Looking Out

Nitar wnet up the stairs to the tower looking like she was hurryed to get up there. Her head seemed to be pounding as she fled up the stairs, and her head was full of thoughts that she could not answer. She had been at the academy for less then a week and already she's been in the library over a dozen times but she hasn't found anything she wanted. Nothing explained what she is, and the teachers don't seem to care. Nitar stumbled on the stairs but caught herself using her wings to balance herself. She was near the top to the room of the tower.

"Leave me alone! leave me alone!" She whispered as she went up and up the soiraling stairs. They make theses things to high, she thought angrily, and sort of panicky as if someone was following her. Soon she bursted through the partly opened door. She wasn't panting after running up the stairs, she was always running she never really pants anymore. She looked around the room ignoring the girl by the window and look at the doorway and sighed with releif as if glad about something, then did she turned to the girl. "Who are you?" She asked.

Nitar smiled happyily, and she brushed her long light blue hair out of her eyes and behind her ears showing her icy blue eyes. "My name's Nitar, I think." Nitar said looking confused for a bit then her look seemed to fade to a frighten look and her smile left and she looked at the doorway. "I thought they were following me, they always do, they never leave me alone till I run." She answered the girl.

"And no, I'm not ok, I never will be, not intill I know who I am and what I am." She said looking back at the girl again, her eyes looking confused again but replace by a joyous like glint and a smile formed on her lips again. "What are you doing up here alone?" She asked.

Nitar was smiling, happy to meet more people here at the academy. Her wings shifted behind her back spreading out then refolding behind her back. "Exploring. I like to explore, I think it's fun to find new places, outside and inside. But I have not been outside much during the little time I remember." She said happyily but also sort of sad. But she soon grew happeir again. Today her moods seem to change alot but what would you expect from someone who went crazy not knowing who they are. Nitar looked past October and through the winder watching some black birds fly around the towers.

"Yes I did find my way up here also, too." She said laughing a bit, and she didn't seem to care that October said some thing about the things that Nitar said was following her. "There merely spirits." She whispered. "But then again what do I know anymore?" She added. The spirits she says they are, seem to only be in her head, but she doesn't know, and is afraid to find out about it.

"It's a lovly day out today."She said softly, not caring about what she said just a bit ago. She took a step closer to the window, looking tempted to go and jump out of the window and fly around but she held herself still for now, not wanting to go out into the world at this moment.

"Dangerous!" Nitar said lauighing. "Everything out there in dangerous! Everything is!" She said loudly and anger flared in her eyes, then she turned her head to the little girl. Nitar turned away from October, looking around the room again, and soon she saw a web and walked over to it and picked out the spider holding it by its legs. "What I mean about spirits, October." She said using the girl's name. "Is the dead, that walk this world, and they follow me, they always do, when I sleep, when I stare in the world." She said dropping the spider on the floor then smashing it under her boot.

A manaic glint was showing in her eyes as she moved her foot and looked at the spider that she crushed. Her gaze looked up at October. "These spirits I see, maybe aren't even real, but maybe they are, I don't remember, I don't remember my past, and it makes me go crazy, I want to know who I am, but no, the old man refused to take me to the cabin I lived in, he only told me the Hunters are looking for me, so I don't know if these spirits are real. But they seem real." She her voice rised.

Hmm, what is real and what isn't? How would I know this, but it does not matter, as long as I'm here to find out it doesn't matter, she thought to herself her gaze out the winder again. "How long have you been here, October?" She asked October, tilting her head towards the girl.

"That's what they all say." Whispered Nitar when October said she was sorry about Nitar not remembering her past. She moved to face the girl, ignoring that she had just smashed a spider. She didn't care if bugs were disgusting, she never really cares, maybe she forgets how, she even forgets to know how to be friends, she feels as if she was just born yesterday, but other then tht she knows alot of other things, why? She has no idea. "I've been here three days." Nitar said trying to remember everything of this new like life she has to live.

She quickly looked towards the door as if she heard something. She stared at the opened door for long moments before looking back at the girl October. Nitar grabbed a couple of her locks of hair and started fiddling with it, like wrapping it around her fingers and then undoing it. This girls nice, not mean, nice, but seems... I don't know, she thought t oherself.

"So, have you been having fun here? I suppose I have been having a bit of fun. I love the lake, it makes me calmer to fly over its water in the evening, or whenever I can escape the classes." Nitar said smiling.