Maybe

Nim stood alone in the courtyard, students subconsciously giving him space as though they knew something big was about to happen. Nim himself was dressed... Well, a bit better than usual, at least. Definitely. A white dress shirt was topped off with a black jacket, and for pants he had settled on black jeans. His hair, shaggy as it always was, at least was styled to look presentable, and Nim smelled faintly of soap and nice things - not soap like old people soap, but soap that's meant to smell like coconut and vanilla, because nice smells were one of his guilty pleasures.

Nim shuffled his feet, uncertainty marking his face in the form of furrowed brows and a faint rosy dust on his cheeks. He played at his sleeves, quietly looking around, waiting for someone to arrive. Not just someone. Nim was waiting for Jeffrey Pingleton, his tormentor turned admirer, and he was terrified.
Everything Jeff said was probably a game. It had to be.

Something rooted deep inside Nim whispered hope that it wasn't.

( @MARIE )

Nim could see Jeff's fatigue easily, and he felt vaguely guilty for causing such a reaction. Perhaps he should have been a little less intimidating? Then again, had he been less intimidating, Jeff probably wouldn't have taken him seriously... Unless he was being honest in that message... What were the chances of him being genuine? Was he tired because of everything he was feeling? Or was he tired of having to deal with Nim, upset that his plan wasn't going the right way? Or was it going the right way? Was it all just a massive lie? He knew it!

Nim took a deep breath before meeting Jeff's gaze. His own eyes were guarded, careful, but they weren't... cold. He looked like, for the first time in a very... very long time, that he might just be able to... hope. But in that hope was a frigid terror, and Nim's self-protective walls were strong.

Never one for small talk, Nim cut to the chase. "That letter... Jeff... Jeff, be honest. Please be honest..." he began, and there was such an honest, such an intense look in his eyes, "Did you mean what you said?"

@MARIE

Nim never looked away from Jeff as the other spoke. He took every word to heart, caught every syllable, hung on every letter. These words... This promise... Nim knew he shouldn't believe it, not one bit. He knew better than to give his hopes up like this. After so long... Nim knew damn well that it was a bad idea to trust anyone... But he was tired of being alone. He was so tired of denying who he was, fighting his struggles with no one to lean on. He was tired of the warzone between he and Jeff, he and everyone, he and his entire life that seemed to govern his every day. Here was someone big and strong and attractive and usually genuine that was offering, maybe not love, but something so sweet and so nice compared to the rest of his everything. Nim was so... so desperate for love. He was so terribly lonely in the world, and he couldn't... He couldn't...

Logically, Nim knew that setting his jaw and leaning his head against Jeff's chest was a terrible idea, but he did it anyway.

Nim breathed a long breath, cologn wafting into his nose and making his knees weaker than he would have liked to admit. "...I can't hate you, Jeff," he all but whispered, his voice defeated. "I can't hate you. I never did. You made me so mad, and I lashed out, but I didn't... I couldn't hate you... Not really..."

Letting his eyes fall shut, Nim just let his head continue resting against that hard chest. He felt his eyes burn at this feeling, the feeling that maybe this was what affection felt like. He hadn't known it in a long time. He hadn't known what it felt like to be wanted like that, what it felt like for someone to long to hold him. Not since Jax... Not since...

Nim swallowed thickly.

"I know I shouldn't believe you, Jeff. Everything I've ever learned says I should just leave, but..." Nim trailed off, gathering his words. "But I want to. I'm an idiot for it, and you're probably still not serious, and I'm probably going to regret it, but... I want to trust you, Jeff. I really want to."

Nim didn't care that he was in public. All he cared about was the fact that Jeff was warm, and Nim had been cold for the past many years.

@MARIE

Nim just listened as Jeff spoke, his jaw set hard so he didn't make a sound, didn't interrupt. He was tense, that much was obvious, because who in their right mind would say these things to Nim? To the basket case of a lost cause, a kid who was absolutely completely alone...

...but not alone anymore...?

Jeff wrapped his arms around Nim's waist, and Nim all but had a heart attack, he was tense, incredibly so. No one touched him like this anymore. Only... Only that one person... Only that one man hat Nim hated... hated.... But this was tender. This was something soft and welcoming and careful... And Nim couldn't help but fall into it. His stiffness was replace without warning, relaxation taking its place. Nim gingerly let his own arms rest at Jeff's waist and before he spoke again, he just breathed the lovely smell in.

Nim chuckled a bit. "Well, it's obvious you don't hate me now..." he said, but the smile didn't really reach his eyes. They were warm, though. Even if Jeff couldn't see his eyes right now, they were warm. "I've got no idea why you like me, Jeffrey Pingleton, because I'm not really all that worth it. It's a mystery, really. Especially since I've done my fair share of dickery too.

"I... Know I shouldn't, but I'm going to trust in you this one time. I'm going to give you a chance, Jeff. Show me that... you mean what you say... Okay?"

Nim took a slow, shaky, careful breath, contemplation rampant but lovelust winning out. He didn't want to be alone anymore, and Jeff was so obviously offering company. As more than a friend. Nim wanted someone... Who was more than a friend... Even if it was selfish and wrong and stupid and idiotic and everything Nim knew he should do. He wanted... To feel loved... He wanted it so much.

And Jeff was being so kind...

It was probably a lie.

For the moment, though, Nim didn't want to think about that. At all.

Nim leaned back, not quite looking Jeff in the eye but catching his hand. He gripped it carefully, hesitantly, as though it was a prize that may suddenly run away. Still looking at the ground, Nim ignored the fact that pink was playing faintly at his cheeks. "...Show me what you mean, Jeff. I'm giving you this one chance to... show me all that you mean..."

Nim wanted to know what Jeff's words felt like.

[and in the heat of that all he completely forgot about the dinner proposition oops xD @MARIE ]

The kiss was sudden, in Nim's perspective - sudden enough to take his aback. For a couple seconds, he didn't move, his eyes wide and his body tense, before his mind finally caught up and he... jerked away. Nim didn't mean to. He didn't. It was just that, with only two sets of lips, two unique kisses, Nim only had... a very slight experience with such contact. It was only two different people he had touched more than once in such a way, and both were... painful now. They were really... painful... and this new, sudden kiss stirred up his memories.

Nim stood with his hands over his face, breathing deliberate and posture rigid. "I'm okay," he whispered a few times, calming his memories. However, after only a few moments, those hands were gone again. In their place were cheeks redder than strawberries and a baffled, amused, inexplicably warm expression.

"To answer your question before, I'm okay..." Nim began, but then he started laughing. "God... I meant to show me over time, stupid!" But the insult had no bite at all. Nim was smiling. He was smiling that strange, foreign, loved smile that he hadn't worn in a very long time, and he wasn't mad at all.

Nim's laugher died into a bout of small giggles, his face still red and his lips still grinning. However, as he processed Jeff's previous words, his eyes took on a somewhat solemn gleam. "By the way, you aren't a horrible person, Jeff," Nim said, picking his words carefully. "I know what horrible people are like, and... We might have had some rough times, but they're forgivable. I forgive you for them, and... I'm sorry too. Its just... Everyone has flaws, Jeff. That doesn't make you terrible."

Honestly, Nim wasn't sure where that little speech came from. Wasn't he earlier lamenting on how terrible Jeff was? Why such a 180...? Maybe it was just something about apologies and forgiveness. And attractive people. And honesty.

And also an admittedly nice person comparing themselves to a terrible one, like Hitler or Stalin or... In Nim's perspective, his dad. Whatever the case, Nim was usually an honest guy, and that wouldn't change over past things that had been forgiven.

Forgiven, because Nim was too naive when it came to affection and he knew it.

But maybe that would be okay this time...?

Nim felt like he was on Cloud Nine from everything happening. He knew that, by the end of the day, pessimism and doubt would overtake his mind, but for now... He just wanted this happiness. So, Nim smiled again, reaching out to take Jeff's hand once more. "Take it slow, okay? Slowly... because I'm..." scared, "...so... If that's okay... then dinner is to. I'd love that."

Nim's small, careful, hopeful little smile was blinding, and for the first time in forever, it was real.

He just wanted to believe.

@MARIE

[This turned out so loooong... Also, just to clarify, he didn't actually say 'scared'. It was just an implied word, as I see that's easy to look over now. >~<]