Private Finished I'ma try to swim from something bigger than me

Zora

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She actually had no idea how long she had stayed in the forest. Or how long she had screamed at Tomas's shade, or even how long she had cried afterwards. In fact, Zora had absolutely no idea how she ended up here at all. No memory of whether she had walked here or driven.

She knew that logically she must have walked out of the forest at some point and gone down to the beach, and climbed up onto the rocks that looked and jutted almost directly out over the ocean. She knew that to get to this secluded place that she often came to to think, she'd have had to cross town somehow. But how she had done that this morning, that was still a mystery to her.

Watching the sun rise out of the ocean, seeing the first rays reflecting and glinting like diamonds off the water, Zora felt tears starting to flow again. Anguish, and guilt and self-loathing threatened to surface and choke the very air from her as she thought about all the pain she had caused, and how maybe, just maybe, life would have been better for everyone if she actually never been born. Her very existence she reasoned, using the twisted logic of someone sleep deprived, exhausted and guilt-ridden, had caused her brother to be the monster he was and maybe, if she had never been born, he would have never hurt people, or turned into the awful monster that he had eventually become.

And while Zora thought about this, she walked to the edge and just stared down into the dark water below, watching as the waves crashed against the side of the rocks, the water breaking as it hit, spraying water upwards, feeling mesmerized.

She also wondered how much it would hurt if she actually jumped, and how long it would take to lose consciousness in the cold waters below. Would dying hurt? she wondered. And then, would she even be able to die? Would being immortal keep her from such an endeavor even if she attempted it?

Staring then at the water beyond, Zora finally sat down and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. Then she rested her head on her knees and closed her eyes, listening to the ocean below and the wind around her...finally trying to desperately push away the dark thoughts that had been plaguing her and just wanting to somehow feel normal again.

@Kada
 
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Kada

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Broen had been wandering the foggy, half-remembered shadows of Manta Carlos for days since he had gotten the texts from Celeste. At least they were days for him. His dimension, where he vanished to, time moved more quickly. Much, much more quickly. Eight hours of sleep was a mere eight minutes in the real world.

He had had no idea where to even begin looking for Zora. So he'd just slipped into his own little world and started walking. Hoping he'd catch a glimpse of her. Sleeping when he got tired. Leaving the pocket dimension to get food when he got hungry. It was an exhausting endeavor but it eventually paid off. He found her. In all it took him three, maybe four hours total. He couldn't be sure. But he was another week older than he had been when he started and had facial hair to match his extended time without shaving.

Seeing her on the rocky outcropping, Broen phased back into the real world after watching her for several minutes, which granted was only a few seconds for her. It was like she was in slow motion, but even then he could recognize what she was thinking. He'd done the same thing so many times. Stood on a bridge. A rooftop. A couch with a gun. Beside the rails of an oncoming train. Would death hurt? A question he was more than familiar with.

So he stepped out, far enough away that get didn't startle her and make her fall. Catching his voice in his throat for a moment, Broen called out.

"Zora? Babe? Don't, uh..." No, that was wrong. He started over. "I mean. Can we... talk? About this, I mean."
 

Zora

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Zora heard the more than familiar voice behind her, interrupting her dark thoughts. And just closed her eyes as tears started again and shook her head in quiet dismay. Broen. Oh gods, oh gods... what was she doing, she thought? Was she mad? It was then that she realised how it looked, what she wanted or intended maybe to do, and if she did, who she was leaving behind.

"I am so so sorry," she said, her voice breaking but still not turning around, eyes tightly closed. She didn't even know if Broen had heard her over the wind and the waves. In fact, she didn't even know anymore what she was asking forgiveness for. All she knew is that she had selfishly been going to hurt one of the people she most loved. And she felt so terribly awful for it.
 
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Kada

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"Zora," Broen started, taking a small step towards her. He glanced at her, at the cliff. Had she been going to jump? He felt... well, it was hard to describe. The thought upset him, but not as much as he felt like it should. That was a whole different issue though; one he'd need to deal with later.

"Your aunt texted me," he said plainly. "She was worried. And that got me worried. You should-" do what? He didn't know, really. "Come here. What's going on?"
 

Zora

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Zora then looked at Broen when he stood next to her, she had a stricken and dismayed look on her face. "I.. I am so sorry," she said softly, her voice a whisper as she reached out to him.

"I wasn't going to jump," she confessed weakly as she turned towards him and walked up to him and leant her head against his chest. "I don't want to die, but I am just so tired of everything lately." she finally admitted.
 

Kada

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"Well I figured you weren't," Broen said softly, putting his hand on the back of Zora's head gently. "Tired of everything though?"

Broen felt that. He could empathize with that. Ever since Fredrick had been confirmed on the island, he'd considered killing him and then himself. He hadn't only because he knew that that would mean Fredrick would win. He'd have gotten to be remembered as a hero.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly, stroking her hair. "You can talk to me."
 

Zora

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Closing her eyes, Zora finally relaxed somewhat and buried her face against his warm chest, breathing in his scent and taking comfort in it. "I went to the bonfire last night," she told him tiredly, having forgotten she had seen him very briefly that evening.

"And I saw Tomas there, mocking me..." she said, her voice cracking as she felt a lump in her throat, "I shouldn't have called him up, I should have let him move on," she told Broen quietly, ashamed of what she had done.

"It just brought everything to the surface... it doesn't matter what I do, I still feel so bad, guilty, ashamed of what I did to everyone... I thought Forest Respite would help, but it di-..." her voice trailed softly as tears threatening to fall again, making her shut her eyes tighter to try to stop them.
 
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Kada

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Broen just held Zora close for a bit. This was what you did, right? Just hold them. Let them talk. And reassure them once they got it all out? He honestly wasn't sure. Broen had never really dealt with much in the way of emotional support, either giving or receiving. So he rubbed her back while she spilled out all these emotions.

He opened his mouth to speak when she finished. Or was she finished? She just kind of cut off. Yeah, he'd take this as an opportunity to speak. "You haven't given it enough time. You just started that place up what? Like a month ago. Shit takes time, Zora."

He kissed the top of her head and frowned. She was torn up about her piece of shit brother. He didn't get that. He was trash, so throw him away like it. "You can't blame yourself for the shitty things he did. That'd be like me blaming myself for fuckin' Crawford. It doesn't make any goddamn sense."
 

Zora

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"I know that. I do, " she said quietly finally looking up at him, finding his presence comforting, "But, I still feel bad about all the people that were hurt, families that were affected. I should have listened to you, I shouldn't have ever lied to the police..." she sighed tiredly as she wrapped her arms around his waist just wanting to be near him.

"I still have nightmares about that day," she told him, never having admitted this to him and not sure he was even aware her sleepless or restless nights. "And when the police called and said he was dead, I was just so relieved, glad he was gone. How horrible is that? I was happy, he was dead..." she told him slightly horrified at this.
 

Kada

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"I mean. Nothing would make me happier than Gallant killing himself. So I can't... I'm not the person to tell you it's horrible. I'm fucked up, babe. But I also know you don't owe him your pity or your affection, even when he's dead."

Broen set his jaw and lifted her face so their eyes would meet. "You don't know that bitch anything. Especially not this. Not being fucking miserable because of him."
 
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