feeling blue (butterscotch)

@"CourageCureRage"

"Thank you..." Teddy sobbed. He had to keep up the sad for a little while longer - it was a common rookie mistake in the thespian arts to break character too early. If he did that, not even the most oblivious soul would stay silent. He wiped his nonexistent eyes with an arm and sniffed some more, drying his tears. "Look, I'm - I'm going to be helpful. I'm not going to just stay and freeload here - I can do a lot of stuff cause I - well - uh... lived a messed-up life, and now I'm also living a messed-up death. Hahaha... isn't it weird..?"

One last sob and Teddy was back to a more disheveled but normal state. He couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty lying to this person, who as far as he could tell had the sincerity of a saint and the - stop that, Teddy, that's not nice, he thought. Also, he thought to himself, desperate times need desperate measures.

"Just - just think of me as a glowing blue housekeeper if you want. I'll probably be out a lot anyway to try and... figure out what to do, but if you need help I... just - just let me know."

@"CourageCureRage"

Teddy nearly gagged on his egg and had to rush over to the sink, sputtering and coughing. "Wait. You... don't? Two centuries and you've never met a housekeeper?" Against his will, Teddy's false sadness was replaced with utter disbelief. What sort of life did you lead to not ever meet a housekeeper? he asked himself internally.

Then he asked externally, "What sort of life did you lead to not ever meet a housekeeper?"

Shaking his head very, very slowly, Teddy went off to the fridge and pulled out bacon - real bacon. It made his mouth drip mana inside, as the most he'd had in the way of meat recently was that hotdog from a convenience store, and no matter what anyone said, that was not meat, it was a disgrace.

"So, should I - how do you want me to get this bacon done? I - do I just fry it, or do you want me to get creative? Also, I'll look into the plumbing later... I'll try fixing it up myself instead. You know, less pressure."

@"CourageCureRage"

"...huh." Teddy nodded in disappointment at the entirely unoriginal treatment of bacon. Still, he couldn't complain at this person - man - woman - thing - entity who gave him a place to live. Though a bit sullen, he prepared the bacon as instructed, ending up with a decent, if in his opinion bland breakfast plate.

"Nearly got molested. I had a friend who almost got molested once. It... didn't end well. For the molester." Teddy nodded his head gravely, imagining the scene. That "poof" wasn't helpful for accurate imagery, to say the least, but the imagined scene ended up being adorably cartoonish, so he let it be. It gave him a light fit of the giggles, and he nearly choked. Thankfully, he had the presence of mind to make his throat non-solid, but the bacon ended up falling onto his lap from his neck. "Excuse me for just one second."

After cleaning up, Teddy went back to the table to try and eat some more.

"Say Teddy, I'm sorry but I think I'd need you to take your things away from the basement after you eat."

Teddy sputtered, sending bacon phasing through his throat and chin and various other parts of his digestive tract into his plate. He drew back and sighed, his fork and knife clattering onto the plate as he raised his hands. "No - no, that's it, I'm done eating. I don't think either of us would like seeing food going through a man-ghost's throat, so I am just going to put this away, and try not to mess up anything else."

His hands scooped up the mess on his side of the table, and as he set it down on the sink, trying to figure out where the partially-digested food should go, he asked, "...what do you mean?"

@"CourageCureRage"

Teddy had to hunch over the sink, sticking a fork into his throat to scrape out bits of breakfast. He coughed out what he couldn't pry with the fork, and his voice grew a bit hoarse. "At - you could've timed that better. Now I feel bad for the wasted bacon."

He picked up a slice of bacon that was still mildly whole, and put it on the stove. Directly on the fire. After a while, it started to burn and he placed it on the sink, offering a heartfelt prayer. "Your sacrifice was not in vain. I surrender your soul into the smoke as it rises into oblivion. May the winds guide you. I absolve you of your sin and consign you to the blessed light."

It didn't seem to bother him that he was for all intents and purposes burning something in someone else's house, and when it stopped burning, he bowed and turned back to Azza with a wide, expectant grin. "You will not regret this decision! Actually, you probably will, but I'll be helpful. If I'm here. I go out a lot. I can't leave this island though."