Private Saturday Barbecue with H.P. Lovecraft

Again and again, Tilly was amazed at how remarkably easy it was to get what you needed on Manta Carlos. Need an entire roast pig in a hurry? Boom, no problem. Need an empty warehouse to summon an eldritch abomination? Say no more. Need access to the name of a powerful entity beyond the realms of language and reason? Check the phonebook.

It had been awhile since Tilly tried to summon a power far greater than her own. She could remember only too well what a fiasco her last foray into the business had been, and wisely had deigned not to attempt the endeavour again for a while. But here she was, meticulously drawing out a five-pointed star, with each point touching the edge of the circle. Each point was equidistant to its peers, representing the five elements of fire, air, water, earth, wind, and spirit, all enclosed in a circle, representing mankind’s control over all such elements.

It was almost exactly the same as the pentacle that she’d used to summon Paimon’s brat. Well, except this time it was perfect. And huge. It was about 200 feet in diameter, encompassing a huge amount of floor space, encompassing a few crates she hadn’t been able to move. She needed to conserve her power, so she hadn’t bothered to do so by magical means.

Near the edge of the circle, where she stood now, having finally completed its circumference, a makeshift fire burned on the stone floor, magically maintained. Hanging over it was a supernaturally large pig on a spit, magically turning itself and cooked to perfection. She’d even stuck an apple in its mouth and cherries in its eyes. Despite her wizardly sensibilities and scholarly disposition, Tilly was country, born and bred, and one thing she knew was how to cook a pig. Four cups of kosher salt, two quarts of traverse city cherry barbecue sauce, and a whole lot of love later, the pig was just about done, the juices dripping down into the fire and sizzling. She’d resisted the urge to cut herself a portion as she gazed upon her handiwork. She’d spent about a month’s allowance just getting the fixings for this offering, and while the entity she was summoning was huge, hopefully the quality of her offering was sufficiently pleasing.

Checking her verbiage for the hundredth time, she was finally satisfied with the offering she’d prepared. Beside the pig, she’d set up the fixings of a feast she might have had back home, with about 50 pounds of coleslaw and potato salad and about ten two liters of soda, tucked away in a cooler. She didn’t know if this particular entity liked coke or pepsi, so she just did five of each. She’d also set out a paper plate, plastic cutlery, and a single red solo cup, mostly as a formality. She was positive this wouldn’t work for a being so large, but the courtesy of the act was still important

With all of that finished, and the circle formed, the ritual was finally ready. She threw on her cloak over her street clothes and took up her staff. She didn’t bring her rod, as that might have invoked the impression of aggressiveness, but the cloak and staff, paired with her pointed hat, did wonders to make her seem more authoritative and wizardly. Swallowing hard, she tapped her staff upon the ground once, activating the circle. The chalk began to glow with arcane energy, and she spoke.

”Altizica” She spoke softly, her words sending a wave of energy radiating through the circle. ”Come forth.”

Wow, that sure worked fast. A lot of the time this sort of ritual took ages, what with primordial beings and their extremely busy schedules. She’d expected it to work, of course, but this freaky fast delivery put Jimmy Johns to shame.

When the light faded, she was met with another surprise. She’d made the circle a bit large mostly out of fear of cosmic energy being released upon summoning a potentially unwilling host, but maybe she’d overdone it just a bit. Her information wasn’t foolproof but she’d expected this entity to be a seven foot tall winged monstrosity, not just some dude not even a foot taller than her. Well, you know what they say about assuming. Tilly would have to reassess her biases after all this was over.

He walked towards her, nonplussed, and mostly normal looking. Of course she knew that many creatures could shift their shape, but that didn’t keep her confident features from twisting into thinly-suppressed surprise.

”I like to think it’s both in equal measure.” She smiled. ”You can call me Tilly, and it’s wonderful to make your acquaintance.” She said politely, careful not to give out her full name. Not all supernatural entities used names, but some could do some pretty unpleasant stuff if they got ahold of even just one of your names.

Normally, she might have resented the use of the word “Kiddo,” but even she knew her place when it came to dealing with godlike beings. As it were, things would go much smoother than she expected if his(?) mood remained this way. She even let the side comment about her pentacle go: She’d been berated for using such simple symbolism before, but Tilly was a practical wizard, and pentacles took a lot less chalk than some of the more oblique summoning diagrams.

Her smile grew as Altizica noticed her offering. She’d been raised to take pride in everything she did, magical or not, and she’d worked hard on preparing this offering. It was good to hear that she’d done well. ”Of course, help yourself!” She beamed, gesturing towards the small table where she’d set the sides, the coolers, and the plate and cutlery. ”I hope everything is to your liking.”

As the deity stepped forward, her eyes widened, and she took two quick steps back, pressing her weight preemptively on her staff in what would likely be a futile defense. She had never squared off with something so powerful as The Devourer, and she hadn’t expected her barrier to fail.

-But he seemed rather chill about the whole affair?

Her shoulders visibly relaxed as he gave his critique of her circle. In truth, she’d only been able to summon him because of this circle, since all she needed was a name, but it was abundantly clear that it wasn’t nearly strong enough to hold something like… Alt?

By thunder and wind, it was a good thing Tilly had a good poker face for these things. She didn’t show too much panic besides that initial step back, which was quite understandable seeing as her circle had just been shattered. He seemed preoccupied by the pig for the moment, and she was keenly aware of the escape bracelet she wore, concealed in her sleeve. She’d learned not to summon big names in the supernatural community to her dorm room, and more importantly, she’d learned to give herself an exit strategy.

”There’s more sauce by the cooler if you’d like more.” She said, pointedly keeping the conversation as casual as she had been before in spite of her rising desire to run or fight or freeze. ”Personally I like a lot more on my roast, but I get told I slather it on too thick, and I didn’t want to offend your sensibilities.”

She couldn’t hide the visible fascination in her eyes as his face distorted to bite a chunk clean off the pig, ignoring the plate she’d set out for him. She wasn’t offended.
”Hmm? -Oh, right.” She shook her head, having momentarily forgotten why she was there. ”I have a trade to offer you, Alt.” She said, standing up a little straighter. ”I’d like to establish a working relationship. I am a wizard of greatly waxing power, but I find as my power grows, so to do the threats against me. I would like to offer my services to you in exchange for protection.” She said, her voice commanding and businesslike, almost comical coming from her teeny frame.

”Namely, I can provide assistance in matters of the arcane, and I can probably help you find enough food to eat your fill. In exchange, I’d ask that you come to my aid when I call for you, and defend my life with your wondrous power.” She explained, trying to flatter without groveling.

”We can discuss terms further if you are interested. Otherwise, my offering is freely given, and bears no obligation upon you.”

Tilly flushed a bit at Alt’s insinuation, her eyes following his towards the summoning circle.
”My Conjuration could use some work, I admit, but my other talents more than make up for it. ” She admitted, adjusting her grip on her staff, fidgeting a bit with nervous discomfort. She’d thought the circle had been executed quite well. This very same circle had contained the child the Lesser Key of Solomon, and would have held her back completely, had she not blundered in one incredibly small minutia of her Latin verbiage. The circle here had been perfect, but her power with such a general ritual wasn’t yet great enough to to hold back an Old One.

She’d soon correct that.

”I’ve crossed paths with Goetic Demons, a djinn, and a few lesser outsiders, and I think another eldritch deity? I’m not really sure about that last one, they never really came out and said it.” She said, counting on her fingers. ”With you at my side, I could safely seek out much greater names without fear.” She explained. She tended to keep her plans close to her chest, but this being seemed to relish the challenge, so she was less secretive than normal.

She was surprised that he was willing to assist her for practically nothing. Just the prospect of a fight and a snack or two was enough to sate the insatiable appetite of Altizica?
”If it’s a fight you’re looking for, you’re in the right company.” She smiled wryly. ”I could have used you when the Deep Ones moved into my basement.”

She jested, but the memory was uncomfortable to think about. Within her library, a book began to glow and shudder, and she felt her awareness drawn to it as it snapped open, illustrating a scene. Blaine, hanging like a stuck pig in a butcher ship, about to be dragged to the depths of Lake Michigan and devoured whole by a swarm of not-quite people, with clammy, scaled hands and eyes that seemed too far apart, and row upon row of thin, sharp teeth, as thick as the bristles of a broom.

She closed the book forcefully, and her eyes snapped open as it snapped shut.
”I can guarantee that if you answer my call, there will never be a dull moment.”

”Oh, no, I don’t go around promising my soul to anyone.” She assured him, oblivious to the question’s rhetorical nature. ”Mostly I trade favors or information. It’s hard to wheel and deal your way to greater magical prowess without giving up your soul or your names, but I’m climbing the ladder, nonetheless…” She trailed off, watching as the pig was no more. The whole thing was gone, bones and all. Cool.

His last question made her compulsively shrug. Realizing that the gesture could be seen as disrespectful, she quickly added an explanation. ”Uh, I guess it depends on circumstances. I can give you a heads up if I think I’m gonna need you, but I’ll probably spare you the lesser foes. I can make fried calamari of a Deep One or two, but if I annoy a minor deity or something, you’ll be the first to know.” She explained.

”A-assuming you find those conditions pleasing, Mister Alt, sir.” She added, a touch of childish sweetness in her voice.