what doesn't kill you

Damien walked into the student lounge mostly to warm up and do a little bit of studying. He still hadn't seen his alpha and was not going to stay in the dorms with all the drama that entailed. His emotion suppressors were reactivated and once again he felt the cool, detached, undeniable logic of the mind without the swaying and tumultuous state of emotion. He hadn't been able to leave them off for more than a day before the nightmares returned, and even in this state he felt a pang of regret. It had been a little over a month since he had been in the courtyard with Dee Dee and he hadn't spoken to her since then; he had nothing to say. The Damien that had been there and the Damien that now entered the student lounge were not the same person.

Irony struck as he thought back to that time then as he saw her. Technically it hadn't been entirely his fault that they hadn't talked since they hadn't shared any contact information, then again it wasn't like he would have contacted her once he was back to normal anyway. It would have been illogical to continue given that, as he was now, the whole notion of what they had done seemed entirely misguided. He wasn't opposed to relationships, just to pointless, shallow, meaningless sex with strangers. Despite this, he knew that he had needed it at the time and that thought struck him as the most illogical thing he had done in recent years.

Memories of her aside, he flashed back to the here and now and gave Dee Dee a glance. She looked frantic, panicked, something was wrong. Immediately he thought back to last month, then in a moment of denial, shrugged it off and decided it was probably classes. With that he simply moved forward, taking a seat on the couch and closing his eyes, to begin planning his next moves here.

He opened his eyes slowly to the only barely familiar sound of Dee Dee's voice. As she said hi he began psychoanalyzing her words in order to predetermine her purpose for this impromptu meeting.
"I... I need to talk to you about something." She said. That one made it obvious, something was wrong and it involved him. Given there was only one other interaction between the two of them she was either confessing her love, or she was pregnant... or she though he was in love, the latter potentially being a major disappointment for her if she was hoping for it and an embarrassment if she was hoping to tell him off. Nevertheless he figured it was most like the pregnancy option, though he hoped otherwise.

"Your tone denotes the fact that you're serious. You have my undivided attention." He said as he opened his eyes and sat up. His hands were in his lap and his eyes fixed unabashedly on her, though they were emotionless and almost electric in their appearance. Just as he had said, she had his undivided attention.

He looked at her quizzically for a moment then stood and looked into her eyes.
"Estimated probability of having a child after one session of intercourse is approximately three percent. In cold weather the percentage should have decreased given my own biological predisposition. I would assume that you're either lying, or very unlucky. Unfortunately, due to standard law, I am required to assist in the care taking of any offspring I happen to have a part in. The burden is on your body. Do as you like." He said coldly. It was logic, pure and simple. It was easiest to get all of the possibilities of the conversation onto the table and with the emotion suppressors back in effect he was unburdened by any sentimentality that would have hindered his thought process on the situation.

In addition, keeping to the nature of logic, he initiated his sensors.
"Activate electron scanning microscope in conjunction with ultrasonic location sensors. Scan for secondary biological life form implanted within female specimen in front of me. Assume she is already a reality deviant and narrow search parameters to indications of pregnancy." He ordered the scanner array using internalized communication from his electronic brain. Wordlessly, his directional scanners activated, reading for any sort of hormonal change on the skin, increased pores, increased breast size, increase or decrease of estrogen or testosterone, and the ultrasonic scanners checked for a fetus. Next to her head a display presented a picture of a tiny, growing form. Readouts indicated hormonal changes and imbalances, a decrease in testosterone, and slight increase in estrogen, signs she was telling the truth.


"Well it appears you're telling the truth. What would you like to do with the child. I cannot guarantee that I'll be an effective father, though I'm capable of raising it if need be."

He considered her for a moment before decided to answer.
"I utilized short range scanner arrays that allowed me to perform an electronic scan of your biochemical structure at current as well as an ultrasound of your uterine wall using subsonic detection technology. It verifies that you are pregnant." He explained, accustomed by now to having to do so in social situations when he used his scanners. It did occur to him though that she might be undergoing some emotional stress due to her current situation and he geared himself more toward being supportive.

"It's unfair of me to pin the responsibility on you alone. We both contributed to this. Unfortunately the version of me that you were with when this event was started is no longer the one that you are talking to. I use a neural implant that targets the parts of my brain that cause emotional response. That day I chose not to activate it, I do that about once a month in order to keep myself from blurring the line between human and machine by too much." If she was going to be having to interact with him more she would need to know that the unbridled gob of emotion she had been with wasn't his normal state.

"I will help you. If you decide to have the child I will perform the necessary role for you of parent as long as you're willing to step forward as well." He offered, as he tried to figure out how to most logically explain his situation to his superiors.

Damien stepped forward, uncharacteristically wrapping his arms around her. It wasn't an emotional response, it was a logical one. Nevertheless it was probably what he would have done had the emotion suppressors been off.
"You don't have to do this alone. I just said I would be there with you. Besides we have other things to take care of then. It is your decision to make but you must make it. There are protocols, usually not applied to one as young as you, but they exist nevertheless. If you keep the baby you will be tied to me inexorably as long as you want it in your life." He explained, thinking of how his people would probably react. This also meant he had to get in touch with his superior, and he had heard another member of their team had shown up on the island as well.

What he had been referring to was the fact that as his child it would have the option of becoming an agent later in life, but his company had a VERY good child care package. School, food, everything was all taken care of. Plus his own paycheck wasn't exactly minimum wage. It could have a very good life, and as the mother she could as well if she was willing to undergo the training. Most of the team had already completed their own physical training and had converted easily. He would have to start soon if she was going to be able to keep up.

"I know a lot has been forced on you, but it's time to decide now before it's too late, what do you want with the rest of your life. " Depending on her answer, he had things to show her.