Reminisce by the Roses

Romi · May 17, 2019

She looked like he was abotu to cry, and once again he reached forward, resting his hand atop her own, trying to give her some kind of physical comfort, something to ground her.

"Broen was always like that," he said. "He would never speak to anyone about anything. Most of what I learned about him I had to learn second hand. He'd never come to me with his homework, or his struggles at school, or anything of the sort. I'd have to hear from his teachers, or from people who'd seen him. He was always like that, and you can't blame yourself for it. It isn't normal or healthy. People who are in a relationship, especially a serious one, should share with each other. They should be open and honest. Broen was never any of those things."

Zora · May 17, 2019

Zora sat there for a moment, staring at Frederick's hand over hers, but not really thinking about much except what he had told her. Frederick's words did not make her feel 100% better, but they did give her an odd sense of clarity. Nobody had actually expressed it like that before, and while she did know that sharing was important, she had always hoped that he'd eventually trust her enough to confide in her. Now, it seemed that perhaps she had misjudged Broen, and that would have never happened, no matter the amount of patience or space, or understanding that she gave him.

"I had really thought respecting his need for privacy, and just being patient, would lead to him trusting and opening up to me, but I guess I was wrong," she said as she looked up at Frederick and sighed tiredly.

"And maybe I expected way too much from him, or perhaps, I just deluded myself into thinking he cared more than he actually did, and it was all just physical, and I actually meant nothing to him," she confessed dejectedly. It was something she loathed to admit, but maybe Broen hadn't actually loved her like he said assured her he did. Maybe she had fooled herself into believing that he actually cared, when he hadn't. The idea wasn't pleasant, but often the truth never was.

"I am sorry for dumping all of this on you, I didn't mean to," Zora said very apologetically, actually blushing now, realizing that maybe Frederick, as kind and understanding as he was being, didn't want to hear about this side of his son's relationship with her.

Romi · May 17, 2019

"No, please don't be," Frederick said. "You were a source of comfort to me in a difficult time, and it's the least I can do to return the favor. I had almost no other visitors, and the fact that you came to visit at all meant a lot to me."

She was blushing, which he suspected was from simple embarrassment, but that didn't stop it from being a good look on her.

"Broen's problem has always been--even since he was a child--that he didn't know how good he had it. He always looked the gift horse in the mouth. He never appreciated the things he was given, and always went searching for something else. Something... more. As a child it meant getting angry he wasn't allowed desert after misbehaving. As an adult, it seems it meant not appreciating the people he had. He was lucky to have a woman like you in his life, but instead of treasuring you, he pushed you away."

He paused a moment, wondering if he was being too harsh, and then shook his head. Broen had never appreciated the things he'd been given, and he was confident Zora would agree.

Zora · May 17, 2019

Frederick's rant surprised Zoraida in a lot of ways, and it probably showed as she flushed deeply. And if she hadn't been so tired and so worn out, physically as well as mentally, she'd most certainly have read into his words a bit more.

"Broen was complicated, I guess. He had very little notion of how his actions affected others," she said with a sigh. 'He lived in this, I dunno, bubble.. A place where he believed he could say and do what he wanted, and would never have to consider how his actions or words affected others..." she mused.

"I truly think he also had very little sense of self-worth. He often asked me why I was with him, and I don't think he could ever reconcile the fact that I could love him for himself despite my assurances," Zora confided, just saddened and tired by it all.

Romi · May 17, 2019

"Complicated is a good way of saying it," Frederick said. "I can't imagine anyone would have thought about how badly this has effected you and still gone through with it."

He shook his head after a moment.

"I have to admit I'm surprised to hear his self esteem was that poor. I suppose that was a more recent thing. As a child, he had nothing but confidence, all the way to the point of arrogance. Maybe it was simply self awareness?" He said, obviously thinking about it.

Zora · May 18, 2019

"I don't honestly know anymore, Frederick," Zora admitted, her voice trailing as she tried to reconcile one image of Broen with the other. Yes, Broen had been snarky, arrogant - most definitely, and certainly self-possessed, confident of himself. It was part of the reason she had found him attractive ... but there was something else there, something she couldn't quite put her finger on at times. A vulnerability of sorts, a part of him that she had only caught a glimpse of every so often, and one he had kept hidden from people in general.

"Maybe I didn't really know him at all, and I only thought I did," she said her tone now regretful and doubtful, "Maybe I was only imagining things. Seeing what I wanted to see, deluding myself into thinking he cared more than he actually did," she said unhappily, her heart aching at that thought and finally bringing watery tears to her eyes.

"I am so sorry, I should probably go soon," she said, now embarrassed as she dabbed at the tears with a paper napkin from the table, "I'm such a mess right now, and you shouldn't have to burden yourself with my problems. You have also lost a son, and here I am babbling on like this," she said, mentally chastising herself.

Romi · May 18, 2019

It was obvious from the way she'd trailed off that he'd struck, if not a nerve, a sore point. She was lost in her own head, doubting herself as she tried to figure out why Broen had acted like he had. She needn't have bothered: Broen had always been impossible to understand. Trying to figure him out was all but impossible.

"I'm sorry for bringing the conversation down," he said after a moment, "but I meant what I said. I'm always open to talk if you'd like."

Maybe it was better to call it there though. They'd talked a lot, she was emotionally wrung out, and while he still had things he wanted to ask...

Maybe not too much. She was still recovering, after all. She needed time.

"It was very nice to speak with you."

Search

Reminisce by the Roses

Romi

Secretly a Bird

Zora

Event Witch

Romi

Secretly a Bird

Zora

Event Witch

Romi

Secretly a Bird

Zora

Event Witch

Romi

Secretly a Bird