Lets Ruin Things Between Us

Why. Valli could deal with why. Why was tame and understandable. He'd spent years helping others explain their own feelings, and he'd have been a very poor therapist if he couldn't explain his own. It was better than he thought. There was no look of disgust or horror. No this was all you wanted me for. He'd already braced himself for that accusation, but it hadn't come.

"You are an amazing person," Valli said. "People will judge without context, but I saw all the context. I saw how much you cared for your people, the lengths you were willing to go for them. And when you arrived here, you could have sat back and done nothing, your work done, but you didn't. You took up a cause that mattered to you. You fought for it, even though it was out of your depth. You had to learn new ways to fight, with words and without violence, but you did anyway. You have a desire to learn, to know everything, and you never let anyone stop you or get in your way. You don't get discouraged. You-"

Valli stopped, cutting himself off before he started rambling any more than he already was. His cheeks were flushed, embarrassed by his passion for the subject even if he'd admitted something far more embarrassing only moments earlier.

"Relationship here are... very different. Some people feel they cannot live without them, and some people prefer to avoid them entirely. I think books would probably be a better example for you then your time in the wasteland, but they aren't just for sex, and they aren't just for procreation. They are... a bond, I guess."

Valli spoke about relationships a good deal in sessions, but the fact was that he was also out of his depth. He had never really dated as a teenager, for obvious reasons, and as an adult? He simply had other things to do with his time.

Gods, how the hell was he supposed to explain relationships? He'd never really thought about it, but there was no reason for Gask to have learned any of it. He probably got the general idea, but relationships were tricky even for people who lived their entire lives on the island, and Valli tapped his foot as he thought.

In a lot of ways, it was easier. He'd mad similar explanations to patients before, and it was easy to slip into that, to distract himself from the complete lack of response. He didn't know how Gask felt about him, but it was easier to try and explains.

"A safe and healthy romantic relationship is a partnership between two people. It is... to put the needs of someone else above your own needs. To put them first. To make them family, but a family that you choose. For many, there's a physical component of attraction, but the relationship is primarily emotional. To be able to... to lean on one another, and depend on someone, and to know they always have your back. Of course there are a million variations, especially on the island, but that's the general idea of it. To be able to trust someone as much as you trust yourself."

It probably did sound impossible to him. The wasteland was a different place, and that level of trust would be so much more difficult to find than it was in a safe place like Manta Carlos. On Manta Carlos, if it didn't work out you could split up and be on your own. In the wasteland, you might very well end up dead.

"I would be fine with you learning," Valli said, because he obviously was. "I didn't expect you to... well, honestly I expected your reaction to just be a no, but thinking about it, that would be stupid of me. You weren't the type to be certain about things like that, If there's one area where you have the most trouble, its... things like this." Connections with other people. Some things were entirely new to him, writing in blanks, but human relationships were something he was plenty familiar with, and now he had to write over top of it, filling in the empty spaces and writing around things.

Valli visibly cringed as Gask tried to figure out the next step, because he... really didn't know.

"I..." Valli paused, clearly embarrassed, before continuing, "I'm not sure, exactly. I never dated anyone. At all. Normally I guess you would go on dates and see how that works out?" What did one even do for dates? It was all stuff they'd already done anyway, like going out to eat together or going to the movies. Was it going to just be different because they'd said this is a date?

Everything was so serious, even if things had gone mostly well. Gask hadn't rejected him. There was a tentative lets try dating. Valli's emotions were a swirl, oscillating between relief and concern with no pause in between.

So hearing Gask's proclamation lightened the mood quite a bit, and Valli burst out laughing. It took him a few moments to recover, wiping at his eyes as he did.

"You sound like you're considering taking her out back," Valli said. "I think you'd make a good trainer. The scouts aren't much for leadership, since they mostly work solo or in very small groups, but a trainer? That's right up your alley. You're good at organization, and good at leading groups, and... well, I think it goes without saying you have impressive combat skills."

Or maybe not, since Gask's self confidence was awful.