I Only Followed You A Bit

"Sounds kinda dumb though," Valentine muttered under his breath; he wouldn't have meant for Auden to hear it but he could have said it a little louder than he should. "I mean to say assuming everyone's done for good. That one sounds dumb to me. It sounds like you've basically given up. Why bother meeting new people then?"

Valentine didn't let him answer and continued to talk. He didn't want to hear his response just yet. The thing was, Valentine wasn't very upfront about his younger days since moving to Manta Carlos but something about what Auden said struck a nerve. Valentine never met his eyes as he continued: "For the record; I probably didn't grow up as most kids either. My parents isolated me from the town for the first half of my life and shit just went down on the later half. Orphanage kids called me out for being a freak with no childhood or whatever so I beat them up. I got in trouble for it like I was the one who started it all. There's no rules; there's just shitty people who take advantage of everything."

Only after the word vomit did he realize he'd just said more than he would have preferred. Oops? Quietly, he said, "You weren't supposed to hear that. I was supposed to say 'sorry for having to deal with that kind of narrowminded bs in your life.'"

If it was possible for Valentine to turn red as a tomato, he wouldn't be able to tell since he could never feel the warmth of his blood rushing to his cheeks. Absentmindedly, he rubbed the side of his cheeks, trying to hide the blush from his embarrassment. If that wasn't bad enough, he could almost see the discomfort (?) on Auden's face after his stupid word vomit. Why was he this terrible? "I didn't say anything; forget I said anything."

Valentine kept eyes just glued to the ground they were walking instead of meeting Auden's for a while, mulling over his words in his mind. It wasn't that it made no sense but he guesses he just had a different sort of... abnormal life compared to him. When he finally looked up to him, his face was contorted into a frown. "Well, I mean moving to Manta Carlos taught me I can do what I want, and fitting into some dumb stereotype is a load of bull. and I have a better chance of find people who get me so I'm sticking with that. No one has a say on what I want to be and if some people can't take me for what I am, then that's their issue because I'm just trying to live my life here and now. What's your excuse?"

In all honesty, behind Valentine's grim expression, he was... dying inside, just a little. He was mad at himself for vomiting out words fueled by all his frustration more than once in front of Auden. He turned his heard forward, avoiding eye contact as he waited to be corrected for some reason, despite the fact that at the back of his mind he knew enough that he wasn't really wrong and they were clearly agreeing on something.

When he'd heard Auden's voice, he'd almost jumped, only getting away with his shoulders stiffening from the sound of it. Bracing for it, Valentine almost wanted to close his eyes, Oh boy, here it comes. And yet it didn't. Surprise was on his face hearing Auden say nothing past agreement; no counterargument whatsoever. It should have been expected.

Valentine opened his mouth once to speak but he had no words. Finding it in him to revert to his more usual mood, the second try gave him better luck, "Obviously," he began, lightly kicking Auden for sounding so glum. It was a playful gesture for Valentine, but he'd never really accounted how others took it. Regardless, he did so anyway. "So stop being gloomy and depressing about it. To hell with the system! Live like it's your last and fuck over everyone who has a problem with that!"

Valentine wasn't about to say seeing him grin hitched his breath. He wouldn't say it, to himself or anyone at all. It was just a simply response, he told himself, he was overwhelmed with nervousness just now. It was nothing special. He wished could say that again and again.

Too caught up in his thoughts, his reaction slowed. He didn't get to swat off Auden before he took hold of his hand and he could have sworn he felt a quick jolt run up his hand. Smothering the thought away, Valentine just kept his head up. "Psh, that wasn't anything," he said, not even thinking of trying to pull his hand back as he would have normally.

Valentine took a deep breath, taking quicker steps ahead so he could hide his face from Auden, unconsciously holding onto his hand as he did. "I mean why are we even talking about this, you brought me out for ice cream not some... whatever that was! Let's just go."