[On ConfessionBox.com - a fictional site Hope came up with right now where internet users can vent about their frustration without fear of being exposed in real life.]
Hey guys, I found out about this place today and decided to finally get everything out. I'm a YouTuber who makes videos of me singing and acting online, but ever since I joined a drama club at my local school I feel like I'm no one special anymore. And I get it. I'm not always going to be the best. But performing seems so effortless for these talented kids. It's like they've never had to work for their skills and that they breathe performing arts, and they outshine me by miles. It's really demoralising, and I feel sometimes like I wanna just give up on my career. I mean, even if I move back to my hometown I don't think any of the agencies would still be interested in me since after I moved I lost all my traction and my name disappeared from the screen.
Oh, and the other day I found out the identity of someone who attacked and blackmailed me. I could've died - he could've easily killed me, but when I told him how betrayed and hurt and angry I felt he just... Cried. I couldn't hate him. He looked so pathetic. I wanted to give him a hug and that's what I hate. I can't even bring myself to hold him to these dark and swirling feelings inside me. I probably sound like an extra from some cheesy teen drama like 13 reasons why. But I just... I can't hate him, and that makes me hate him more. I don't want to forgive him, but I don't want to blame him either.
And that makes me hate myself.
From user: ToyotaShine
Hey guys, I found out about this place today and decided to finally get everything out. I'm a YouTuber who makes videos of me singing and acting online, but ever since I joined a drama club at my local school I feel like I'm no one special anymore. And I get it. I'm not always going to be the best. But performing seems so effortless for these talented kids. It's like they've never had to work for their skills and that they breathe performing arts, and they outshine me by miles. It's really demoralising, and I feel sometimes like I wanna just give up on my career. I mean, even if I move back to my hometown I don't think any of the agencies would still be interested in me since after I moved I lost all my traction and my name disappeared from the screen.
Oh, and the other day I found out the identity of someone who attacked and blackmailed me. I could've died - he could've easily killed me, but when I told him how betrayed and hurt and angry I felt he just... Cried. I couldn't hate him. He looked so pathetic. I wanted to give him a hug and that's what I hate. I can't even bring myself to hold him to these dark and swirling feelings inside me. I probably sound like an extra from some cheesy teen drama like 13 reasons why. But I just... I can't hate him, and that makes me hate him more. I don't want to forgive him, but I don't want to blame him either.
And that makes me hate myself.
From user: ToyotaShine