How could I have known?

Kada

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Sam's breath hitched as Bel spoke, the subtle niggling fear he'd begun to spin growing with each word she spoke. He pressed his forehead into his hand, fighting back the tension that was building between his eyes. That feeling like you were going to cry or sneeze or something but you just couldn't get it out. He spoke up, his voice shaky as he continued her story.

"A-and your brother would always say how much he hated the clams, so he'd give you extra. But really... really he knew how much you liked them and that was why h-he gave them to you."

His breath was uneven now as his hands slid over his mouth in an attempt to hide himself. He couldn't look Bel in the eyes. "B-Bel... is your brother y-your... twin? And is h-his name Cai?"
 

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"How did you know all of that?" Bel asked Sam, her voice odd now as she looked at him rather suspiciously. She was sure she had never told Sam about her brother or her love of clams or even that she was a twin, and especially not her brother's name. She had never told anybody her twin's name, that she had kept close to her heart.

"Sam?" Bel demanded after a second, putting her wine glass down on the table, her hand gripping the stem of the glass tightly, as she noticed his awkward body language and the weird energy surrounding them.

"How did you know about Cai? Where you, I dunno, using your godsight on me or something?" Bel asked in hushed tones, not sure what was happening here, but her own intuition and fear were starting to build to very high and uncomfortable levels.
 

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Sam suddenly slammed his open hand down on the table, only barely catching himself so it wasn't loud enough to cause a disturbance. The look on his face flashed between frustration and fear as he finally forced himself to meet Bel's gaze.

"Bel... don't... don't be fuckin' daft. We're the same age, wi' th' same birthday. Both from the Isle o' Man. Ye 'ad a twin brother named Cai. I 'ad a twin sister named Alanna. Th' name ye used at th' Masquerade. Gods, I'd nearly forgotten tha' name..."

He didn't want to say it out loud, even with himself keeping his voice a low, hisses ng whisper. Saying it out loud, admitting to what he knew now, it would've been too much for him. Sam shut his eyes, trying his best to fight back tears. The Druids had told him that tears we're best saved, for shedding them over every little thing would devalue them.
 

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Bel actually jumped a little in her seat, not at all expecting Sam's reaction. Glaring at him, she reacted angrily. Not sure why he was calling her daft.

"What do you mean? I am not being dense..." she retorted in a low voice as she looked at him in confused anger, she had not pieced all the pieces of the puzzle yet. Because, unlike Sam, she only saw the similarities of their birthday, both being Welsh - which was sort of normal in her mind since they were both Celtic gods. She didn't know all his powers, or where he was from exactly, and had just assumed he was scrying something in her past until he mentioned a sister, a twin sister named Alanna.

"Wh-what?" she breathed in suddenly, going pale, very pale as she stared at Sam and the pieces, the odd questions he was asking her, suddenly and abruptly fell into place.

"No, no, no, you can't be..." she whispered in quiet disbelief, shaking her head now, starting to understand what this meant. "No, Sam ... you are wrong. You have to be..." Bel continued looking at him pleadingly, not wanting to believe what he was telling her. It had to be a cruel joke, no?
 

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"Ye think this is a cruel joke or somethin'? What would I gain by pullin' yer leg like this? Yer name was Alanna weren't it? And me name was Cai. I... Gods we... no, I..." Sam was trembling now, his eyes locked on the table. He couldn't look at her. They'd slept together. They'd kissed. He'd tried to-

"Al-" no. He couldn't say her name. Not her real one. He started again. "Bel I... I'm so sorr-" No! Sorry wasn't good enough. All the color drained from his face. He wanted to leave but his legs wouldn't let him. Why did it have to be this?
 

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"I, Sam, I... never said you w-were joking..." Bel stammered softly and in disbelief as her voice trailed off, hurt when he snapped at her. Feeling tears slowly starting to form in her eyes, she quickly tried to blink them away.

"No..." Bel said shaking her head, her voice a hoarse whisper after Sam had spoken, "No, do not apologise," she managed, almost choking on the last word as she gripped her napkin tightly. It was not his fault. He didn't know, she didn't know. How could they have known?

Not sure what else to say, Bel looked down at her hands as they wrung the napkin, and saw the ring Sam had given her, and what it symbolized, and almost broke down completely as she finally realised that everything she wanted and loved were being ripped away from her - again.

Pushing her chair back suddenly, and in anger, Bel stood up from the table, dizzy now as tears clouded her eyes. "I can't stay here, Sam..." she said, stifling a sob as she grabbed her coat.

"This is a sick joke our gods are playing, and I ..." here she stopped as she looked at Sam, now visibly hurt and angry. Bel literally had no idea what she was going to do, but it probably involved a big bottle of alcohol and maybe a snowbank, she thought spitefully.

"I am not fucking playing it anymore..." she declared furiously as she turned around and grabbed her purse, not waiting for Sam.
 
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