Nostalgia [A Journal]
- Thread starter Trahnael
- Start date
- Mar 13, 2015
- 2,410
- Pronouns
- she, her
- Posting Status
- Irregularly, Hiatus
Week 14:
I'm sorry, journal. I almost considered stopping this nonsense. I felt like nothing matters anymore, and to be honest, I've been wanting to stop living. I've been fighting to live for so long, only to realize it's easier to die and become a new person oblivious to the old one.
But I think seeing Dr. Hart again kinda snapped me out. It was nice dancing with him, and during that moment, I realized that lots of things have been happening around me, and most of them didn't concern Lochlann. I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much to remember him with every step the doctor and I made during the dance.
On another note, I remember everything now. Adelene Cross is my real name, and maybe Robert and Susan decided for me to keep it because my father still kept in-touch with them, for me. The woman in the picture frame I had dreamt of was my mother Della who died giving birth to me. I remember that whenever I blamed myself for killing her, my big brother Alaude would hit me in the head and tell me that I'm her reincarnation, being the sole inheritor to our clan's 'Gift', my power, which was previously with my mother. Alaude has a weaker version of it, only being able to manipulate and read all kinds of machines, but unable to copy and summon them.
My father Allister is a normal human, in a sense. But he's the boss to this somewhat mafia-ish organization that specializes in gathering intel and neutralizing unwanted people, especially those with extraordinary abilities. One reason for this organization's existence is the protection of my mother's clan, in which gifted members are considered powerful people, and the one to inherit "The Gift" is the most powerful among them. This Gift, the Gift I inherited, is what evil people, like Seth, want to a sides and enhance for their own gain. How? They can force to bond themselves with me. And that's what I've been trying to avoid.
I was only six when I summoned my first pistol; seven when I learned how to drive by sneaking out into the training field and stealing a motorcycle. Alaude always got angry, but he never told anything to our father. And I've trained everyday to get better, so when the time comes that I'll need to protect myself, I'll be able to survive at the very least.
I'm sorry, journal. I almost considered stopping this nonsense. I felt like nothing matters anymore, and to be honest, I've been wanting to stop living. I've been fighting to live for so long, only to realize it's easier to die and become a new person oblivious to the old one.
But I think seeing Dr. Hart again kinda snapped me out. It was nice dancing with him, and during that moment, I realized that lots of things have been happening around me, and most of them didn't concern Lochlann. I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much to remember him with every step the doctor and I made during the dance.
On another note, I remember everything now. Adelene Cross is my real name, and maybe Robert and Susan decided for me to keep it because my father still kept in-touch with them, for me. The woman in the picture frame I had dreamt of was my mother Della who died giving birth to me. I remember that whenever I blamed myself for killing her, my big brother Alaude would hit me in the head and tell me that I'm her reincarnation, being the sole inheritor to our clan's 'Gift', my power, which was previously with my mother. Alaude has a weaker version of it, only being able to manipulate and read all kinds of machines, but unable to copy and summon them.
My father Allister is a normal human, in a sense. But he's the boss to this somewhat mafia-ish organization that specializes in gathering intel and neutralizing unwanted people, especially those with extraordinary abilities. One reason for this organization's existence is the protection of my mother's clan, in which gifted members are considered powerful people, and the one to inherit "The Gift" is the most powerful among them. This Gift, the Gift I inherited, is what evil people, like Seth, want to a sides and enhance for their own gain. How? They can force to bond themselves with me. And that's what I've been trying to avoid.
I was only six when I summoned my first pistol; seven when I learned how to drive by sneaking out into the training field and stealing a motorcycle. Alaude always got angry, but he never told anything to our father. And I've trained everyday to get better, so when the time comes that I'll need to protect myself, I'll be able to survive at the very least.
- Mar 13, 2015
- 2,410
- Pronouns
- she, her
- Posting Status
- Irregularly, Hiatus
If I didn't run away when my adoptive parents died, I wonder if Father and Alaude would've found me. Would I have been reunited with them? I have a feeling they're both alive and well. I wish they found me. I wish I didn't have to end up being in Manta Carlos. If they found me, I wouldn't have met Leon or Lochlann, and I wouldn't have to hurt like this.
Everything hurts.
I just want it to end.
Everything hurts.
I just want it to end.