Wyspr #21

Feel free to spill any secrets since that is what this place is for, I can't promise I won't judge but I'm also just some random anonymous person so why should you care about my opinion?

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Since it looks like it's my turn again here is another secret. A heavier one this time. I once tried cutting my wrists so I would get the scars from it, but I cut too deep and actually almost killed myself. It wasn't my intention, but I was young and very much more stupid

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Oh, wow. I wasn’t expecting that to be honest. I was expecting some fluffy or silly secrets when I signed up.

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Well, I kinda did similar. I threw myself into dangerous crap without a care. Lost a lot cause of that.

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Well, my turn I guess. Mine is nowhere near as personal as that, really. I’m a pretty uncaring guy, just how I am. How I’ve coped. But ever since I came to the island, I’ve been feeling pretty apathetic you know?

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Alcoholism and drugs don't exactly fall into fluffy and silly either, you know

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And you will never hear anything fluffy or silly out of me, that would mock everything I try to represent

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I can't say I know, but I can imagine. Being uncaring and apathetic. I used to be that too. Not so much now, it's exhausting. But worth it most of the time

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Fluffy for me and the people I used to be around. I hardly consider it one of my darker secrets.

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And I mean more that I don’t care about stuff I usually would. I quite like kids, yeah? I consider myself not too bad around ‘em. But I was a tad of a prick to a few recently and I don’t feel anything about it.

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There are different shades of dark, I guess. The one I mentioned previously is probably among my darkest one, doesn't get much worse

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Judging from what I've recently witnessed acting really differently when your surroundings suddenly get all changed and everything is fucked I'm not surprised that happened to you. I can't offer any actual advice without knowing about everything in a way that simply chatting like this can't provide

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Yeah, true. I’ve been alive long enough to know shit can trip up.

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Well, my advice so nothing ever can get worst than that is surround yourself with people ya like.

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I’m a shit who doesn’t do much to help myself, but having people who I used to damn hate then got forced to like did wonders. I ain’t as bad as I used to be.

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I'm surrounded by people I more or less like, although lately it doesn't seem so. Another example of how people will change if everything is fucked

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So, do you want to stay in the "fluffy" zone of alcoholism and depression, or are you going to shock me with something that is truly dark even in your book?

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Dunno. Don’t think I’m drunk enough yet.

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Well, I guess there’s one thing. My dark secrets tend to be more crap regular people don’t think big. But I do cause I had a fucked upbringing.

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I’ve got this friend. To be honest, in some ways, he’s like a brother. He’s been doing pretty good on the island, but I feel like I’ve been dragging him down.

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Shocking me can wait then, I suppose. Shame

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Dragging him down how, exactly? Just by existing? Or are you actually doing something to sabotage him?

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In any case it's a feeling I am familiar with as well. I find it surprisingly hard to find validation fo my existence, despite everyone else saying I'm fine the way I am. I'm a difficult person, I'm self-aware enough to know that, and I know more often than not people talk out of their ass just to be considerate. It irks me

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I getcha.

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I’ve had that, a lot. Before shit hit the fan in my life and long after said shit. My best advice is ya gotta try and make your own excuses to be validated. Don’t rely on others’ words.

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Basically don’t end up like me. I’m an asshole who doesn’t help themself at all, and I push people away.

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and, well. I’m not sabotaging his life intentionally anyways. But we had a bit of an argument when we saw each other for the first time in a while. He’s set up a good life here, and I’m happy for him, but I also feel like I don’t care.

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