For a Friend

Xavier looked down again, his arms crossed as he did so. “I never blamed you for being angry. You had the right. I was never upset at you.” His fingers tapped against his arms, and his shoulders shook ever so slightly. The words he spoke weren’t lies, but they still had every piece of emotion in them. “I just... I dropped the ball so bad, and I regretted it so much. I never blamed you or anyone else leaving because I was an unfair jackass with how I acted.”

In a way, he would still believe himself to be like that. He had lied to his friends’ faces for months about how he felt. But he hoped he could repay it all. “I don’t deserve the people who stuck by my side. Diego stayed with me even after what he heard, Xarrah dealt with all the bullshit I caused, Marissa...” A newer name to the list of people he considered a friend. Well, not exactly a friend. “She had even heard about what had happened before she met me, but she still decided to be my friend.” A very slight lie, but not a particularly noticeable one since he did consider her a friend... just a bit more than that as well.

After he tapped his fingers nervously a few moments longer, he turned to look at Angelo again. “But... I missed talking to you. You were one of the first people I considered a friend after... everyone else was gone with Halcyon. Before I found Dani and Diego again.” He smiled ever so slightly. It faltered a bit when he remembered their falling out. “Well... I’ve rambled about myself enough I think. How has things been? With Alma, Broen, your team, school? I never stopped caring, if I’m honest... it’s why I didn’t want to bother you.” Xavier dropped his arms from where they had been crossed, so he could raise one to rub the back of his neck.

Xavier had tried to pay attention to people’s faces after Marissa and Diego had (jokingly) called him a bit dense. He certainly wasn’t the smartest, but he considered himself a people person. A people person who couldn’t even read people to a basic extent wouldn’t exactly be a good people person. Xavier saw the frown, but hoped it was just because Angelo hadn’t met her. The frown was a confused frown, rather than... something else. But for a little bit of fear it could cause an argument, Xavier decided he wouldn’t press about it.

“Didn’t Broen always call you boy scout? Guess it’s a bit more literal now then?” Xavier grinned a little as he tried to inject some humour into the conversation. It was what helped him with most aspects of his life. “In all seriousness, it sounds like it’d suit you. I’m glad you’ve got a goal in mind.” He pulled a friendly smile, and truly would be happy that Angelo seemed to have everything sorted.

Xavier could question the hesitation when it came to Broen, sure. He didn’t know the situation with Broen, and didn’t even have the remotest guess with him possibly having the situation. But simply put, Xavier didn’t feel the need to question further when Angelo said ‘Broen is Broen’ because it was decently self explanatory. Despite the fact Xavier never knew Broen that well, the brief interactions he had with him made Xavier feel that he didn’t really need to understand specifics when it came to Broen. “Seems like everything is alright with you at the moment, then.”

Xavier laughed a bit at the exasperated Angelo. It had just occurred in his head since they’d mentioned Broen, so the nickname rang a bell for Xavier. “I wish you luck with it. I think he’ll be worst than I am with the joke.” He flashed a teasing smile at Angelo.

At the mention of graduation, Xavier would usually drop any cheerful act. What came after school genuinely scared him. He didn’t feel ready. It still felt surreal for him that he was legally an adult. Sure as hell didn’t feel like one. But on this occasion... “I’ve got a decent idea actually. I spoke to some people at the places I volunteer at, and one place said they’d be able to take me on. Provided I do a part-time job on the side, I’d be good. They even offered to recommend me so I’d have an easier time landing somewhere.” Xavier spoke pretty happily. It had become an idea only recently, and it had been amazing to hear the idea could be a real possibility. Of course, him and everyone else knew it would hopefully be temporary until Xavier had a stronger direction in life.

Xavier couldn't help but chuckle. He'd probably feel awkward around Angelo for quite a while longer, but for now, he almost forgot that they hadn't talked in months. It did feel like he had just been catching up with a friend. Xavier missed that kind of feeling. "Well hopefully him poking you about it won't send you to an early grave or something before you even get the chance to become a scout." He offered a sympathetic smile.

He had to think for a moment. Angelo wouldn't be wrong about the dog walking part, since an animal shelter had been the first place Xavier volunteered at. It also being the one that said they'd employ him. But, he'd likely continue doing his other volunteering since it did give him some fulfilment anyway. "Well, I volunteered at a few places. Animal shelter is usually the first one that comes to my mind since it was the first place I volunteered at, and they're the ones who said they'd take me on. Lot of generic 'walk dogs at this time' but it's also just playing with animals, keeping them company or calming them down, cleaning, feeding. All of that." Xavier spoke like he truly cared about it. He'd always liked animals, but never really grew up around them except when he was very young. His family had a dog while he was small. But the size of his family meant they couldn't really look after any pets.

Xavier thought about it. Even while he was a villain, he never particularly felt like he wasn’t a kid. Probably because he never took it seriously, or had been in as bad spots as others who came to the island. But what made it hard for Xavier to deal with school was his past delinquent lifestyle, the issues from the end of the world, plus the prank.

This would all be internal thoughts. “Well, guess you’re not wrong. I personally have just never been much for school, you know? I’m channelling myself into getting a job and it’s a good feeling.” Xavier smiled with a nod. “Also, guess I’m trying to be more of an adult since I’m raising Dani.” Raising a child meant he wanted to try and be a better role model. He had to be, so Dani could be better than him. She had the potential to be a wonderful and smart person...

“It does make sense, though. I think a lot of us stopped being kids when we came to the island.” It was just his thought on the matter.