In that cheerful moment of celebration, an invisible dark cloud loomed over Aricia. While she couldn't see the cloud, she could feel it. It was a cloud that hovered over her in every waking moment. It whispered horrible comments to her. It told her she was worthless. It called her a murderer. Sometimes it even told her that she didn't deserve to live, but she was (in her words) too cowardly to die. She had gotten so close to death, but she always chickened out in the last second. She always ran away and sometimes acquired help in the form of protection services. She felt an urge to run away even now just so she wouldn't have to tell this story.
However, she knew that wasn't an option for her. That wouldn't be fair to Alaric. She promised that she would explain herself, and that is what she would do. No matter how painful it was, she had to go through with this.
The waiter arrived immediately to take the duo's orders. He did it with great professionalism and without needing the information to be repeated. Once both parties presumably picked their choices, he left them be and wouldn't disturb them again for a long while. This was the perfect opportunity for her story to be told without interruption.
The cheery smile melted away to expose the chilling depression that lied underneath the surface.
"I killed our grandfather. That much is certain."
Her red eyes flickered as she turned away. She couldn't bear to look at her brother in the eye. The princess resorted to staring into her lap.
"I had no ill will against either of them. It was....a moment of weakness. I let my...ailment slip up. I lost control of myself. If you wanted details, then I'm sorry, but I can't help you, brother. I woke up covered in blood and sliced flesh stuck to my metal claws. My head felt dizzy, yet an odd sense of satisfaction filled my being. I felt alleviated of my ailment for one moment. My pain...."
Her claws scratched the table slowly. It was her version of fidgeting.
"...It came back tenfold, no, a hundredfold when I realized what I had done. I was so nervous. So scared. I thought I would be executed on the spot. The worst part is I felt that I deserved execution, but I was too cowardly to face punishment. And so I ran like how a child hides a broken valuable underneath a cushion. I kept running and running. I don't remember for how long. I barely even remembered where I stopped. I moved around so much the past few decades."
She remembered everything in the form of events. Even some people she had trouble picturing the faces of, but she knew she had met them. She knew she formed a relationship with them. She knew many of them harmed her until she ran away yet again only to repeat the same process elsewhere.
"I decided to punish myself. It was only fitting really. I deserved to suffer for what I did. So I formed relationships with people. All of them humans, at least as far as I sensed. All of them abusive. They were abusive in many different ways. Some were BDSM junkies that took things too far; some were alcoholics that needed to take out their drunk anger on someone. Some even....."
The sister slid her hands off the table and covered up her lap as she squirmed uncomfortably. Even her posture altered into a slouching position. Her thin hair seemed to flop lifelessly around her face.
"The lowest point had to be when I got pregnant. A...human....he had his way with me one night. We were dating and he had too much to drink. He was all riled up and he wanted me right then and there. Against my better judgment, I allowed it and took zero precautions. Then about a week or so later I suffered morning sickness."
She rubbed her stomach. Her hands searched for nonexistent life inside of her womb from outside.
"I figured that I might as well take responsibility, right? I could have a new life. Something besides this masochistic horror I put myself through. But I was stupid enough to think that something like that could change me. That something like that could change him."
Her red eyes glowed and this time stayed like that as water bubbled beneath her eyelids.
"He lied to me. He would never make for a good father. He would never stop hurting me, not even when I was carrying her. Our daughter. And because of that I lost her. Just like that."
Her teeth sharpened and became outright draconic.
"I was twenty four weeks pregnant when he shoved me down a flight of stairs. I tumbled backwards and hit my head on the way down. I blacked out. When I next woke up, I was in labor with my legs spread far apart. They said it was too soon. They said she wouldn't make it."
Tears slid down her cheeks.
"I took her home anyway. I had this faint hope that maybe she would survive. Then that was when he attacked me again. He was angry about something, but I couldn't remember what he said. All I know was that the same thing happened when he knocked over her crib. That snapping point I experienced when I was with Grandfather. When I next came to, he was dead, and I was covered in my own blood. I....I think I remember seeing through all of the red that I had used the open cuts and bruises he put on my body to create blood spikes that would impale him."
Her body began to tremble. She relived the moment. The violent flashback overwhelmed her mind. She couldn't keep her composure anymore. The sister slammed her head face first on the table and sobbed into her arms.
"I killed two more people. I killed him...and I killed her. I killed my daughter. I killed her by birthing her too soon and leaving her to die in front of an abandoned building. I knew she wouldn't make it, and it was all my fault. All of it was my fault. If only she was able to read the simple apology letter I left her....the image of her lifeless body still haunts me to this day."
The sobbing continued as she covered her arms with tears.
"And who knows who I'll kill next? Maybe it'll be Alex. Maybe Gwynny. Maybe even you. I have no control over my ailment, Alaric. Every moment that passes is another moment closer to my next breaking point. Not even letting myself almost die multiple times has stopped it. Even though I take sick pleasure out of all of the punishment my body takes, it just wants more and more. No amount of BDSM, knife hoards, or abusive people will stop it."
Thus the story turned her from a bubbly, smiling young woman to a crying child desperate for a solution. She couldn't even bring herself to lift her head off of the table and look at Alaric. The mess she had become over the years was written all over her face.
@Tom Marvolo Riddle
However, she knew that wasn't an option for her. That wouldn't be fair to Alaric. She promised that she would explain herself, and that is what she would do. No matter how painful it was, she had to go through with this.
The waiter arrived immediately to take the duo's orders. He did it with great professionalism and without needing the information to be repeated. Once both parties presumably picked their choices, he left them be and wouldn't disturb them again for a long while. This was the perfect opportunity for her story to be told without interruption.
The cheery smile melted away to expose the chilling depression that lied underneath the surface.
"I killed our grandfather. That much is certain."
Her red eyes flickered as she turned away. She couldn't bear to look at her brother in the eye. The princess resorted to staring into her lap.
"I had no ill will against either of them. It was....a moment of weakness. I let my...ailment slip up. I lost control of myself. If you wanted details, then I'm sorry, but I can't help you, brother. I woke up covered in blood and sliced flesh stuck to my metal claws. My head felt dizzy, yet an odd sense of satisfaction filled my being. I felt alleviated of my ailment for one moment. My pain...."
Her claws scratched the table slowly. It was her version of fidgeting.
"...It came back tenfold, no, a hundredfold when I realized what I had done. I was so nervous. So scared. I thought I would be executed on the spot. The worst part is I felt that I deserved execution, but I was too cowardly to face punishment. And so I ran like how a child hides a broken valuable underneath a cushion. I kept running and running. I don't remember for how long. I barely even remembered where I stopped. I moved around so much the past few decades."
She remembered everything in the form of events. Even some people she had trouble picturing the faces of, but she knew she had met them. She knew she formed a relationship with them. She knew many of them harmed her until she ran away yet again only to repeat the same process elsewhere.
"I decided to punish myself. It was only fitting really. I deserved to suffer for what I did. So I formed relationships with people. All of them humans, at least as far as I sensed. All of them abusive. They were abusive in many different ways. Some were BDSM junkies that took things too far; some were alcoholics that needed to take out their drunk anger on someone. Some even....."
The sister slid her hands off the table and covered up her lap as she squirmed uncomfortably. Even her posture altered into a slouching position. Her thin hair seemed to flop lifelessly around her face.
"The lowest point had to be when I got pregnant. A...human....he had his way with me one night. We were dating and he had too much to drink. He was all riled up and he wanted me right then and there. Against my better judgment, I allowed it and took zero precautions. Then about a week or so later I suffered morning sickness."
She rubbed her stomach. Her hands searched for nonexistent life inside of her womb from outside.
"I figured that I might as well take responsibility, right? I could have a new life. Something besides this masochistic horror I put myself through. But I was stupid enough to think that something like that could change me. That something like that could change him."
Her red eyes glowed and this time stayed like that as water bubbled beneath her eyelids.
"He lied to me. He would never make for a good father. He would never stop hurting me, not even when I was carrying her. Our daughter. And because of that I lost her. Just like that."
Her teeth sharpened and became outright draconic.
"I was twenty four weeks pregnant when he shoved me down a flight of stairs. I tumbled backwards and hit my head on the way down. I blacked out. When I next woke up, I was in labor with my legs spread far apart. They said it was too soon. They said she wouldn't make it."
Tears slid down her cheeks.
"I took her home anyway. I had this faint hope that maybe she would survive. Then that was when he attacked me again. He was angry about something, but I couldn't remember what he said. All I know was that the same thing happened when he knocked over her crib. That snapping point I experienced when I was with Grandfather. When I next came to, he was dead, and I was covered in my own blood. I....I think I remember seeing through all of the red that I had used the open cuts and bruises he put on my body to create blood spikes that would impale him."
Her body began to tremble. She relived the moment. The violent flashback overwhelmed her mind. She couldn't keep her composure anymore. The sister slammed her head face first on the table and sobbed into her arms.
"I killed two more people. I killed him...and I killed her. I killed my daughter. I killed her by birthing her too soon and leaving her to die in front of an abandoned building. I knew she wouldn't make it, and it was all my fault. All of it was my fault. If only she was able to read the simple apology letter I left her....the image of her lifeless body still haunts me to this day."
The sobbing continued as she covered her arms with tears.
"And who knows who I'll kill next? Maybe it'll be Alex. Maybe Gwynny. Maybe even you. I have no control over my ailment, Alaric. Every moment that passes is another moment closer to my next breaking point. Not even letting myself almost die multiple times has stopped it. Even though I take sick pleasure out of all of the punishment my body takes, it just wants more and more. No amount of BDSM, knife hoards, or abusive people will stop it."
Thus the story turned her from a bubbly, smiling young woman to a crying child desperate for a solution. She couldn't even bring herself to lift her head off of the table and look at Alaric. The mess she had become over the years was written all over her face.
@Tom Marvolo Riddle