Private Finished We Meet Again

Felen did not opt to share more details of his own story. This was neither the place nor the time for that. Originally this was supposed to be a brief and quiet respite from his duties. Giving advice felt odd, given that he himself was certainly no expert on this place.

"Friends maybe? Or allies if friendship is too strong or too far beyond your comfort level? It's ok to need people to rely on here."

"But ultimately I would suggest trying to avoid making sense of this place as related to what you knew about your home. You want it blunt? The rules here are not the same. That's hard. But also gives you an opportunity to start over. You don't have to learn everything right away. Just take your time and be happy that you're allowed to learn things here without being torn apart."

"That place was your home. Where you grew up. It's natural to miss your home even if it isn't as comfortable or easy to fit in there now." He nodded. Even if the man's home was literal hell, the answer would have still been the same.

"But you can also make this place your home too. And I take issue with you claiming to not have a base to relate to me. Or almost anyone else here. Empathy starts with recognizing that other people have feelings whether we have matching ones or not. And you and I are both soldiers even if we've left the wars and our commanders behind. You're looking for purpose here just like I was when I first arrived."

"No offense taken really, just be careful when you compare yourself with others. There are many differences and similarities you might not be able to detect. And that will be true even after you learn more about empathy."

Felen chuckled though when asked about what he used as his foundation when adjusting to the island. "Me? I was aimless until I found someone who I could work for that I could respect. I'm just a soldier, like you. I don't do well without a cause- a purpose."

"In short, a job helps greatly. For both purpose and to give me the sense of a regular schedule and demands to be filled. Freedom, but with limits set by both myself and my circumstances."

"What about you? Would you prefer to work and do your learning on the side maybe?"

"No, you're not a weapon. Believe it or not there's a very simple way to tell the two apart. Weapons don't make decisions for themselves. Soldiers do. You did. You do, every moment you're here looking to learn and talk to someone like me about how you feel." Felen could feel a certain sternness in his tone despite himself. Almost like he was advising a subordinate but not quite so strict. In his judgement Maarab didn't need, and would neither appreciate nor respect, coddling. He needed the facts.

"Frankly Maarab," he shook his head, "I don't know and don't really see a reason to try to guess how it feels. The fact is that here what you prefer matters just as much as what opportunities are available. If you wish to learn then the school will gladly provide for you if you cannot afford it or cannot manage to focus on a job while also in school. Take what you say you've paid for."

Felen nodded. Disagreeing maybe with the specific details Maarab was focused on didn't mean he couldn't also see the positive direction the man was maybe moving towards. "For what it's worth, you don't always have to think about what you prefer. Most of the time the things you find yourself doing often, when not required to do them, are things we prefer to do."

"If finding out who you are and learning about the other people and things here are your rebellion then I support your fight. Collect allies where you can, Maarab. A reliable ally is worth far more than any master's weapon."