A New Sense of Euphoria (Faigrance)

Tyler pulled down the sleeves of his gray argyle sweater unconsciously, something he did whenever he was nervous or frightened. Right now, he was a little bit of both. He was supposed to meet this school psychiatrist who apparently had nullifying powers, so he was understandably anxious. It's been a long time since Tyler had met anyone who managed to remain sane even during eye contact. A very long time.

He had a difficult time even going to the dorms. He had to hide behind trees and duck between small spaces just to avoid being seen by anyone. Just because this psychiatrist was immune to his powers that doesn't mean others were. Luckily for him, he had to avoid only a few people when he actually got inside the dormitories.

Now, Tyler stood in front of the door, hesitating. He had heard rumors about this psychiatrist, heard that she was kind of intimidating but that she was good at what she did. 'Is this even the right room? What if she's busy? What if she doesn't want to help me?' These thoughts raced around his head as bit his lip and glanced around him. The hallways were empty. If he left now, no one would ever know. But if he left now, then... isn't that the same as giving up? He stared at the door for a long while. 'Come on, Tyler. You could do this,' he bit his lip again and raised his hand to knock but stopped at the last moment. He sighed and looked down at the floor

'Come on. If you can't even knock a door, how do you expect to control your powers?' He shook his head and slapped his face with both hands lightly. He wiped his hands on his black jeans and looked up with resolve. Tyler took a deep breath. "Alright, here it goes..." He raised his hand and this time, he tapped it lightly against the door twice.

@"Ceano"

The door wasn't opening. 'She must be really busy. I should just leave before I embarrass myself any furthe-- too late, the door's opening!' Tyler tried to calm down and look presentable. He stopped fidgeting just in time to see dark brown eyes peek through the door. 'Oh no!' He flinched away instinctively when he made eye contact, waiting for his powers to take effect.

"Hi! What can I do for you?"

Tyler blinked dumbly. His powers.. didn't work? 'This is it. This is her. She's the one I'm looking for!' He thought triumphantly as his inner self sighed in relief. He didn't get the wrong door after all. Tyler gave the woman a small nervous wave. "Um, hi." He greeted the smaller woman softly. "I'm, uh, Tyler. Tyler Colten." He gave her a small hesitant smile before biting his lip and looking straight at the lady's brown orbs. "I'm here t-to, um... I was sorta hoping that..." he trailed off, confidence dissipating the longer he maintained eye contact with her.

'Snap out of it!' a voice inside his head yelled at him. 'I can't help it! It's been so long since I've actually held eye contact with another person for more than five seconds!' he yelled back in his mind. Tyler looked down and stared at his black adidas hi tops as started puling down his left sleeve anxiously. "I was wondering If I could, um, talk to you about... something. If it's alright with you," he half-mumbled, voice growing softer towards the end.

Tyler stiffened when she patted his back. It was just so... strange. The 21 year old was always worried about his powers going out of control that he had isolated himself from others. He hasn't really had a conversation with anyone who remained sane in a really, really long time. Tyler awkwardly nodded his thanks as he entered the room.

The room was messy to say the least. There were boxes stacked on top of each other in almost every corner of the room. There were also a lot of miscellaneous items strewn all over the place. 'Oh crap, she must be really busy unpacking all these stuff,' he bit his lip in worry. 'I really hope I'm not disturbing her.'

"I'm so sorry, we just moved. I hope it's okay with you..? You are actually our first visitor."

"Oh, no, i-its alright. I don't mind the mess," Tyler hurriedly assured Versil as she slowly kicked away a few boxes to make some space. "I, um, really hope I'm not intruding. You look really busy," he murmured softly, looking around the room. He stood in front of Versil awkwardly, trying to think of what to say next. "I-it's been...," Tyler cleared his throat when he realized that he was speaking too quietly. "It's been a really, really long time since I've, um, talked to anyone who, um, managed to stay sane around me," he said, shyly meeting the smiling psychiatrist's eyes with his own as he nervously tugged on his right sleeve.

'It's also been a while since I met an interesting kid."

Tyler smiled a bit at that, looking unsure if she meant 'interesting' as a compliment or not, and sat down when Versil gestured at him to sit and said a quiet 'thank you'. He may not be used to receiving hospitality but that didn't mean he had no manners. A flashback of the time he first tried to see a psychiatrist and made him insane in a matter of minutes briefly passed through his mind. He remembered crying himself to sleep that night.

"Tell me anything."

He was snapped out of the memory. "Um, alright." Tyler nodded hesitantly and bit his lip. "I, um... I... I'm sorry," he said shyly, quietly wringing his hands together in an attempt to calm himself down. "I'm not very good at this t-talking thing." He smiled at the psychiatrist apologetically. "I-- crap, where do I even start?" He asked Versil, a hint of desperation lacing his voice. He had so much locked inside of him that he thought he would never be able to share to anyone ever since he discovered his powers that he felt as if he was going to burst.

He looked at his hands on his lap and quietly thought. Should he start at his brief happy childhood? Or should he start at the time his father was murdered by his own mother as a result of Tyler not being able to control his powers? What about the people he'd met and made insane? If he started there, which one should he talk about? His neighbor? His cousin? The mailman? The girl he had a crush on? The teacher who told him he could talk to her about anything? His loving mother? His verbally abusive father? Their faces flashed through his mind like a sped-up slideshow. How was he supposed to tell her that he hated himself for having this power, that he isolated himself for so many years because his power made everyone insane, that he wanted to be normal because this fucking power was also slowly making him insane as well?

It was as if he broke open a dam, as if a flood of memories and thoughts and feelings had burst forth, yet he kept quiet. Tyler bowed down his head, wavy bangs covering his eyes, and he took a shaky breath as flashbacks assaulted his brain. His hands started sweating and shaking as the frenzied thoughts raced through his mind. 'Look at you. Pathetic,' a voice in his head told him. 'Can't even hold a normal conversation with anyone anymore.' Not knowing what to say, Tyler kept his head down, suddenly feeling so lost and alone.

Tyler looked at Versil, all kindness and patience, and managed a small nod. For the first time in a long while, he had someone who was willing to listen. He stared at her compassionate smile and wondered why anyone would ever call her intimidating.

"I'll start okay? My favorite color is midnight blue. How about you?"

"M-my favorite color is, um, green, I guess," Tyler told her softly. "Something like, um, emerald green, if I had to be specific." He felt calmer, safer just talking to the woman in front of him. His hands didn't feel as sweaty as they did before and they weren't shaking as badly. Tyler knew he needed someone to talk to, but he didn't realize just how badly he had needed someone to maintain eye contact with him and converse with him like he wasn't different or dangerous. He felt... normal.