an odor? It was possible that for some reason Liun's place didn't have that but it was pretty unlikely. If it did have the odor then as a dragon he should have had an easy time detecting it. Not something to tell him though.

Quie could tell he was doing the best he could to keep from sobbing. She didn't blame him. She hadn't had a mate or children and then lost them. The pain was probably far more than she could imagine and she could imagine a lot when it came to losing family. When he calmed down a little bit though she was very relieved. The smile was a bit unexpected but then Liun was pretty prone to joking around even when things were serious.

"Y-," she was cut off by the hug before she could tell him he had no need to thank her. Quie hugged him back and was very careful to wait for him to release the hug first. That was how you made sure to comfort someone- let them show you the level of closeness they were comfortable with. Quie wasn't super well trained in this but she had learned from experience and she might have picked up a few tips here and there while working with other people. It was all part of her own drive to put out fires. Perhaps not as literally than Liun's job entailed but still just as important.

Once Liun pulled back out of the hug Quie waited a moment to make sure he was done talking. "Liun i'm glad you decided to talk to me about this. I know i'm usually the bristly one that tends to get angry at people but i'm pretty good at listening too." Quie sighed now that most of the difficult emotion stuff wasn't at the forefront as much. She even felt a little hungry now that she wasn't in full emergency response mode. She hadn't exactly had time for dinner yet, but this situation was far more important than a little food.

After a little bit longer Quie slowly removed her arm from around Liun. She would put it back if it seemed like he needed it but she wanted to give him the option of making this look a little less like an emotional breakdown in public. "I can tell the others if you want me to but it might be better for me just to give them an idea so they know what's going on and let you tell them as much as you are comfortable with over time." A thought popped into her head. This cafe probably had some sandwiches or something along with the coffee. She could probably break two icicles with one punch here and get some food for both of them. "Liun, I'm pretty hungry. Would you like me to order some food for both of us?" It wasn't untrue- she was hungry. She was also veiling an attempt to help him relax a little bit. Food always helped bring the mood up a little bit after all.
 

Wuffy

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Feb 16, 2018
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Not many people knew of the events that happened, and the guilt Liun carried. A part of knew that she wouldn't want him to blame himself, and a part knew that he shouldn't. But he also felt it was his fault. He was in love, and even created life, but destroyed both. He looked away from Quie, a small smile on his face. Humour had always been how he coped. But he genuinely felt lighter having finally told another person. Someone from his family.

He genuinely calmed. He wouldn't cry again. He looked back up at Quie, managing a laugh. "I see I am an excuse to get some food then, eh?" He flashed a lighthearted grin at Quie. He clearly didn't mean it, but he wanted to poke some fun anyway. He laughed again. "Sure, but I'm paying for my own food." He pointed a thumb at himself. He sat up straight, and almost looked completely different to the emotional crisis he was just in. "I'm also gettin' another coffee. I've got stuff to do."

He went quiet again as he thought to himself. He looked at Quie again, a sincere look in his eyes. "Thanks, Quie. I needed to talk to a family member about this. It... took a lot off my chest." He looked down for a second. "I'd like them to know a little. Maybe I'll go more in the details when I have the energy. But... I don't want them to be in the dark." He looked back up. Yes, he felt tired and didn't want to explain the entire story ever again. But if he was asked questions, which he could answer briefly... that might just work for him.
 
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