Ooooooh SHIT.

Nix sighed, phone in hand, lying across the now-immaculate couch. He'd set up a comfortable hangout thing. Cleaned out his junk from the edges of the couch, tidied up the kitchen... but there was something that wasn't quite sitting right with him. Sure, it was clean: but would he be able to stop worrying? To even... well...

His head darted back to when he did this once before. That had been special, in it's own way, precious and light and good... and look where that had ended, influenced by his own terrible decisions. That had been under pressure, where he prided himself on his decision-making. He wasn't sure if he would freak out like last time... he couldn't really afford to freak out like last time. His Student Council poster from a few years ago was pinned to the wall outside his bedroom, proclaiming Nix was organizaed and enthusiastic and ready to take on a challenge.

He wished, jeez.

Why was he even doing this? All his sister had done was done this back-to-back, and look where she ended up - she'd sidled up with human scum from the word "go". Would Luna be like that too? Would he care, and then proverbially just, blammo? Yeah, he liked her, and okay, she was kinda amazing and everything and definitely someone he needed in his life... He couldn't think of a but. Didn't he already go through this in head head, multiple times, over the past week?

Balling his fists in frustraton, he let out a yell at the wall, tips sparking. Couldn't he just not think this?

In his anger, he didn't notice the faint knocks on the door, and his yel was probably loud enough tobe heard at least fainlty.

"Nix, are you okay in there?"

It was only heard faintly through the filter of the door, but the tapping noises mirrored his heartbeats as he paced around the apartment. God knew when she'd get here. Muffled voices blended into the normal day-to-day of his neighbors' days and he made a frustrated sound that almost sounded strangled.

"Why can't I just be over this already?"

In his pacing, he knocked down a binder and sent it tumbling to the floor.

Sighing at himself, Nix crouched down to grab the binder, hands sparking. This was so stupid. It was just her coming over, and yet he couldn't stop thinking of everything and anything going wrong. Hell, he'd been planning this for a little under a week now. Fuck, what if he'd fucked it up already by psyching himself out? What if she got here early... or late! Did he even tell her the specific time? What if she was lost right now!

The bangs on the door only irritated him further. He knew something would friggin' come up! Stomping over, he finally swung open the door and yelled at the person there. In his pocket, his phone went bzzzt.

"What the fuck are you here for? I can't do today! I already told you I have an important date with what might be the actual love of my LIFE" - breath - "that I'm already gonna fuck up without you fucking around in my dorm! And then I'd have two fuckfaces in my dorm until she got he - "

And then he noticed Jim's abnormally long... black... hair. And his white t-shirt. And the fact that he was an inch shorter.. and curvier...

FUCK.

Hand flying to his mouth, his eyes widened in realization and horror. He'd just screamed at his date! He backed away, eyes full of disgust at himself. Talk about ruining a date.

"I... I'm so sorry...!"
The words were muffled, but the look he gave her told her everything she needed to know. Backing away, hands now sparking like lightning, he stumbled and tripped over the binder he'd failed to pick up earlier, sending him down to the hard floor. He managed to break his fall with his other hand, but it still hurt like hell. Now he was sure she was hurt - it was written all over her face - and she wouldn't want to see him. Self-fulfilling prophecy, right? That's what it felt like. Nix wished she would leave - no, he wished even more that he could rewind time and not yell at her. Unshed tears stung his eyes like tiny papercuts.
"I didn't mean.. I thought.... y-you were..."

"I just - I was preparing for you to come over and I thought it was some solicitor coming over to check the dorm, cause I want someone to move in to -"

He went on, trying to explain himself, but she silenced him with the few words he heard.

"Y-You... l..love me?"

Ah, shit, she was crying too. Of course he'd make her cry... but...?

He took a moment to realize what he'd said to her. He said she might be the love of his life...?

Well yeah, but he hadn't told her that yet. And now he had. Oh God, he'd actually told her he loved her. To her.

"I - uh, um... yeah, I.... "