All's fair in love and horses (open)

Poppy

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Mar 18, 2015
3,930
Joker... admitted that while wailing on innocent homeless people was something he'd always wanted to do, he never seriously considered it. It was like — it was like that scene in American Pie where the dude literally fucked pie. Every other guy with a dick wants to fuck that pie. But they don't. Because that shit ain't right.

Wrath was crazy. They stole a horse and broke into someone's house. That shit was baby crime. Nobody really got hurt except those idiots that they accidentally ran over, he guessed.

He paused for a moment.

Fuck it.

"I want to get into a hobo fight," Joker said, propping Nessie neatly onto a brick wall. "I want to get stabbed by their hobo knife."

Joker ran to the hobo pit.
 

Zell

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Dec 28, 2014
1,677
Wrath cracked his knuckles. He'd considered whipping out his transformation powers and getting his trusty sword and flail, but then he decided against it. Where was the fun in beating up hobos because you had a sword and a spike ball attached to your arm? No, he wanted to beat up these hobos with his fists and his wits

He followed Sour Cream into the hobo pit.

The hobos were surprised to see two teenagers just running straight into the hobo pit without a care in the world, their eyes alight in violence. Some of them started to try to run past them, but Wrath stuck out his arm and clotheslined them like a mofo.

Get rekted.

The actual fight was a little harder than he'd expected. See, when he'd thought about fighting hobos, the thought of fighting actual normal hobos had called to him. He wanted to punch some downtrodden normy in the face and feel their jaw give under the force of his fist, as admittedly fucked up as that sounded.

But he wasn't expecting that some of them actually had powers.

He was fighting a telekinetic hobo right now.

As he took a psychically hurled trashcan to the face, falling on his back and having to wipe gross trash juice from his face, he idly realized that this was the best day of his life.

"Dude," he said as he bounced onto his feet. "This is the greatest shit that's happened to me in a while. I feel like I'm playing some kind of indie RPG or some shit. Hobo Beatdown."
 

Poppy

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Mar 18, 2015
3,930
Was this really happening?

This was really happening.

Bonnie and Clyde, the infamous horse-stealing duo, was going toe to toe with a bunch of superpowered hobos. This was also the best day of Joker's life. He watched as a hobo threw a garbage can at Clyde's face.

"That's not fair. I want to fight a super hobo —"

Almost exactly after he said that, Joker jumped to the side as a hobo tried to throw a chain of lightning at his face. He barely had enough time to react when lightning hobo threw another round at him. Joker parried left and crashed into a dumpster. He hopped onto the top of it with ease and flipped backwards, catching a glimpse of the way he blew the dumpster into the street, and landed feet first on Sparky's face and sent him crashing to the ground.

"Sweet! One down!"

Suddenly, hobo wolverine pounced at him with his claws. He managed to shred his ironic Pepe to t-shirt (Well Meme'd my friend) a bit, but he parried out of the way just in time.

"DID YOU SEE HOBO WOLVERINE, BRO!?"
 

Zell

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Dec 28, 2014
1,677
The sin dived to the side as another trash can went flying past his head. He curled down, shoulder out and charged at the hobo who seemed to be their leader. Wrath could feel his shoulder digging into the gut of the psychic hobo. He’d never once felt like he really needed to step on the downtrodden but--

He stomped on his chest, feeling his bones give. It stopped being fun pretty quickly though.

“This is the kind of shit dreams are made of.” He muttered, doing a fast roll under a blast from Stormbo (Storm hobo). Man… he was getting hungry.

Just as he was starting to wonder how long they’d been fucking around, Wolverinebo (Wolverine Hobo) came at him. His claws were clearly not made of adamantium, because they glanced off Wrath’s hardened bod like marbles off Envy’s face.

“Yo, you getting a mad case of the munchies or is it just me?”
 

Poppy

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Mar 18, 2015
3,930
Okay.

That was brutal.

Joker shared Wrath's sentiment that it stopped being fun pretty quickly. Maybe violence was only cool when it was controlled or, you know, wasn't real. Joker tripped Wolverinebo (Wolverine Hobo) with a swipe and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, intent on leaving the hobo pit.

"Yo, let's go to Dairy Queen."
 
Forgot your password?