Frustration

Alex let out a loud and annoyed sigh as she laid down on one of the couches nearest the television. Resting her head on the arm rest she rolled onto her side and stared at the television and taped her hand on her up turned thigh and concentrated. The tv quickly turned on and she began to flip through the channels using her telekinesis to change the channels.

It had been a rough couple of weeks for Alex, and it was beginning to show on her mood. She had discovered her telepathy seems to be getting harder and harder to keep in check, and what little ability she did have to control it seemed to ebb and flow with that damn menstrual cycle.

Worst of all her forth roommate Alice had left the school with no notice. That had hit Alex particularly hard. She was was rather fond of Alice. She had told her about her rather embarrassing secret and shockingly enough she had accepted her despite it. Or at least she thought she did, now Alex wasn't so sure. Alice's departure had hit her pretty hard, just as Alex was beginning to get used to being a girl, hell she was almost liking it, that happened. Every part of Alex wished the last few months had been just a really bad dream. She would wake up tomorrow back in her bed at a guy and not hearing the thoughts of every idiot around her. Not this stupid little body with it's squeaky little voice.

Sighing again stopped telekineticly channel surfing, nothing was on. Her life was such a joke.

Alex was quite surprised when someone else came and sat down on the couch with her. She figured her ever-present aura of gloominess would keep any reasonable person at a distance. Down her body at him sitting at her feet and frowned, this time last year she would have been tall enough to take up the entire couch. Stupid tiny body, she complained as she mentally tried to stretch herself out, maybe one day I'll get a growth spurt and hit six feet again.


She did eye the boy curiously once she dismissed the complaints in her mind about her body for another time. There was something defiantly a little off about him and it wasn't just the physical features. She had been at this school long enough to see some truly strange physical features weirdly colored eyes and brightly red hair didn't phase her much anymore. It was his mind that was weirding her out. It she couldn't place her finger on it simply by reading his surface thoughts, but he just seemed somewhat detached to her.

“Meh.” Alex said in a deceptively sweet tone as she sat up on the couch, her back to the arm rest she was just using as a rather terrible pillow and pulled her legs up so she could rest her chin on her knees and rest her arms in front of her. “Sometimes I wonder if I really am.” She said absently. After all how did she know she was even really herself she could just be some failed lab experiment. The real her, the him, could be at home right now while she was dumped here to be forgotten. Alex knew that theory was complete BS but still right now part of her wished it was true. It would mean that her life wasn't taken from her and this is really where she was meant to be and her life wasn't cruelly taken from her by some crazy scientist. “IT would make sense.” Alex added not realizing she said that out loud.

Alex rolled her eyes as she listened to the red haired boy speak and introduce himself. She had to admit she didn't really believe what he was saying and was prepared to blow him off as nothing but a weirdo when he apologized for going on. Names? What names she had her name now for a few months now yes everyone still called her Alex but her name has been changed, hell even the way people say it seems to exude softness now. Body's and minds well she had already lost her the former and is feeling like every day she is loosing more and more of the latter. And soul? What soul, yes she knew just thinking that was probably making her very catholic mother cry a little bit on the inside but what did she care about that now she hadn't seen any evidence that there is anything anyone has that can even be called a soul.

She did have to cock an eyebrow at the boy now, Hotaru Kemikaza? Was he Japanese? With red hair and those glowy weird eyes, yeah okay that was a little more strange now that she realized that. What is he from the emerald Japanese isle, Alex wondered and almost, almost cracked a smile.

“Then let me ask you this Hotaru.” Alex finally said after several long moments of trying to dismiss what he was saying before it finally bugged her enough to speak up. “How can your name be what you are?” She added unintentionally confrontational. “Names can be changed or forgotten or altered...” So can bodies and minds she added silently knowing all too well how true that one was.

Alex cringed when he called her girly. It felt like an emotional kick in the stomach or her now non-existent nuts. As much as she knew she was one and everyone else knows her as one it still felt rather uncomfortable to be identified as or called a girl. It was just so strange for her even now.

“Alex,” She finally said, “Everyone calls me Alex. My name is Alexande-rrr-dra. Alexandra.” She said catching her mistake and wincing. “It's the name I was given by my parents,” Thanks to an insane scientist she added silently, “Not exactly my choice.” She added ruefully. But that was another thing she just thought of her parents call her Alex everyone calls her Alex and even if she suddenly wanted to change she doubted anyone would actually call her anything but Alex. Especially her father, but that was a topic for another time.

As she noticed the rather odd boy try and worm his way out of the she glanced at the TV and wondered if it was distracting him. “No I'm not bored.” S he said only half true and telekinetically unplugged the TV, thinking it was ester than trying to telekinetically turn it off. “Go on.” She said waiting to see what more he had to say.

“You might as well just call me Alex.” She shrugged everyone else does and right now she wasn't in much of a mood right now to run around changing her name again or picking something else to be called. Part of her felt that that would finally be admitting defeat that she will be stuck like this forever. And she just didn't have the psychological fortitude at the moment to admit it then.


She did listen with some interest as he explained his philosophy on life. Nodding and shrugging at certain points along the way. As interesting as his theories on telepathy were she couldn't really agree with them, they just went against everything she experienced with the subject as a psychic. Not that it is really his fault it's something she knew he had very little first hand experience with. He was like some blind person describing Van Gogh or a deaf person listening to The Beetles.

“Meh,” She shrugged as Hotaru asked who turned off the TV, she probably could have spoken up but it seemed more amusing to leave him in the dark about it. “I don't really agree with that sentiment. All we are is animated meet being kept fresh by a bunch of electrical impulses in our brain. Everything else to me is just perception and a quirk of the mind we are too limited to perceive.” She paused again taking a deep breath as she considered what she just said. Did she really believe that whole hardheartedly? “Not to belittle our lives or make things seem insignificant.”