Private Finished You Don't Get to Walk Away

Sarrain

Sarrain

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"No, you don't," Lae screamed, watching Noli with more pain than anger in her eyes. She hated that her hurt was showing through, but it wouldn't go away now, she knew.

"Because if you'd cared, Noli, if you'd cared you wouldn't have done it. You'd have thought about us. And you'd be thinking about us now. But like always, you aren't. You're only thinking about yourself! You only think about how this hurt affects you. How everything affects you.

"When you try to fix things you make them worse because you're selfish, Noli. All you care about is you and your feelings. So just let me handle it, okay? I've been taking care of everything else in our lives. You don't get to come in now and ruin it all over again for Papa.

 
Kathinja

Kathinja

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Noli shirked at first, but she kept telling herself—she would not back down, not back down, and she stood back up.

“What is selfish about wanting to fix my mistake and pay Papa back?!” she yelled back. Yes, yelled. Noli rarely ever yelled, but she was sick of Lae yelling at her so now she was raising her voice too. God knows what the neighbors thought, if they were around.

“Yes, I made a stupid, selfish mistake! I believed in something I shouldn’t have, then I got wrapped up in all sorts of stuff on this planet! A-and…I got all caught up in this place…in a place where I wasn’t called ugly, stupid, a waste…”

Noli’s voice softened then and she lowered her head. She was trying to explain something she didn’t think Lae could really understand, so was it really worth trying? She rubbed at her eyes before lifting her head again.

“I know I made a mistake. I know I was selfish. I want to fix it.”

Her jaw clenched before she continued.

“And I know nothing I do will ever satisfy you, and I am not willing to sit and do nothing. So I am going to do what I feel is right. And I am not going to stop paying back Papa. And then, when my debt is paid...and then I will tell him about this place. And if he feels it is the right thing for him to do, then I will make more money so he can come here too.”

 
Sarrain

Sarrain

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"Fine! Do whatever you want, Noli, you will anyway." Lae snapped back, not disturbed by Noli raising her voice. It only made Lae want to hit her harder, but she held the urge back.

"Every time you try to help things go wrong, and you get in my way, but fine. Go ahead and do whatever you want. I don't know why I bother trying to speak with you!"

Laemiri didn't feel much for talking anymore. Her heart hurt. Noli always brought out the worst in her. She needed a good fight or a good fuck. Maybe both. She didn't wait to hear if Noli said anything more before she stormed out of the dorm room, slamming the door as she went and snarling curses in Oleti as she stormed down the hall, no one dared to stand in her way.


 
Kathinja

Kathinja

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“I don’t know why either! You don’t listen, anyway!”

That was the last thing Noli screamed out before Lae stormed out and she slammed the door after her. After that, she leaned against the door and slid down to the floor as she broke out in screaming sobs.

Everything you do is wrong,

You are just a burden,

You are worthless,

These feelings she had thought she had started to let go of after leaving Mes, after removing Malara from her life, they came flooding back like a black hole consuming her spirit.

Once again, she felt like nothing.

 
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