Waking up to the mess I made

It had been so long now. so many days had drifted by. Each one she had woken up with the promise that maybe today was the day. Each one one came and went bleeding quietly into the night awaiting the cycle to begin all over again. Every day tore her down, No matter much much she built up, it was never enough. Sure she had found ways to cope. Things to keep her occupied or busy. She worked on puzzles with Iesha, watched movies or read books. She went out for walks or focused on her studies. When classes were disrupted, she was given a list of reading and assignments to complete. She had ready everything, assigned or not, twice over, and completed her assignments well and above what had been called for.

The house had been reorganized more times than she could count, and she would cook complicated meals for herself and the young Lamia. Occasionally, she would see Raul for coffee, and a stroll, though since the incident those escapes had numbered out as well. There was little left for Narraine to do to keep her mind focused away from Jared. It wasn't that she didn't want to think about him, In truth, during the hardest parts, it was thoughts of him that kept her going. Instead, it was the biting loneliness she felt in his absence. Him not being around affected her in ways that she hadn't even seen right away. Now she could tell that the feeling of loss was comparable to that of losing Aylin.

Today she had arrived at the hospital again, like every other day. The nurses had begun to have a cup of tea ready for her, given her clockwork schedule. They knew that she would arrive precisely at thirteen after twelve, as she had every single day. They often tried to chat with her. Stopping her for a few minutes to tell her about their lives, or any changes in the hospital, and like always Narraine would smile and nod along politely with their conversation before slipping away into Jared's room.

She spent a lot of the day quietly tidying the small room, or holding Jared's hand. There wasn't much else she could do. But it gave her a sense of purpose and so she took pride in these daily routines. She would break the silence every now and again with a small conversation, or a song. And every so often she would have an outburst or tiff with the unconscious vampire. Sometimes it was a vent of her feelings, while other times it was to try and get a response from him. Anything would do, any sort of sign.

Today there was no such outburst. In fact, there was little conversation at all. After tidying up she had simply sat by his bed holding his hand. She wasn't sure what to say anymore. She had even become convinced that he couldn't hear her. Wherever he was was just too far away. It left her feeling guilty that she thought that way, but that wasn't fair on her part. realistically by this point, the odds of people waking up declined with every day that went on. She had to realistically look at the fact that he might not come back.

When she had gotten up to leave she had placed her picture and the letter back under his hand so that they were there for him, before heading to the door when she heard something. She had heard it before, sometimes. The whisper of a voice lost beyond the grips of existence. When she heard this she wasn't able to tell if her mind was playing tricks on her or if she was actually hearing him. It was always the same, though, barely audible, and clearly in her mind. This time felt the same, only not. There was no please stay, there was no I love you. There were no promises or whispers of tomorrow. Instead, it was just her name. And the voice sounded raspy. It was as if it had spent days screaming and was at the end of its ability to communicate.

Narraine sighed as she turned around at the door. She stood next to it, with a hand on the doorknob looking back at Jared as if looking for some sort of sign or follow up that she didn't actually expect would come. "Jared... What are you even doing. I don't know if it's you or just myself anymore." She said with a small huff.

Narraine's heart jumped when she saw him stir. At first, she couldn't move, paralyzed with disbelief at the scene unfolding in front of her. She had been waiting so long now, had imagined so many scenarios in her mind, and now, like out of one of her dreams, it was happening. "J-Jared" She managed to stammer as she dropped her bag and slithered over to his side. Without hesitation, she took the picture she had left in his hand, and placed it to the side, before wrapping her fingers around his. She was trying to get closer now as he began to move, but there was only so close she could get before actually climbing up on the bed with him.

Tears had started ti run down her cheek as her other hand touched the side of his face. "Shhhh.. Take it easy. relax... You're in the hospital. don't over do it." Her voice shook along with the rest of her as she held him now. She didn't know what to say or do now. Part of her thought she should signal a doctor, but she was afraid they might push her out of the room if she did. She would wait a little bit, then tell them. It would give her this moment alone with him, which was all she really wanted.

"There was an accident. you've been hurt. please don't push yourself." She had so much more to say, but like him, she couldn't over do it. She needed to give him a second to get oriented. Then, if he was stable she could bombard him with her thoughts and emotions.

Part of her wanted to cry harder as he touched where his arm had been. It was traumatic enough on its own, but to watch the realization occur to him was that much harder. Her own hands reached out to grab his pulling it away from the missing appendage. "No... Just... Not yet. finish coming back first." She whispered. She wanted to save him from the shock of the injuries for a few moments.