<div align=center>Gabriel was gone. Torn from William without even letting him say goodbye. Emptiness was a strange feeling, there was a hole in Bill's chest where his heart had been. Ripped out and thrown to the floor. This is all my fault. That was the only thought in his head. Everything was his fault. Because you couldn't put your petty argument aside and apologize to him. The boy quivered, dropped his head to his knees and wept. Everything was ruined. Bill felt like his heart was going to explode, and if it does oh Lord let it kill me quickly. At least if he died here and then it'd be over for him as well. He'd rather be plummeted into nothingness than be dropped into a world where he felt so lonely and desperate that he wished he were dead too.
He was nothing but a scared little boy. Now that scared little boy's single source of comfort had been taken from him and he wanted it back. That was the catch though. He couldn't have it back. The thing that sickened him the most was the fact he knew that there was a cold, limp body in the next room over that belonged to the only person he'd ever loved. He couldn't even bring himself to go in there to look at it. What's the use in saying goodbye now? It's too late. I blew it. He hated himself. He hated everyone about himself. William was the worst human alive right now and everything was his fault. The thought that there was nothing left in the empty shell of Gabriel's earthly body. William wanted to reach out to him and find him. But he couldn't. There was nothing left to find. That was all he was, an empty husk. William had never felt more alone in his life. There had always been something comforting about feeling the presence of Gabriel's mind around him, feeling that constant stream of mellow happiness that always branched off of him. It was gone. He'd never feel it again.
William clung to the boy sitting next to him and could do nothing but cry pitifully on his shoulder. He felt pathetic. Crying didn't help anything. It wouldn't bring Gabe back and nor was it making him feel any better. But that was all he could do. William didn't know what else to do. He felt bad for August for dragging him here, the hospital wasn't a nice place to spend your evening, especially in a situation like this. There was a doctor standing in the doorway watching the two, William wondered if this happened often, briefly. He wondered how many deaths that man had seen, how many times weeping families had huddled on this couch to comfort each other and say their last goodbyes to their loved one. He didn't like to think about it.
"I loved him." He finally mumbled, his voice hoarse and raspy from crying. He'd screamed when they'd told him. He'd screamed so loud he thought his ear drums were going to burst. An uncontrollable fit of shaking had since overtaken the boy, he was white as a ghost and his cheeks stung from tears. "I loved him so much." That was all he'd wanted to say to Gabriel. Even if he couldn't bring him back again he just wanted to curl up next to him one more time and whisper those words in his ear. That wouldn't make things better, but it might help a little. The thought of the lifeless body in the next room only made him weep even harder. There was no noise anymore, all the energy felt like it had been drained out of him. I'm sorrys and I love yous wouldn't help anymore. Gabe was already dead. They'd told him how it had happened. Cardiac arrest. A single shock to the heart that would have stopped it. At least that's what they thought, it could have caused a full on heart attack. William didn't like to think about that. He must have been terrified. He must have known it was happening.
That was the worst thought, though. The worst thought was that he'd had to wait for death to take him, knowing it was coming the whole while. No one should go through that alone. That was exactly what had happened to him, though. William burst into a new flood of tears. There and then he decided that this was the absolute worst day of his life. There was no words in the whole of the English language that could have possibly described how he was feeling right now. He felt like none of this was real. Oh God please be a dream. Please be a bad, bad dream and let me wake up in my bed. That's all I need to do. Wake up, wake up, wake up. This wasn't a dream though, and no matter how tight William squeezed his eyes shut, when he opened them again he found he was still sat on the same couch, sat with the same boy and sat in the same building as the corpse of his dead boyfriend. </div>
He was nothing but a scared little boy. Now that scared little boy's single source of comfort had been taken from him and he wanted it back. That was the catch though. He couldn't have it back. The thing that sickened him the most was the fact he knew that there was a cold, limp body in the next room over that belonged to the only person he'd ever loved. He couldn't even bring himself to go in there to look at it. What's the use in saying goodbye now? It's too late. I blew it. He hated himself. He hated everyone about himself. William was the worst human alive right now and everything was his fault. The thought that there was nothing left in the empty shell of Gabriel's earthly body. William wanted to reach out to him and find him. But he couldn't. There was nothing left to find. That was all he was, an empty husk. William had never felt more alone in his life. There had always been something comforting about feeling the presence of Gabriel's mind around him, feeling that constant stream of mellow happiness that always branched off of him. It was gone. He'd never feel it again.
William clung to the boy sitting next to him and could do nothing but cry pitifully on his shoulder. He felt pathetic. Crying didn't help anything. It wouldn't bring Gabe back and nor was it making him feel any better. But that was all he could do. William didn't know what else to do. He felt bad for August for dragging him here, the hospital wasn't a nice place to spend your evening, especially in a situation like this. There was a doctor standing in the doorway watching the two, William wondered if this happened often, briefly. He wondered how many deaths that man had seen, how many times weeping families had huddled on this couch to comfort each other and say their last goodbyes to their loved one. He didn't like to think about it.
"I loved him." He finally mumbled, his voice hoarse and raspy from crying. He'd screamed when they'd told him. He'd screamed so loud he thought his ear drums were going to burst. An uncontrollable fit of shaking had since overtaken the boy, he was white as a ghost and his cheeks stung from tears. "I loved him so much." That was all he'd wanted to say to Gabriel. Even if he couldn't bring him back again he just wanted to curl up next to him one more time and whisper those words in his ear. That wouldn't make things better, but it might help a little. The thought of the lifeless body in the next room only made him weep even harder. There was no noise anymore, all the energy felt like it had been drained out of him. I'm sorrys and I love yous wouldn't help anymore. Gabe was already dead. They'd told him how it had happened. Cardiac arrest. A single shock to the heart that would have stopped it. At least that's what they thought, it could have caused a full on heart attack. William didn't like to think about that. He must have been terrified. He must have known it was happening.
That was the worst thought, though. The worst thought was that he'd had to wait for death to take him, knowing it was coming the whole while. No one should go through that alone. That was exactly what had happened to him, though. William burst into a new flood of tears. There and then he decided that this was the absolute worst day of his life. There was no words in the whole of the English language that could have possibly described how he was feeling right now. He felt like none of this was real. Oh God please be a dream. Please be a bad, bad dream and let me wake up in my bed. That's all I need to do. Wake up, wake up, wake up. This wasn't a dream though, and no matter how tight William squeezed his eyes shut, when he opened them again he found he was still sat on the same couch, sat with the same boy and sat in the same building as the corpse of his dead boyfriend. </div>