School of Hard Knocks

Kada

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The weather was turning somewhat milder as summer vacation finally came to an end. Bartholomew was taking advantage of the nice weather by having his first class meet outside on day one. The note he had left on his classroom door instructed those taking his class to meet by the tree a short walk behind the building. There he waited, standing tall in what he hoped was an authoritative stance; feet shoulder width apart, back straight, arms folded behind his back. He had also decided that his outfit would reflect what he had commonly worn when he was out on a hunt, back when that was his life. The leather jacket was making him sweat, even with the milder temperature, but he was more than used to it.

He watched with a deadpan expression as his students filed in under the tree one by one. They were a younger lot than he was expecting, and of such varied species that he was sure there were some even he hadn't seen. There were even a few that he could tell were disguised, which made him smile just a bit. After a quick role call and noticing with surprise that he actually had no students missing the first day, Bartholomew took a deep breath and relaxed his stance.

"Good afternoon to each and every, ah, one of you. My name is Bartholomew Woodman, although if you'd like you can call me Mr. Barty. The class you are in is called Human Interactions. If you aren't, um, registered for this class, then, you should... probably get running to wherever you're, you know, supposed to be. For those of you who are, ahm, supposed to be here, welcome.
To give you a little, um, a little background about myself... I am a retired... monster hunter,"
Bartholomew felt himself cringe even as he said the word. With a cough to maintain his composure, he continued, "Now that, ah, term might offend some of you. And it should. None of you are... are monsters. I was, unfortunately, raised in a way that saw the world in a, uh, very black and white manner. There was us, the, uh, the people. And there were the... monsters. People were good, monsters were, um, bad.
Now I have made some, uh, pretty serious changes in my life. I was forced to uh... to put my beliefs to the test. And they came back lacking substance. So, doing what any rational person would, you know, do, I did away with them."


He began walking through his crowd of students, getting a good look at all of them. "This class will primarily benefit those of you who, ah, want to reintegrate into the outside world once you graduate. You will learn how to... learn to blend into human society, as well as avoiding other people who still, um, want to hunt you down. This class will cover some, ah, difficult topics, both in technicality and emotional, um, depth. If you don't, ah, think you're ready for that... you're free to, uhm, drop the class."

Bartholomew stopped in the center of the crowd of students and looked around. "Now before we go any further, are there any, um, questions?"
 

Tomas Elliot

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Aug 12, 2016
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Please explain to me what we are doing here.

Asked Kohakuren, in her usual bored tone.

P-please lower your voice! This is a very important class for us, you know: after all, we are used to living in a small island where people would worship us, we know nothing about how to interact with most normal humans, and this looks like the perfect place to learn...

So basically, the very first class we took in this school will teach you how to ged laid. I didn't think you were that kind of girl!

K-KOHAKUREN!

Hasuka at this point was blushing furiously, so much so she was casting a faint red light on the people around her.

What? That's just what this class looks like to me. Besides, the teacher is pretty damn bad with words: explaining to me that he is used to having flawed conceptions is not the best way to persuade me to believe what he is saying...

P-please don't be rude, we should at least show the due respect to a teacher!

Correction: YOU should show the due respect to a teacher. I am well above you humans, so I don't really care about your social conventions.

The problem with this conversation was that Kohakuren had no indoor voice, and Hasuka, as much as she tried to keep it down, tended to peak at some very high pitches, whenever she was flustered and/or embarrassed. As a result, everyone at the lesson could hear every word, including the teacher.
 

Kada

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Barty stared at the girl who was speaking in two radically different voices, almost having an agent with herself. He watched her intently, making note of the glowing aura that surrounded her. His vision didn't tell him what she was, but it was still unique. If he were still a hunter, he would be able to track her even in a crowd of other non-humans. Even if she changed her form.

But Barty could feel other students murmuring at her comments. And he felt a twinge of anger at her dismissal of his class as a means to get laid. He clenched his fists tightly and set his jaw before addressing the class. "Let me be perfectly clear then. This class is not about hooking up with humans or any other species. You can all find time to do that on your own. If that's what you thought this was, then quite frankly you can get the fuck out of my class until you grow up."

He turned his gaze to the split personality girl and began walking towards her. He kept his voice even as he approached, letting his years of hunting experience take over. "Alright miss. Let's have a little hypothetical scenario. You're in a shopping mall, and since you think you don't have to follow human convention, you start talking to yourself like you just did.
First thing that will happen, people will avoid you. If it continues, someone will call the police thinking you might be a dangerous psychopath. The police show up and try to take you away. If you resist, they will arrest you. If you continue to resist, they will pull their weapons. If you retaliate with your powers, someone will have recorded that. And once it's recorded, a monster hunter will find it. And they will hunt you down until they kill you or die trying."

"And make no mistake. Monster hunters have been around for thousands of years. Time and technology have made them very good at what they do. No matter how immortal or invulnerable you think you are, there is a way to bring you down and they will sacrifice as many of their own to find it as they have to.
The things I've seen other hunters do to non-humans who couldn't be killed by normal means, it's chilling. The kind of gory stuff you see in old horror films."
 

Tomas Elliot

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Aug 12, 2016
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Kohakuren smirked of an evil, slasher smirk. However, since she was a disembodied spirit, nobody could see that, although Hasuka could feel it.

Oh? Looks like you made the teacher mad.

The fox commented.

T-THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU KNOW!

Protested Hasuka, who at this point was in a complete panic.

I am terribly sorry, please accept my apologies!

She then said to the teacher, bowing as politely as she could

I just wanted to follow your class, I am serious about it! I swear! But Kohakuren... Well, she is very abrasive and has no indoor voice, but I assure you that-

Hasuka, shut up.

It was the kind of tone that makes it absolutely impossible to disobey a command. Hasuka's mouth snapped close mid-sentence.

Listen well, human: while I commend your courage to talk to me like that, I'll have you know that nothing you just said concerns me in the slightest. If a scenario like the one you described indeed takes place, Hasuka will be the one to suffer from the consequences, not me. Our senses are not linked: if she is hit I feel no pain, and if she dies, I will simply go back to being a wandering spirit, like I was before I was bound to her. I could care less about what happens to her body: even now, if you get mad at me and punish me... Well, Hasuka will be the one actually punished. Which, come to think of it, could very well be rather amusing: are you going to get detention on your very first class, Hasuka-chan?

You're horrible...

Whined Hasuka.

Oh, I'm merely joking, don't get your fundoshi in a twist. If this class is so important for you, I will remain quiet until it's over. You humans have some very roundabout ways of interacting with one another, so this will be good learning experience for me as well: it will be like watching a documentary!
 

Kada

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Barty felt his jaw set angrily against the arrogance of the being talking to him from this girl's body. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate behavior or not, but he placed a hand on Hasuka's shoulder and gave her a small smile. "Don't worry. You aren't in trouble, miss. I'm guessing you dont have a lot of control over this... Kohakuren, was it? Hm..."
Barry tilted his head as he made a mental note of what he knew about the girl and her spirit, for later research.

Taking his hand off of her shoulder, he gave a stern look in her direction, but more over her head, aiming his disapproving glance at the top of the aura she gave off in his vision. "As for you, I'm glad you've decided to let me teach my lesson. If you don't have anything useful to add, let Hasuka pay attention as she pleases, since she's the one with a vested interest in what I am teaching."

"Now," he said, turning to look at the rest of the students, "are there any other comments or concerns before I get started?"
 
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