Hawaii Trip: we're at the beach but we're not swimming with the fishes

"Yeah fuck my mom who even needs her! She kicked me out and everything I didnt even do anything bad!"

Artesia slammed her hands down on the bar and started beating on it like a drum.

"Lemme tell you what fuck fire to! That shits hot!"

Artesia said her joke and hoped that everyone that had gathered around them would get it, it made her laugh a lot in her head.

"Haa, I get it," Chloe said after Artesia's joke, but even in her drunk state it seemed kind of insincere. She was trying to be polite to her elf friend.

Now Mal and Eliana were coming in and trying to tell her what she should or could be doing instead of sitting here and getting dangerously drunk. Only once Eliana mentioned vomit did Chloe remember that throwing up was a side effect of drinking too much, so there went that idea.

"Well, I... I guess I can stop drinking now at least." She leaned on Eliana. "I don't wanna throw up and Im probably already blacked out. But I already cried it out on the way over here. And I almost killed everyone by punching a hole in the plane." Her eyes were welling up. "It wouldn't be the first time that day someone would die because of me fucking up. I keep thinking I could have saved her if I got to her sooner or said the right shit. I keep running through it all in my head. I wish I was dead so I'd stop feeling like this."

She let out a long, shaky breath.

Dorito reached over and put a hand on Chloe. She was a bit shaky too, having finished her drink and snatched a few other shots from god-knows-where while everyone was talking. She hated seeing Chloe like this, she hated being like this. Dorito smiled and immediately pulled Chloe over to her and hugged her mercilessly. "Stop talking like that, you," Arguably moreso than Chloe, Dorito was feeling dead and empty inside. It could've been some freak side effect of the glamour, it could've been the booze, and it could've been the possible, inevitable truth she was fighting to deny, but she couldn't feel her sister, that intangible half of herself.

Dorito simply cradled Chloe's head in her arms and softly pet her hair, holding her close. "You don't get to talk like that, it's just the booze talking." She gave a big, almost goofy grin to everyone else as she hugged Chloe, her eyes now brown from the glamour making her look more like a human. "Shouldn't all of you be out dancing or playing seven minutes in heaven or something? I got a hot girl to hug here!"

Mal would grit his teeth, yeah, he knew grief, and he knew that feeling all too well, but he was going to be damned if he wasn't going to say anything. He'd drop the coin he was fiddling with, it dissolving into a few blue petals, his gaze turning to Chloe, a cold intensity sitting behind them.

His voice was grave but there were emotions just at the edges of it, "Yeah, what if you ran faster, or told them not to go, or did this or did that. It's inconsequential and as far as I'm concerned no one nearby can turn back time."

"Death is all too prevalent in daily life, whether you knew them or not. And it doesn't matter what you did that day, as long as you weren't that very person who pulled the trigger or drove the car or swung the knife, there's no reason to blame yourself. You may cry more, you may hit people, you may go on a rampage or sit in your shower and drink a bottle of tequila." He did all of this and more, practically recalling his actions after the incident.

Mal would tighten his hands into fists, a hint of pain in his voice. "But don't, and I mean don't choose self destruction." His tone would soften, but the intensity in his words wouldn't leave them. "You have friends and family who care about you, who are here for you, rely on them, cry on them, tell them stories of the good times and the bad and let everything all out. Because holding it all in and blaming yourself doesn't do crap other than create more pain and anguish than there was to begin with."

"That old cliche about time healing wounds, it's a fact, believe me, I've got an occupied hospital bed reminding me of my mistakes." His voice breaking ever so slightly at the mention of it, his eyes going distant as if he could see that place. "If you let these feelings fester then it'll only get worse." Mal repeated his main point in an attempt to make sure it was heard. He'd give a soft sigh looking down at the bar with no more words.

Chloe soaked in everything everyone was saying to her, quiet, but seeming to get more and more agitated as everyone kept on with their heartfelt messages. By the time Eliana was done talking, she'd had enough.

"Holy fuck, you guys." she slurred. "I'm... I'm not actually going to kill myself. I'm just saying I feel so shitty right now that I'd rather be dead. Which..." She snorted. "Fuck. Does that even make sense? I'm not a... a kill self. A suicider. I won't do the bad thing."

She leaned back in her chair and yawned. "I might just want to, like, watch netflix with someone and chill out. Literally. Literally just sitting around and watching netflix. I'm not feeling all this sex and drugs and partying right now like I thought I would."

Dorito didn't stop hugging Chloe. "Dibs." She kept the grin on. In truth she wanted out just as bad and this was just what she needed; the perfect reason to leave the party but not wander off completely alone. How the fuck was she gunna deal with this when the booze wore off? How'd she cope? How'd she go on? It'd be best if Dorito kept close to Chloe for now. She was in a real bad state and might even try to make some awful mistakes without supervision. She gave a lewd grin and waggled her eyebrows at 'netflix and chill' then gave an exaggerated pout of disappointment at the affirmation of literal Netflix and chill.

"Oh well, we can throw on something cool and just relax. We're in Hawaii. I never thought I would've been here! I grew up in the Black fucking Forest!" People turned to look at the loud girl who claimed to come from the backwoods of Germany but had no trace of a German accent, taking note of how she was snuggling up to her friend a bit too much at this point. Dorito was pretty drunk after all, and even drunk and depressed Dorito was Dorito.

Artesia threw her fists into the air. "Wooo movie night!!!". She didnt watch a lot of movies, she usually preferred to read books, but she was really really drunk, and it was easier to watch a movie than to read a book while intoxicated.

"Can I come? Ill watch movies with you guys, I freaking love you guys."