right before my eyes

By now, the cold had gotten to him and he found himself unable to keep running. His legs felt like jelly and his lungs were burning. A few deep coughs came out of his throat and he placed the sleeve of his black sweat shirt over his eyes, attempting to stop another flow of tears that were about to erupt. January had left him earlier that morning... and if things had actually been bad, maybe he wouldn't have been as hurt. But everything had seemed fine... apparently, they couldn't even talk about it or even break off face to face. No — he had to be told in a letter. Well, it seemed January really had never cared for Sabriel in the end.

Checking the time on his cell phone, he realized classes had already started for the day. He didn't care; he was going home, anyway. Sabriel was already going in the direction of the city, even if he wasn't even very far from the school building yet. His strides weren't very long and his head was turned down, which probably accounted for why he wasn't very far away yet. Today had been horrible, and things had all seemed perfect yesterday. He really had finally learned what the saying 'too perfect' meant.

Having been so deep into his misery, Sabriel hadn't heard the knife slice through the air at all. However, as he heard something crunch into the snow in front of him, he looked at it, raising an eyebrow upon seeing the tiny blade stuck there. He looked in the direction he was assuming it came from, about to start bawling when he saw Hollow. This was just dandy. First he had been dumped, and now an 'old friend' of January's was trying to kill him.

"This is my revenge."

The punch sent him backward, forcing him to fall into the snow and skid on his back. The notebook full of songs and the goodbye note was flung from his hand, though his cell phone remained in its place in his pocket. Sabriel bit his lip in pain, whimpering softly. "Revenge for what? What, is he an ex or something?" Sabriel pushed himself up in the snow, looking up at Hollow as he tried to catch his breath. He didn't plan on fighting back... but he still wanted answers.

"Hm, I'm suprised your alone. Did he leave you, you miserable little kitten?"

His ears flattened against his head. Those ears weren't permanent... but no one except his family knew that. "Shut up..." he said lowly, offended that Hollow had even mentioned that. Then again, January had mentioned that he was always a mean person. It shouldn't have been surprising.

He screamed out in pain as he was kicked again, eyes trembling as he looked up the blade that was being held above him. Last words? How cliche. Sabriel didn't plan on fighting back; but he didn't plan on dying, either. "Yes, actually," he said. "If I die, it'll be because I killed myself, not because of you." He fell into a nearby shadow and came out of another one about ten feet away, forgetting the notebook there on the ground. It wasn't... important.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've done nothing to you, and I really need to go home and mourn." He narrowed his golden eyes, highly doubting Hollow would be able to respect that.

“Too bad only your family will be mourning today!”

Family? Ha... what family? The only family he had was his Aunt Michelle; everyone else was either dead, or dead to him. He had expected to get away at that point, but Hollow wound up throwing the knife in his direction. Sabriel was frozen, and the moment he saw January, his eyes widened both in worry, shock, and anger. "You idiot..." he said, looking at the knife sticking through his stomach. Immediately his golden eyes became moist; what the hell was he thinking?! He said he didn't love him and then took a knife for him?! "You..."

"My Sabriel senses tingled...I should've known he'd go for you instead of me."

Sabriel senses? The boy would have laughed if the situation hadn't so suddenly become deadly. "What were you thinking..." he asked, reaching his hand out and wanting to touch January, but afraid that if he did so, the older male might fall apart. "I thought you didn't..." He had just been stabbed, for goodness sakes! Unable to help himself, a few tears rolled down his cheeks. And he was just standing there... what was wrong with him?!

"If you know what's good for you, leave."

"Get back to the school," Sabriel ordered. Even if he was no longer January's 'master', he was still looking out for his well being. "You need to get help... I'm not leaving you... not like this..."

Anger flashed across Sabriel's golden eyes as he looked at Hollow. Oh, he had a few words for that boy. Though he was firmly against violence, he couldn't let January get hurt and not get some sort of revenge. A few shadows lifted from the ground and flew at Hollow, attempting to wrap around him. If Sabriel could at least bind him, then he could take care of January without having to worry.

Sabriel became slightly tense when January touched his shoulder and took his hand. The boy looked down, unsure what to think. First he loved him, then he didn't love him and didn't want anything to do with him, and now... what was this? He didn't care if January used him, abused him, or hurt him if it made him happy - but he just wanted the older male to make up his mind.

“Would you have believed me if I said I just wanted to save you?”

"But why save the person who makes you feel like everything you do is wrong...?" Sabriel asked in a voice barely above a whisper, quoting the letter January had left for him. Realizing he had dropped that and his cell phone, Sabriel pushed himself out of January's grip, grabbing his belongings. Though the material objects were hardly worth as much as January's life, he still didn't want to lose them, as both had been gifts from the very man who stood before him.

“He’s given up… Something we did triggered something in his head…”

In a way, Sabriel almost felt bad for him. As soon as Hollow was out, the shadows recoiled and returned to their proper place. Sabriel frowned as he looked at the other boy, wishing he could know what made him act out so violently.

"I'll be going now..."

Sabriel shivered, both from the cold, January's words, and the kiss he left on his ear. He turned and looked at him, shaking his head fiercely and running after him, grabbing his arm. "Just at least come see the nurse with me before you go," he begged, his voice cracking. "I don't care if you hate me, I can't stand the thought of losing you..." Sabriel gently tugged on his arm, hoping that January would listen to him just this one last time. "I'll leave as soon as you're fine, I swear..." He'd say and do anything just to make sure January would be all right. Sabriel should have been the one to take that knife; he was the one with the death wish. He didn't need or want saving... not when he almost wished it would have hit him.

“Sabriel, listen to me…”

Sabriel didn't want to listen. He just wanted January to go to the hospital wing and get help! He was bleeding and the knife was still in him, they didn't have enough time to chat! Sabriel almost wanted to cry; silent tears had already been falling. He nodded, however, knowing that January would make him listen no matter what.

“I would never, ever leave you for such ridiculous reasons. Chances are I wouldn’t leave you at all.”

"But you..." Sabriel went silent as January nuzzled himself against his ears. His ears pressed down against his head and again he recalled the thoughts he had earlier. He wanted to lose his ears with January, but Sabriel was so confused right now. Were they together, were they not together?

“I left you so you would be safe, and I wrote those words so you wouldn’t come for me…I…can’t believe you believed me at all.”

Sabriel immediately felt guilty for being such a fool. "But I believe everything you tell me..." he said softly. It could have been the most outrageous thing in the world, but if January said it, Sabriel would trust and believe him wholeheartedly. If he said the sky was green and the grass was blue, then that's how it would be. Nothing else mattered. If he had left him simply for that, then Sabriel believed him and threw the words in the notebook out of his head.

“I swear, I love you.”

The feeling of his lips once again his own caused the boy to almost melt. "I love you too..." Oh, it felt so good to have him back... but he tasted blood. Sabriel's eyes went wide and he backed away, becoming more and more worried as the seconds passed. He didn't know what to do; January was clearly in pain and taking the weapon out of him didn't seem to help much. When he mentioned committing suicide, Sabriel could have slapped himself. So he hadn't been the only contemplating that...?

But this wasn't the time. "Then I'm guessing we're still together, and if we're still together, I'm still your master, and right now I'm ordering you to come to the hospital wing with me!" Sabriel tugged at January's harm harder this time, though he didn't know how much good it would do. January was bigger, older, and stronger than him, but he hoped he would at least stop being so stubborn. "I don't want you to die... if one of us has to it should be me, not you!"

“Nothing like this will ever happen again, I promise.”

A smile graced the teenager's lips. "Good..." he said. Things would have been so much easier if January hadn't left, and Sabriel never wanted to go through something like this again. He didn't want any lies to be protected; all he wanted was for January to stay by his side, even if that meant Sabriel getting hurt in the process.

"But...but Sabriel...I want you to...stay with me...if you desire..."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving." Not now that they had made up and were all right again. He would stay by January's side until he was well again and stick by him even after that. He wasn't leaving.

As soon as January fell to his knees, Sabriel cursed and got down with him. This was going to be hopeless! He slipped an arm under January's and brought it around his back, trying to help support his weight. It was probably useless, but he wasn't going to just leave him in the snow like that. That attempt had really been for nothing; it had all been for nothing. "Lean on me," he said quietly in January's ear, struggling to his feet but getting there. If he couldn't walk with him, then he was sure he could end up dragging him. That would require January to be unconscious, though, and he really didn't want that to happen.

"I've got you..." he assured him, sighing inwardly. This whole situation could have been avoided... but there was really no point in dwelling on that. They couldn't go back and change what had happened.

-

Once they had reached the hospital wing, Sabriel brought January to an empty bed and put him down there as gently as he could. He smiled down at him, kissing his forehead before running to get bandages. He didn't exactly want the nurses touching him when he could easily help himself.

He quickly returned to January with the bandages in hand and pulled his shirt up, beginning to wrap them around where the wound was. He was probably going to need a nurse eventually because of the possible internal damage, but this would at least stop the bleeding.

“You’re a great medic.”

The boys cheeks became red at the compliment. "Thanks..." he said. Watching those shows on television and reading those books had seemed to come in handy. As the blood began to seep through the first layer of bandages, Sabriel quickly started wrapping more around him, hoping he wasn't applying them too tightly. While they had to be tight enough to stop the bleeding, making them too tight might restrict breathing or... something.

“I’m sorry I screwed up, master.”

He shook his head dismissively, most of his attention on making sure the bandages were on right. "It doesn't matter," he said, offering January a smile. "I just want you to be okay." The smile turned into a frown and he furrowed his brows, tying the ends of the bandages as soon as he had finished wrapping them around him. He had used a few layers, so hopefully it was thick enough that the blood wouldn't go through. "Does that feel all right?" he asked.

When January sat up, Sabriel pouted slightly. He was glad that he could sit up already, but still, he should be resting! "You should lay down..." he mumbled, not wanting to order January around anymore but still wanting to look out for his best interest.

"I love you, just in case you forgot,"

The statement made Sabriel's smile return. "Well, you know what?" He grinned, his golden eyes bouncing with mischief. "I love you more. And you know why? Because I've already made up my mind that I'm gonna be with you when my ears go away." He winked, though he wasn't sure if January would understand.

“It feels great. Don’t be concerned about me, I’m feeling much better.”

"Yay!" Sabriel couldn't help but say quietly. His wonderful medical knowledge had finally been put to good use, and he was glad January was feeling better. He would probably have a nurse look at him later, just to be sure; he wasn't qualified to do this sort of thing, after all. "Let's just hope that nasty scratch goes away soon." He was so proud of January; he was being so strong about this. If Sabriel had been the one to be stabbed, he would have been screaming and crying and wouldn't have stopped. His ears flattened against his head at the thought; he looked and still acted like such a little kid... Well, at least he hadn't freaked out over the blood.

“I can’t look at you as well from down there. I like to see you.”

Sabriel laughed and let out a short squeak when he was tugged downward, but he didn't complain. He curled up as much as he could in the small space next to January, lifting his eyebrows and laughing again. "You're so silly," he said, sticking his tongue out. A grin sprad across his face when January kissed his cheek and he sighed in content. He hoped January would be better soon... that was the only downpart on this moment.

“Your ears?”

The boy should have expected the question. He shrugged, trying to figure out how to correctly put the statement. When January mentioned how much he liked his ears and tail, Sabriel almost frowned. They made him look so cute... he was fifteen and he still looked like a little boy, mostly because of his cat-like appendages.

His ears started twitching, just as January had predicted. Sabriel placed a hand over them to try and make them stop before shaking his head. "Well, they have to go away at some point..." he said. "It simply means that I'm an adult... and I want to do that with you." Sabriel took January's hand in his, lightly running his thumb over January's knuckles. "Should happen before I'm sixteen, I think."

"Are you okay?"

Sabriel was taken out of his thoughts and his ears perked right back up when January asked him that. Oh, there was no way he was going to say what he had been thinking! It was embarrassing... he was glad he had at least not freaked out over the situation. Sabriel shook his head, offering a soft, reassuring smile. "I'm perfectly fine," he lied. Oh, he'd always been terrible at lying... he needed to work on that little skill. "I just don't know what I would have done without you." His eyes cast downwards before Sabriel looked up again, planting a short kiss on January's cheek.

He smiled as January nuzzled him, resting his head against his and inhaling deeply to take the moment in.

"Thankyou."

Sabriel grinned, sliding his arms around January's neck when he kissed him and holding him just as tightly. Oh, if he was going to be held captive, so was he! He giggled quietly into January's lips and closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. He still couldn't believe January had been stupid enough to take the knife for him... God, he loved that man. "You're so brave..." Sabriel whispered in admiration.