A kiss with a fist is better than none [FINISHED]

RE: A kiss with a fist is better than none [Poptart]

RE: A kiss with a fist is better than none [Poptart]

The human part of Sebastian curled yet again in disgust at the very mention of mice. He did not want any mice, cute or not. The snake part of him disagreed, curling in pleasure in turn at the very mention of food. The rest of it sounded nice too. Light would be warm, and nice, and...

No, he screamed inwardly yet again. He did not need any of those stuff. He was human, not a snake, and would not like to live in a tank, thank you very much. He did not need a special light, or a log, though he could think about adding HBO to his tablet. But he would do it by himself. When he was human. Which would be in 23 hours and some minutes, he supposed, not knowing exactly how much time had passed exactly since he had turned, which was just another downside of being trapped in his snake form. Snakes cared about the passage of time just as much as they cared about what might have happened and what could happen, which is, not at all.

But he was not a snake. He was a human, trapped in a snake form, who would very much like to know how many more hours he would have to spend in this small, stupid, confining, irritating body. He wanted to sigh. He wondered how people could say that there wasn't enough hours in a day. The way he saw it, there were entirely too much hours in it. But, at least he would be back in a day, however long that day might end up seeming to him...

...and Hari knew that right? Sebastian desperately tried to remember their conversation in the woods, or what little of it they had had. He told him that the form usually lasted 24 hours only? Didn't he? He couldn't remember. That whole day was too clouded with about a thousand other emotions for him to recall specific words that only might have been spoken. Before that then. That first time. The first day. Did he tell him?

He could not remember

Cursing himself and his memory, which was, truthfully not something he could blame on currently being a snake, but was going to do it anyway, he turned towards Hari's face, wrapping his body tighter around the wrist he had grabbed, trying desperately to somehow get his message along, for it certainly did seem like Hari thought Sebastian would be in this form much longer than he intended to considering he had been talking about mice, and tanks, and lights.

Soon, however, this became irrelevant. As he focused his attention back to his boyfriend, he immediately saw that something was very, very wrong. The soft skin from which had been so warm only a moment ago was now hard, and cold, almost like wood. No, not almost, he realised as his eyes focused on Hari's face, the tears still falling from his eyes as the roots slowly took over his face. It was wood. Whatever had happened that day in the woods, with the branches and the roots coming out of Hari's fingers and hands was happening again, only this time it was on much bigger scale.

No, he screamed inside his head yet again, crawling desperately up arm which slowly began to grow small leaves and branches, looking more and more like a real tree with each second passing by them.

No, no, no, god damn it, fuck, god he cursed in every language he knew, the words once again one big mess in his head as he tried to reach for Hari's face. He cursed the form in which he was stuck on and the fact that snakes did not have hands. How was he supposed to comfort Hari if he could not hug him? He cursed the fact that he could not speak as well, for how was he supposed to tell him that it was okay, that he loved him, that he did not care if all his tongue insisted on doing was one and a same, never changing hiss?!

He needed words. He needed words and vocal cords to form them. He needed words in order to beg Hari to be okay. He couldn't... He couldn't turn into a tree, not now, and not only because at least one of them needed to be human at this point. He could not turn into a tree, period. Sebastian would not let that happen.

Only, he wasn't exactly sure how to stop it right now.

I'm sorry for everything Hari had said, and Sebastian wanted to cry. ''It's fine'', he wanted to say but the words wouldn't come of course. They would not come for 23 hours and some minutes more. So he begged silently, wrapping his body around Hari's shoulders, neck, throat, pressing his head against his cheek, as far as he could reach.

Please he thought. Please, don't cry he thought as hard as he could, his body shaking silently. He could not cry, but that did not stop his mind from trying.

Please. It doesn't matter he whispered silently, hoping that somehow, in some way, it would reach the man in front of him.

Please. Please, I need you to be fine.

Please just be fine...

RE: A kiss with a fist is better than none [Poptart]

No, no, no, no, no, Sebastian found himself thinking, the thoughts in his head going a thousand miles per hour, his snake mind, which was obviously designed to handle only one thought at a time in order to be able to make it sharp and easy to understand, to confront and control, overwhelmed by the share panic that came over him at the sight of his boyfriend slowly turning into a tree in front of his eyes. Helpless to do anything but hold tighter, Sebastian found himself doing just that, wrapping his body around Hari's neck again and again up to a point where he was sure that he would be hurting the man had he actually been himself.

Stop this he thought at Hari, begging him to somehow hear, to somehow see it in his eyes that he needed him to stop, to stop laughing at himself so bitterly, to stop with the words and self-hatred, to stop, if nothing else, with turning into a god damn tree.

You stop this this instant, Hari Takahiro he thought, his mental voice slowly turning from panicked to angry, his body twitching and twisting as he kept trying to find a way to get his point across, to communicate when he could not. A part of him still wished to break down, to be the only that stops and simply curlers into himself and cries, as much as a snake could try.

He knew, however, that he could not do that not now, not Hari needed him to help him, to save him from whatever it was that was going on with his power...

Which, apparently wasn't life draining any more? He was possessed by a tree? How does one get possessed by a tree? Though that did explain why he was turning into one all of a sudden, and..

Wait, the last few weeks? Why hadn't he told him? It was not like he wouldn't understand, considering the problems he was having with his own powers and...

...and it didn't matter, he shook himself from the onslaught of thoughts yet again, forcing himself to concentrate on what was important right now instead on anything and everything that raced through his mind. He needed to focus on helping Hari right now, which would be much easier if he actually had hands, and voice, and was generally human shaped, he thought bitterly, before simply deciding that he would have to deal for now. There was a way, he was sure, that he could help his lover even while stuck in this form. It would just probably take a while to find it.

Do you hear me, Hari? You need to stop. You need to stop right now, he continued to think at his boyfriend despite knowing that there was absolutely no way that Hari could actually hear him, for it helped him hold his panic at bay by making him angry again, though this brand of anger had nothing to do with the one he had felt before. This was no rage of being lied to, or fear induced trance coming over him at the thought that he could lose the one he loved the most. This was anger that came over someone when they saw someone they loved putting themselves don, and doing something stupid as a consequence of that.

His thoughts were much calmer now that he had managed to get ride of the panic as best as he could, the gripping, overwhelming feeling settling into something that was much slower, but also much more permanent. He didn't care thought, for at least it allowed him to work through it in order to employ his mind on other fronts, like finding some way to stop a small forest from taking over their room.

The first thing he considered was biting the man around whose neck he was still tightly wrapped in hope that the pain would snap him from whatever it was that was happening to him, and had he been just slightly less sure that he would sooner break his teeth and injure himself than actually get to Hari by doing that, he would have done it. The fact that the skin under his belly now truly felt like wood rather than skin deterred him from that.

The second thing he considered was simply waiting it out, for if nothing else his own change came with an already set time limit. He was even less willing to do this however, for he had no idea what being a tree for a whole day could do to Hari. Would he even be able to bring him back then? Would Hari even be able to understand him then, as he was now? No, he was not waiting for that, he had to find a way to break this now.

And as he tried to find a third thing he could consider, he kept berating Hari in his mind all the while.

You are a fool he thought, hissing irritatedly, both at the man and his inability to come up with something to do. He was supposed to be intelligent for heaven's sake.

What do you mean, 'wanted to believe you could do what a normal person could do'? You are a normal person! he hissed again, wishing he could do something more than that, but soon getting over it. Deal. He would have to deal, and play with the cards that he was dealt.

No, actually, scratch that, he thought, thinking of Hari's kindness and intelligence, his patience and warmth. You might just be a little bit better than an average person really. He might be a little bit biased on this front, however, he decided, considering he loved the man at all, and the fact was that Hari did do some stupid things, to he supposed that evened itself out. He wasn't about to say that, though, not now and not when he had a voice again.

And even worse, what do you mean you wanted to believe you had a future?! this point irritated him more than most, he thought as he tried climbing further up Hari's neck. He still didn't know what he could do to stop this, but he could no longer simply sit still, wrapped around his lover's neck, doing nothing as the man he loved continued being a tree. At least moving gave him the illusion that he was doing something more than thought-yelling words that nobody would ever hear.

Of course you have a fucking future, he thought, hissing quite literary into Hari's ear as he had somehow managed to reach that far. You're gonna get your degree and be a hot shot doctor or something, he thought, and his soul was filled to the brim with pride at that thought, because, yes, he was proud that his lover was smart and that he was going to try and save people even when his powers were such that it seemed he was suited for everything but. And I'm, I don't know, charm my way into a job at some somewhere, and I guess we are going to look for a place we could share after the dorm or something. We would have to talk about that

That, and million other things, for some of the things Hari had said had been true. He had been selfish, Sebastian supposed, though he thought that a world careless was a slightly better fit, and he had lied to him, and Sebastian was still quite mad about that, but he had already forgiven him too. Which in itself was a paradox, he supposed.

And there were other words that need to be said, yes, and some things that needed to be cleared up, rules set for future adventures, for Sebastian really did understand, at least in theory, Hari's need to figure out how his new powers worked. But all of that, all of that required that both of them be human and not be falling apart into a thousand pieces each. So for now, Sebastian would just have to find a way to turn Hari back into a human and then wait out his change, and then they could cry and maybe yell, have that argument all over again, but properly this time, ending it with some hot make up sex instead with both of them changing into something else.

And then they could talk about that future and whether they would be buying a place together. He didn't even know if Hari wanted to stay on the Island or travel further into the world, but that did not matter either. What mattered was that they did have a future and Sebastian wasn't quitting until Hari saw that, the world be damned. And perhaps it would be awkward for a while, some things strained, both of them too quiet, but it would be fine, because Sebastian needed it to be fine, for both of them to be just fine.

Do you hear me, Hari?, he thought as he suddenly slipped, Hari's wooden skin much too smooth for him to hold onto now that he was not securely wrapped around his neck. We are going to be fine. So you stop this, right now. Do you understand me, lover?, he thought, closing his eyes, as he hissed in pain which suddenly rushed through him as he hit the floor.

We are gonna be just fine...

RE: A kiss with a fist is better than none [Poptart]

For a few moments after the pain first started, Sebastian knew nothing but, his whole body shaking with it as it twitched, even the smallest of movements sending new waves of it rushing through his muscles, from the tip of his tail, all the way up to his head. He did not even know if snakes were supposed to feel pain like this, not unless something was broken, and could snakes even break bones? They probably could, but which and how and what... he did not know. He hoped, however, as he still somehow curled into himself, Hari's tree problem forgotten for a moment, but only for a moment it took him to find his breath again, that it was something that carried over from being human, just like the need to throw his hands around did. Otherwise, when he turned back he was going to have one heck of a bruise, or maybe a broken rib. He was not looking forward to that.

Suddenly, he was aware of a dried out, red lief falling over his head. Twisting around a bit and ignoring the pain that came with it, yeah, he was probably going to have a bruise after this, and won't that be fun, just great, he got from under the lief, pushing it away, only to be greeted by the sight he had missed before due to the pain of falling: Hari's branches were retreating, his leaves, and wasn't that a strange thought, his lover had leaves and branches...then again, he himself had scales and was about... two feet? he wasn't sure, he never tried to check...long, so the thought didn't really disturb him that much. It was just weird.

It was also good, he thought, his mind much clearer now, more able to keep up with the thousand thoughts running through his head, more human than it was a moment before. It was probably because of the pain, he thought bitterly as the leaves from branches coming from Hari's body continued to fall, covering him partly for he was not really willing to move away right then. He wanted to be close to Hari when he turned back, for the leaves falling down could only mean that he was turning back, right? Unless he was dying but he decidedly did not want to think about that.

No, Hari was turning back, somehow, for some reason, and he was glad of that. The panic he felt from seeing him turn in the first place slowly faded away, though a part of it lingered under all the rest, a part more permanent and harder to get rid of, but easier to work through. He ignored it for now. There would be time for it to be addressed, probably along with everything else that needed to be addressed, probably with a lot of yelling, a bit of crying, and hopefully, the sex afterwards.

He didn't know for how long he waited before he started feeling sleepy, but the pain was keeping him still and the leaves falling down covered him now almost completely. He was tired, drained, both by turning and his emotions, and he needed to rest. Yes, rest, rest was good. Maybe, if he slept long enough, he would wake up human. A thought about staying awake for Hari, waiting for him to turn back first crossed his mind, and he did try fighting off his sleepiness for a bit, but the practical, snake mind side of him won in the end: he was drained, and needed sleep, and besides, even if Hari did turn back into human now, he could not speak with him still if he was a snake. He needed to change himself too, and for that he needed to wait for the day to end. He might as well sleep until then.

A brief flash of panic shot through his mind again at the thought about missing his opportunity to change back and being stuck like this for a month, but something in him soothed him. He would wake up. He was too determined not to wake up on time. With that thought in mind, small golden snake fell asleep, covered by the leaves.

RE: A kiss with a fist is better than none [Poptart]

The few times Sebastian had ended up trapped outside of his human skin, he had not slept. The first time, he had been too confused, too afraid to do anything but panic, however slowly, and think change me back change me back change me back once he had realised that no, it was not a dream, this strange, strange thing that was suddenly happening to him. The second time it had been almost intentional, driven by some form of curiosity, but had ended just as badly, with him just as angry.

He didn't even know how many more times he had changed. It was not many, yet still his hate for the limited, irritating shape prevented him from actually having any clear memories about basically anything that had ever happened concerning it. Sometimes, he wasn't even sure how he knew what little he did about this part of his power.

Thus, this was the first time that Sebastian has slept while his body was covered with scales, due to the said body being in strong pain, and his soul almost abused by the amount of emotion it had had to endure. His sleep was peaceful, however, his mind settled despite everything that had happened. He was too tired to expect anything when he had closed his eyes, but somehow, still, he thought, that as a snake he would not dream. And yet, as he woke up, he was left with an impression of wide, open fields bathing in sunlight.

It was as peaceful of an image as anybody could imagine, and a dream he would not expect to have, not like this, not after the day he had just had, had he actually had time to expect anything. The peace, however, did not last long, as the reason he had woke up was not that it was time to finally change to his human shape as he had expected, but a loud sound carrying through the floor, of a body falling into the pile of leaves next to the one covering him. Opening his eyes, he found himself eye to eye with Hari. And suddenly, no trace of peace was to be found inside of him at all, despite the fact that he had mostly calmed down, coming to terms with everything that had come to pass before he fell asleep.

No, instead, yet another burst of anger rose within him, mixed strongly with relief though at seeing his boyfriend human again even if he himself was not yet, and he let out a loud hiss sliding out from under leaves and heading towards Hari, adamant on expressing his anger somehow now that the other man's skin was no longer covered with wood. In his mind, a long string of curses in various languages followed that thought.