Sorry Not Sorry

Sarrain

Sarrain

The Salt Sea
Inactive
Supporter
Jan 30, 2016
6,703
Arizona
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Daily, Weekly
Rory almost flinched when Jude touched her. Almost. She wished he could have hugged her. "I don't know what to say, Jude. I don't like this place. It just reminds me of life before, when I was pretending and I feel like I have to start pretending all over again.

"I miss home and the New Sentinel. And I miss my breakfasts, and I don't even think I'd get to have those again if I went home. I fucked up bad."
 
Romi

Romi

Secretly a Bird
Administrator
Supporter
Jun 18, 2015
10,109
Gender
Female
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Irregularly
She missed home. They all did, but him? Probably him least of all. He missed his father. He missed the new sentinels. But they life he'd had? He didn't miss that. His home was gone, burned to the ground. Everyone else had left things behind when they'd jumped, but Jude? Jude had almost everything. The only things he missed were the letters from his father. His life had been that of a captive, a rapunzel locked in a high tower.

Manta Carlos was a paradise to him.

But he knew it wasn't the same for them.

"Don't pretend," Jude said. "Just... be you."

They felt hollow even as he said them.
 
Sarrain

Sarrain

The Salt Sea
Inactive
Supporter
Jan 30, 2016
6,703
Arizona
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Daily, Weekly
That felt... not like something Rory could do. It felt like running down a nightmare hallway that never ended.

"I'm trying."

And she was. She was still acting like Adrastia, when she could. But... she wasn't a hero anymore. She couldn't do that. Back to normal life, without anything worth pretending she was normal for.

"It should have been a phase. Why couldn't it have been a phase? Why can't I just adapt and be happy like all of you?"
 
Romi

Romi

Secretly a Bird
Administrator
Supporter
Jun 18, 2015
10,109
Gender
Female
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Irregularly
Sometimes Jude felt like he didn't understand her. Not really. Their motives for being a hero were too different, like night and day. For him it had been a means to an end. For Rory? All there was.

"I guess... find out what specifically you like about it. And then search for similar things."
 
Sarrain

Sarrain

The Salt Sea
Inactive
Supporter
Jan 30, 2016
6,703
Arizona
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Daily, Weekly
She gave a snort, covering up the idea that she might cry. God. Rory felt like a loser. Most people didn't live for that lifestyle. In fact, for all the team it seemed like a phase of some sort. But for Rory it never had been.

"I guess belonging. Being with you guys. Helping people. Freedom. I liked how dangerous it was, funny enough."
 
Romi

Romi

Secretly a Bird
Administrator
Supporter
Jun 18, 2015
10,109
Gender
Female
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Irregularly
"We're not going away," Jude said, well aware of just how close to crying Rory was. She was just... on the edge. Going to topple. And he couldn't even hug her and make it better.

"We're still going to be here. No matter what. You guys are... you guys are my best friends. The people who matter to me the most. We're branching out, but we're not moving on. We're not going to leave you behind."
 
Sarrain

Sarrain

The Salt Sea
Inactive
Supporter
Jan 30, 2016
6,703
Arizona
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Daily, Weekly
I know," Rory lied, sniffling and wiping harder at her face. "Just... I want to be like you guys. I want to be happy with normal. I want to relate to people like that. I want to be like you guys."
 
Romi

Romi

Secretly a Bird
Administrator
Supporter
Jun 18, 2015
10,109
Gender
Female
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Irregularly
He hugged her anyway. Even though it was awkward, and he had to be careful. But he did it anyway, watching where he moved and how he moved and trusting she'd be still as he hugged her.

"This is a... it's a fake it till you make it. Just... trying. I don't think either Travis or Janelle is really as happy as they look. I think they're just... playing along. Playing at being normal."

They were all hurting. They just weren't showing it.
 
Sarrain

Sarrain

The Salt Sea
Inactive
Supporter
Jan 30, 2016
6,703
Arizona
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Daily, Weekly
Rory had to be still as possible when Jude wrapped his arms around her and held her close. That always took something away from the affection, wondering if he'd be hurt again, but it was nice to know he was trying.

"I wish I had the answers," she said as she choked back sobs, carefully putting her forehead to his shoulder where her tears would soak into his shirt. "I wish I could make us all happy and we'd be good. I want to pull us out of fine but I don't know how."
 
Romi

Romi

Secretly a Bird
Administrator
Supporter
Jun 18, 2015
10,109
Gender
Female
Pronouns
She/Her
Posting Status
Irregularly
She was crying, and he carefully rubbed at the back of her shirt. He wished he could just hug her. Maybe. Maybe if he could manage it, that would be...

That would be nice.

"You should talk to... to Officer Genovese. To an adult. To someone who's better then us at things like this. Because we... we're still kids. We're still trying to figure this out, and we shouldn't have to do this alone. But you need to focus on yourself. You need to make yourself happy. You can't just spend all your time worrying about all of us."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Forgot your password?