Private Finished We Meet Again

PixelatedGlory

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Felen wasn't the most frequent of visitors to the Community Center but he did make a point of stopping in every once in a while if he was in the area or had some time to kill when not busy with his duties. Polgid was holding down the garden, so to speak, so he was free to run an errand or two. One of which had him waiting for an hour or two so there he was in the Community Center, seated at a table with his back to the wall and facing the entrance doors.

Casually he flipped through his phone and nursed a cup of coffee and the remaining half of a pastry


@Boop
 

Boop

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Lately Maarab had been going to the Grey Raven for socializing, although he had not done much of that the past month or so . He had not been back to the Community Centre in a while. But the bar was empty, and if the centre was empty as well, he'd at least be able to find a book.

Entering to see a familiar face, Maarab broke into a grin. He gave a half wave and pulled up a a seat to the side of the table so he wouldn't block Felen's view of the door. Then he realized the last time he had spoken to the man was before he had gone home.

Maarab scratched at the scar on his neck unconsciously before taking his own phone out of his pocket. He frowned down at it in thought. After the conversation they had had, it was difficult to be as casual about his new injuries as it would be with a complete stranger. He was not going to sit here in silence, so he opened up the text-to-speech and typed, " I came back. " Then he looked at Felen and shrugged unsure what else to say.
 

PixelatedGlory

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Felen set his phone down as Maarab approached. He was surprised to see him back on MC alive. Not surprised at all that he had clearly suffered some injuries. "I see that," he replied quietly before taking a sip of his coffee and then also setting that down too.

"I'm assuming the injuries mean you decided to go back home after all? To the meatgrinder, I believe you said that was accurate. Well, it's good to see you're not dead at least." He nodded respectfully but wouldn't offer the man a smile. A grin never played well with a man returning from.. well, hell he supposed. He'd seen plenty of men harrowed by war and Maarab's war was every bit as mental as it was physical, if he remembered right.

"Are you here to stay or going back again?"
 

Boop

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It was times like these Maarab disliked being stuck with typing on the phone. It was slow and clunky and he just wanted to talk. But even throwing himself into practicing he could barely say his own name intelligibly. He had to make do for now though, just another thing to adjust to here.

"I delayed . He sent someone to fetch me. I could not rebel ." He grimaced at that, looking away from Felen in an attempt to hide his expression. He was still conflicted about the fact that coming back to the island had been his act of rebellion. Then he did grin, sharp-toothed, never reaching his eyes. " I was more useful as a weapon. I was only punished." Maarab gestured to his mouth. "Light punishment."

Maarab couldn't help but laugh at Felen's question. It was not a cheerful laugh. He managed to keep it short though and scratched at his neck again. He gave the other man a close look, typing and erasing a few times before he settled on an answer. "This time he would kill me permanently. It is a long story. "
 

PixelatedGlory

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Felen frowned as it became obvious what that punishment had resulted in. Or at least part of it. He assumed there had been much more but that wasn't his business.

"Not to be disrespectful but my question still stands. Clearly you would be killed if you return or are forced to return again but you have to be the one choosing to stay. I'd imagine it will be a fight to do so. Physically or just a test of wills."

He calmly looked Maarab in the eye despite the other man's penchant for slightly unhinged inappropriate laughter. "I am glad to see you survived to come back though. I'll admit I believed you would be slain or otherwise destroyed if you had gone back this last time."
 

Boop

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It was a long story and not just an evasion. A difficult thing made even more so by having to type. Still the question being repeated shocked him into stillness and he stared at Felen, breathing out, "Why?" A question still mostly intelligible in spite of his lack of tongue. He waved off his own ambiguous question a moment later.

Maarab shook his head, responding to Felen's last statement first. "Killing me permanently would have been a waste. But I did not expect to return. I would not have." He stopped then, glancing back and forth between Felen and his phone, tapping his fingers, coiled like he was ready to strike. When he started again it was clumsy and hesitant, yet his face stayed mostly neutral with the effort of arranging his thoughts. "The outpost is small. I talked too much. But I did not disobey I could have fit back in. I would not have left if he only made me remove my tongue."

With a face of disgust he scratched at his throat before continuing. "My leader refused knowledge even for himself. He had me collared with a real rebellion right under his nose and then was foolish enough to leave me an opportunity to escape even when I was forced to obey. I chose to come here. "
 

PixelatedGlory

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"I can't tell whether you're more upset that your former leader didn't want valuable knowledge or that he failed to treat you as a threat and escape risk. Either way it sounds like he isn't the most effective leader." He was paying attention but it was growing increasingly less clear why it was Maarab wanted to share this. He didn't get the sense that it was a brag or boast. It seemed more like the man was mostly just... lost and confused?

"Do you even like it here? From what I could tell you often complain about this place being difficult to adjust to for you."
 

Boop

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Maarab shrugged, he was not sure either. And even though he agreed with Felen, someone else criticizing the archdemon did not sit well with him. His eyes darted to the side, as if listening for something in his head, then to the shadows, before he shook his head and continued. "The whole outpost is isolated. He is the archdemon, the best of our fighters. I could not defeat him."

A bitter laugh was the only answer to Felen's question at first. Then Maarab held up a finger in a give me a moment gesture, watching Felen out of the corner of his eye, brow furrowed in thought. "I am not good at talking and the unwritten rules here are strange. I am trying to learn empathy but I do not understand and I doubt I will ever fit here the way I fit at home before I spent too much time here."

In spite of how slow his typing was, that piece was delivered in a burst once he got started. The next bit a lot more hesitant. "The outpost was never a bad place to live before. When I returned I missed books and asking questions and the people here who are different. No one there would ask if I liked anything." Maarab looked straight at Felen then, a questioning look.
 

PixelatedGlory

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"I don't have answers for you, Maarab," Felen sips at his coffee and then sets the cup back down. Mostly calm, the ever-present lingering impulse to keep his hand free to draw a weapon around the man notwithstanding.

"But I will say that always saying you're bad at talking or won't ever fit in will only ever lead to those things being true. If you truly didn't belong here you wouldn't have missed the books and questions and differences." He was absolutely certain that Maarab was missing the point about why he was asking of he liked it here. Perhaps maybe if he laid it out another way?

"You're very focused on the things you don't understand or can't do as well as others. Since when does a soldier forget to enjoy their successes? You survived going back and you made your own decision to return here. For the things you missed. You're focusing on the wrong things and you'll destroy yourself if you only consider your failings. Trust me. I could very well have done the same thing after my own failings." To emphasize his point Felen lifts his demonic arm.
 

Boop

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"I feel like I am asking the wrong questions. It is so chaotic here. " Maarab had too many questions, not enough words, and the forced use of his phone to speak was leaving him agitated. He frowned at it briefly, hand unconsciously going to cover his mouth, and just listened to Felen.

"The list of things I do understand here would be short. And some of what I missed would not be on it." "Ha!" Again he glanced around at the shadows, searching, before he continued. "If I am here I want to be more than a soldier but I have been a weapon since I was a child. I suspect our training methods are illegal here. "

He looked down at his own shadowy arm, baring his pointy teeth in a humourless grin. "My father cut out a piece of my soul to remind me of my place when I first reported on this island. But my eye is a battlescar. "

Pausing to give Felen an opportunity to elaborate if he wanted, but not pushing, Maarab considered the elf's arm with an almost sympathetic expression. "You give good advice. There is no shame in scars if you keep going learn from them." He hesitated then, losing his grin. "I do not know the right word. You, Lord Ghum and the birdwatcher are the only ones I have been more connected to. "
 
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