Reading the signs

Day 10 outside enemy territory ?

It's been ten days since Alex rescued me. I'm supposed to safe on thus island but I'm not so sure. My parents are awfully quick to get rid of me. Was this there plan all along? They made me the perfect kidnap target and now they're upset that I was rescued. It all seems like a big coincidence he showed up right before they ended me. I don't even remember how long it was, were they even looking for me? It felt like months, and now they've locked me up again. They trapped me on this island like those people trapt me in that dark room.

It's been four days since I slept, I'm running low on supplies. Alex hasn't said anything. Is he giving me space? Why is he giving me space? He doesn't expect me to stay in the house. Why let me have a life if I'm imprisoned on the island? It's all very suspicious.

School is normal, except there's a forgien Dragon in my class. He seemed okay, he helped me get to my classes. He actually really pretty... or is he a trap to? Like my supposed driver back home, freak in sell out. His name is Vega, sounds like a suspicious name to me. Though he's been there a while, so maybe he's not part of the plot. He's a good gamer though.


Ten 11 outside of enemy territory?

So Alex said Raul and them are coming. I almost cried, when Raul showed up. I couldn't help but wonder if I should trust him. How could complete strangers cause me so much distress, so much pain? The bruises are going away, I can wear short sleeves again. I think I might dye my hair, make my appearance different. I found CONCEALER at the supermarket and I know my mom says the stuff makes your face melt but I like my face with out freckles. I haven't spoken to my parents, they tried to call but I don't think I can talk to them. Everything seems suspicious, they said it was safer if I did nothing but go to school and the end of the street. I did that and still got hurt. No matter what they say I'm really not safe am I?

Abel and Lucy are here too, Lucy was a nice face to see and I this Abel is getting out of his funk. It's been five days since I've slept and I honestly feel great. That could be the coffee talking, I think I drank too much. How do you know when you've drank to much coffee anyways?.


Day 12

Alex has a twin, he says he's not a twin but I know the truth. I don't know why but something fishy is going on. Come to think about it, I don't have a birth certificate how do I know my birthday is even my birthday?

I crashed today, ruined my streaked and the nightmares are back. I didn't scream though, Alex comes when I scream and I don't want him to think that I'm still scared. I trust Alex, I don't think he realizes how much shit is actually going on. He must not see our parents the way I do.

I have to get to the bottom of this, what if our parents are really the bad guys. They probably STOLE us or something.

Day 13

Halloween is upon is, he wants me to go trick or treating... I dunno, in other words I'm supposed to meet Vega at the mask ball. I need that video game.
Here are my theories

I'm still captive and hallucinating
I'm actually dead and this is my afterlife
I'm actually Alex's daughter and that's why they sent me with him and never really interacted with me
I'm a clone
leon or Alex is a clone
were all clones
I'm Scottish
my parents used me as bait
Alex is on of them - Alex is on my side
I'm going crazy
Raul, Abel, Alex, Leon And Lucy. Are figments of my imagination

day 1 hundred and fifty seven- pretty sure I lost track.

I know this sounds really weird from the last time that I wrote this, but I think that I'm finally at piece with what happened. I know I can't control things and that sometimes bad things will happen. I also know that I project my anxiety and become incredibly paranoid when things are new. Which is a downside to my parents keeping me in the dark and not telling me anything.

So I have recently admitted my always there feelings for Vega, the Halloween dance went better than I thought it would. Surprisingly enough Alex isn't as much as a doofus as I thought he was originally. I mean he has his own thing going on now, and I pretty much do my own thing. Murduk moved in with some hot new maid, I'm pretty sure he has been returning my sock collection to their rightful owner. I really wish they wouldn't touch my spoon collection. I mean, the house has way too many spoons to begin with and that restaurant around the corner already knows I take them. I mean they give me then with my take out order.

Cheerleading is going well, as well as power training. I only hit a few trees but I replanted them. I haven't really played any video games, I think I might be sick. I have to kind of get back to a normal balance of the things I like. I'm not that much of a recluse anymore, but I still can't say I'm the most trusting person.

WARNING: hints at depression.

I was wrong, i'm not over it. I thought that maybe I was and that I didn't need to talk to anybody. Maybe things weren't as bad I was seeing them, but the anxiety is back. The constant need to stay in my room and not leave. I'm not really sure if I want to leave, the door isn't really looking all that appealing. I wish I could make the door disappear, but more space between myself and the outside world. I don't like this paranoid feeling, I don't like not trusting the people around me. I thought if I told myself over and over again that I could trust people, that they weren't waiting for me to let my gaurd down to strike it would be true.

I wanted everything to be okay and then the nightmares started, I haven't been able to sleep much all summer...I'm afraid to close my eyes. I won't tell anyone though, I can work through this by myself.

I pretty sure everyone is just writing me off, I should probably have someone to trust and talk about these things. I don't want to talk about these things but logically I know I should. How late it too late, How long is too long? I started writing songs, performed somewhat okay at the festival. I didn't really like the crowd too much. I need...I don't know what I need. If I go downstairs for breakfast tomorrow, I could pretend i was just caught up in a game. Spout some nonsense about world conspiracies and everyone will think I'm just being normal Silly Lina.

I pretty much got this down packed. I know it's a stupid way of coping, I know I have horrible coping skills but this is what i got. I won't be the youngest for long, I'd probably have to answer a call from mom and dad eventually. It's not like they ever listen to anything...they just want to make sure I haven't done anything stupid like quit school, cut my hair, got tattoos. I won't even mention the lip ring I have...Or the fact that I've started wearing make up and grew my hair back out.

I need a new hiding spot for this, Alex burned my entire stash of hot pockets. If I had put the notebook back underneath it would've gotten burned. I think maybe under the mattress like a cliche would work...yep i'm gonna try that. School starts soon, crowded hallways, Classes, teachers, new people...new things. I missed my old room, my old school, the small backyard that no one ever looked into. I've gotten used to the island, but I don't think i could ever call it home.