you're my wonderwall

That confession was not what Gabe had been expecting at all, and the revelation hit him hard in the chest, as if he had been slammed into a brick wall. "You slept with August?" He couldn't take the information William was giving him in properly, he was stunned. "But you said you...you said that when you kissed him it was an accident and then you gave out to me for thinking there had been more going on... "

Gabe had barely heard the last part of William's confession, that it had been after they had broken up. William had wanted to hurt Gabe, and his wish had been granted. "I...don't know what to say. " Gabe sighed, he supposed it wasn't exactly cheating if it had happened when they were no longer together but he still felt an incredibly betrayed.

It didn't help that William was crying and apologising. Of course Gabe just wanted things to be right between them again but he wasn't sure how that was going to work right now. He'd eventually have to find it in his heart to forgive the boy, after all he'd done many reckless things throughout their relationship too. "I...was there anything going on when we were still together? He needed to clarify about that if nothing else.

If there was a bright side to the situation it was that William had come clean about the whole thing pretty quickly. Gabe would rather find out about something he wished had never happened than be under any kind of illusions. He hated to be kept in the dark.

Gabriel could have reacted far worse. He hadn't left there and then, but he wasn't exactly in the best mood right now. However it wasn't really like Gabe to hold grudges for very long, and William wasn't someone he could stay mad at for very long even with serious things. Gabe let out a long sigh, he was craving nicotine right now and wished he'd put a pack of cigarettes in his pocket.

"Well, Gabe started, trying to suss out his feelings. "I'm glad you were honest with me. " He met the boy's eye, "while I'm not exactly thrilled that you slept with August I realise that you made a mistake. And it didn't happen when we were together. " He frowned a little, "so I suppose I can't really hold it against you. "

"August though, " Gabe continued with the slightest hint of anger mixed into his tone, "August should have known better. You were angry and hurt, but I doubt he was. " Gabe couldn't believe that August had been so quick to get it on with Bill, literally only hours after they had broken up.

A thought hit him suddenly, "wait did you only sleep with him or are you guys.." He stopped unable to let the words escape him. Eventually he choked them out, "are you guys dating? " He didn't think even William would do that to him especially not after he found out that Gabriel had died.

Gabe couldn't really understand why he was feeling nasty pangs of guilt, surely he was the one who should be feeling hurt? Yet he felt like he was the perpetrator causing William all this hurt, and he felt like an awful human being, though he wasn't even human anymore really.

Slowly Gabe moved over to comfort the boy, he wrapped an arm around him carefully and timidly. He couldn't ever remember feeling so nervous around William but now he was afraid he'd break the boy into tiny little fragments - either physically or mentally.

"I... " As Gabe listened to William describing how August had spent time with Bill in the hospital and how he'd made sure he was okay he couldn't find it in himself to hate the man. He was angry and bitter about what had happened but the man clearly had cared for William and maybe just maybe, though Gabe would never admit it, Bill had needed to sleep with August to figure out his feelings.

"I'm sorry I said that about August. He seems like a decent guy... " Gabe sighed, heavily. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All of a sudden Gabe was the one with apologises streaming out of him, "I wish I hadn't scared you like that..." Why he was apologising for dying he wasn't quite sure, it hadn't been his fault. It seemed like the right thing to do however.

Gabe felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as the boy moved away from him. Maybe he doesn't want to be with you anymore Gabriel... It was hard for him to think of other reasons for why the boy was acting so distant though eventually he realised that feeling ashamed might play a part.

The fact that Bill was stuttering only caused Gabe to worry even more so than before. The boy hardly ever felt nervous enough around him that he stuttered. "Alright..." Gabe replied, absently. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to stomach the coffee now, his stomach was too busy doing flips.

Gabe had no intentions of hurting William, nor did he have any indication as to the direction of William's thoughts of current. All he knew was that the boy was nervous and distant, and possibly embarrassed.

"I still love you." The kettle had stopped whistling a couple minutes before and now Gabe's voice broke the silence. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to say it. Perhaps to try and cause William to stop panicking, perhaps because he wasn't sure what else he could say.

Gabe twitched a little bit when the mug dropped but apart from that it wasn't obvious that he had even noticed it. Gabe did not like the direction in which this conversation was heading. There was probably nothing that made him more upset than hearing William give himself a hard time. He wished the boy could see himself the way Gabriel saw him.

Gabe felt like he should get up and help William but the boy had told him not to go near the mess and besides he was frozen to his spot for some reason. "Why would you...why the fuck would you think that? Gabe was completely bewildered. "Of course I still fucking want you." Even if things were far from great between them right now, Gabe still loved William. He couldn't help it, it was going to be that way whether he wanted it to be or not.

"Stop. Stop it right now. " Gabe ordered the boy. He couldn't take it the boy beating himself up about it, he just wasn't able to deal with it. The thought of him killing William, even by accident, frightened him so he certainly didn't like William telling him to essentially help him end his life. "Please." He added, meeting William's eyes.


"I love you so much I don't want to think about you getting hurt or dying or anything, please stop." Gabe felt defeated, he could protect William from other people but he couldn't protect him from himself. As he thought that he properly noticed the fresh cuts on William's arms, only serving to worry him more.

Gabe stood up and moved over to the boy again. He wouldn't let him push him away this time. "Just...let me do this please. " He wrapped his arms around the boy from behind, pulling him tightly into his chest. Wanting to keep the boy there forever if it would make him happy.