Claustrophobia's Grasp

The bus rocked lightly. Everyone else was relatively calm, they had their own circumstances, but most had ridden a bus before. Seiken however, was not most people. The oddity, even by the standards of this odd place- he had come here because of his now passed adoptive fathers last wish- but it had been beyond a bit of "culture shock". To a boy that had been raised in a cage, and then int he plains of western rural Africa- this place was too loud. Too complicated. But above all else- it was too tight.

Seiken felt like he was being caged in, this bus was too tight. Everything was too tight. Too small. He couldn't get out easily, he couldn't escape when one of them tried to attack him, he couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't. It was never ending anxiety and fear, clawing at his throat- demanding he rip the wall open, flee, escape. He knew he was hyperventilating, but he couldn't slow his breath down, a panic attack. That was the worst thing that could happen to him right now, if he panicked, if he went beyond the barrier, the beast would take over.

Good luck being a hero when he was wanted for manslaughter.

He couldn't halt his breathing, and it was rapidly getting out of control- he wasn't a small person. The people around the massive young man could see him shaking, could hear the metal bending around his hand as his catlike pupil's dilated slowly. This was a school for oddities, however, and one man confidently stepped forward from where he had been watching over everyone- his hand extending to gently take his shoulder. He meant well. But the last thing you did to a wild animal in fear, was try to touch it.

Seiken's hand shot out faster than a snakes strike, superhuman, fearful, well beyond anything a normal human could even dream to dodge. The man made a noise of surprise as those animal-like eyes stared into his own, like a great cat, a predator that had found its prey. His lips curled back, revealing a mouth full of pointed teeth, and saber like fangs. A low hiss extended from his lips, and the man froze- uncertain what he was dealing with suddenly as he felt the massive hand that held him begin to slowly extend claws of a predator. Kill. Kill before he was killed. They were going to hurt him. He could feel it, he knew. No one was going to help him here.

The beast was taking over. Fear. Someone was going to touch him. Hurt him. He heard it, every heartbeat, every breath, he could see the droplets of sweat forming from his pores, his heightened senses increasing his already terrible anxiety tenfold. A small part of him cried for help, for someone to stop him before the beast completely took over. But who was he kidding?

No one ever helped. He didn't deserve help. He was a monster. The only good thing that may come from this was that after it was over after he was coated in blood all over again- they may finally put him out of his misery, and kill him. Something he was too much a coward to do himself.

Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

The words repeated, again and again within his mind as his large hands slowly dug into the steel, the metal bending like paper mache' in his palms as his eyes snapped shut at the hand approaching him. He was going to snap. He couldn't stop it. He couldn't control he fear.

But then- a strong voice filled the air, calling the man an idiot, instructing everyone, there was space. He couldn't hear the heartbeats, he couldn't smell the blood and sweat within their veins and skin. It was .. quiet. Slowly, his breath began to even out- and when he could breathe the rest of the symptoms could slowly fade as his hand slowly, very slowly, unclenched from the metal of the ruined seat.

Slowly, his hands raised upward- and instead covered his head as he slowly lowered his skill. He was sorry. He didn't want to. He didn't want to hurt anyone again, why did he act like this? Why was he so fucked up? He wanted to thank the man, he wanted to say anything- but he could barely move properly. It was as if he moved, even a bit, the beast would return.

He tried to hold back his shivering, he tried to maintain control- anything to help ease his fears and pain. Finally, after many more minutes passed- the last of the waves, began to calm. Slow, careful breaths left his lips, and- shakily, he began to lift his head. His keen vision blurred, too many sudden lights, sounds, designs, they all blurred together. He had to squint his eyes back together in pain.


Still, he tried to focus, he couldn't recall where he was- only that it had nearly released that monster. Squinting against the light, he tried to gather his surroundings once more.

Slow, careful breaths. He had to remain calm. Slowly, his eyes raised- squinting, before his ear twitched- honing in on the sound like a cat as his head spun on the source. Vertical pupils shrinking to slim lines within the brilliant pink and red irises that holstered them. Slowly, a breath left his lips as he slowly relaxed- though he still appeared entirely on-edge, he wat least appeared to be breathing normally now.

".. Yes." he murmured, voice low, barely audible to the normal human ear- even though he could hear it just fine due to his hearing.

Slowly, he let his gaze trail around him- noting the evacuated bus, and instead of appearing guilty, he looked simply; relieved. He hadn't hurt anyone. If he had- there would be blood on him, and he would .. taste it. Thankfully there was no scent or taste of blood, he hadn't hurt anyone. Relaxing, just a bit- his gaze refocused on the man before him. Seiken was terrible at vocal communication- but, when it came to body language, there were few better than him at reading it.

It had been his only form of communication for the first thirteen years of his life, and some- and so he became rather disconcerted when .. he couldn't get a read on the man. His heightened senses picked up- nothing. Practically emotionless, there was no panic, no increased heart rate, no shifts of his muscles due to their tensing, not even a real expression. He was just .. calm. He was completely calm, honestly calm, sitting in front of a monster like him.

He felt his curiosity piqued, but he also realized that due to the situation- there was little chance he would get to ask anything. Slowly, his gaze slid downward as he murmured softly. "I'm sorry." the words were small, earnest, like a child being scolded- depressed, and insecure. He didn't know how to deal with people, especially people here- especially one that was so .. calm, despite having obviously seen a flash briefly of his true nature.

This man was odd. He couldn't read him, much as Havok was unable to read Seiken- it went both ways. Seiken felt on-edge, but he listened to the man's words, and slowly he nodded- it made sense, but he wasn't sure how best to phrase the issue. His brow furrowed and he slowly glanced around him.

".. Loud." he finally murmured, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. "Too many .. heartbeats. Words. Breath." he was speaking a bit clearer, a bit more loudly, but it was still rather quiet as he shifted just slightly in his seat. "Tight. Closed off." he finally finished, the two biggest reasons. This place .. was too tight. He couldn't get away, he couldn't run, he felt cornered.

One phobia, one anxiety, he could handle- but not all of them at once like this bus was doing to him. Slightly he shifted in his seat and he slowly glanced down at the floor. He had told them he didn't mind going on a "tour" but he hadn't realized it would be on a bus. When he had gotten here, he had been effectively just pushed on by the driver who assumed he was just shy.

He couldn't hold it against anyone. It had been his own lack of experience and understanding of this world that led to the situation, and yet .. he really hated the fact he was in it. He didn't want to be here. He was scared. Scared he was going to hurt someone, scared he would lose control. His large hands clenched slightly as he held his arms.

Slowly, Seiken's brow furrowed as he listened to the man- claustrophobic, that sounded familiar- but he couldn't place the word. Hai must have taught it to him, but he couldn't recall the actual definition of the word. Silently, he lamented the lack of knowledge he had of this language- "English", if they spoke French, Chinese, Arabic, Somali, Berber, any number of the other dialects he spoke- life would be so much simpler.

However, the man at the least seemed to understand the situation- and Seiken was stunned at the offer that was being made. Slowly, his head tilted to the side- why didn't he just kick him off the bus ..? That seemed like far to much work, what would the point be? His brow furrowed, however, as he had no arguments, and it would work- if he could just walk then life for him would be far better. He would be able to keep himself in control.

Nodding carefully, his deep, quiet voice filled the air once more. "That .. would work .." he agreed, before straightening slowly- the baggy clothing unable to hide his frame even as he grasped the metal pole, hauling himself up slowly by it. Even with the large bus, and the fact he was slumped over, he was having to lower his head and neck a bit so he didn't scrape his head.

Hands slowly being pushed into his pockets, he averted his eyes to the floor- seeming to be insecure about meeting the gaze of Havok (well anyone really), as he waited for the man to give him an all-clear to get off the bus. He didn't want to cause even more problems for everyone by getting off as someone else was trying to get on, or who knows what else could go wrong if he bumped into someone when he still felt so damn .. trapped.

How could anyone just life in a place like this?