Shay had never noticed Mia much before the New Years party. It had always been a thing of passing, someone she recognized but felt neutral toward. Honestly, Shay had never wanted to acknowledge Mia as anything more. It would make things too complicated for her, bring out insecurities, make her wonder. And all of that was true, even as Shay liked Mia and found comfort in her presence. It was a hog-posh of curious things that left her head spinning.
Upon the new year, Shay had requested Mia and she went out together. Shopping, a movie, lunch. Whatever worked. Shay was nervous, assuming if she fucked something up (as she was prone to doing) that Logan and Dorian and Mia would hate her forever. Thinking of people as a packaged deal really hit a sore point for her.
Since speaking alone with Mia, it was always a constant thought that Mia was better than Shay. Somehow purer, or more worthy of good things. Envy clutched her chest, as it always had at those who were luckier than her, but there was the dual side, that was happy for her friend.
Good, she'd thought, get loved. I'll step out of the way. That's better for everyone.
Did it have to do with Logan? Very much so. He seemed to like Mia a lot, along with Dorian, and well, Shay wasn't sure he liked her a lot. It wasn't that she assumed Logan disliked her, but he'd said some cutting things. Shay wondered if they said those types of things to Mia, or was it all warmth?
The unwelcome thought that Shay was about to be thrown to the wayside had her clawing for anything. A sense of understanding or closure. She was prepared for the hurt because being open and trusting that it wouldn't happen had always burned her before.
"So, what kind of things do you do on a girl's day out?" she asked Mia.
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Shay was a good kid. Mia had always thought that of her, even if Shay seemed to have shyed away from her for the most part before the events of that New Years party. She was obviously a damn smart kid. A bit of a troublemaker, but was Mia of all people going to judge a kid for that? Of course not. She spent 70 years being a troublemaking adult.
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
- Mar 20, 2014
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Shay was a good kid. Mia had always thought that of her, even if Shay seemed to have shyed away from her for the most part before the events of that New Years party. She was obviously a damn smart kid. A bit of a troublemaker, but was Mia of all people going to judge a kid for that? Of course not. She spent 70 years being a troublemaking adult.
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
- Mar 20, 2014
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Shay was a good kid. Mia had always thought that of her, even if Shay seemed to have shyed away from her for the most part before the events of that New Years party. She was obviously a damn smart kid. A bit of a troublemaker, but was Mia of all people going to judge a kid for that? Of course not. She spent 70 years being a troublemaking adult.
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
There had been a…touch of Shay’s envy for Mia when they had spoken during the New Years party, but it was still difficult for Mia to fathom someone really being jealous of her. She was trying to be a better person—trying so damn hard, and she was finally in a position where it actually seemed to be happening. She had Dorian and Logan to support her, instead of dragging her down as so many had in the past.
But, still. To be considered more ‘worthy’ of good things was pretty damn baffling for her. To her, it felt more like she just kind of accidentally stumbled into good things by accident after years of stumbling through straight up shit.
“Well…” Mia tilted her head as she considered Shay’s question. Of course in the past, Mia’s idea of a ‘girls night out’ was going clubbing and getting utterly smashed. But that wasn’t her anymore—not to mention it was pretty inappropriate for a 14 year old. What was appropriate for a 14 year old? Mia had never been one herself…well, she had, but she was in a volcano at the time.
“Shopping might be fun. Or we could just go have lunch and chat somewhere. Um…there’s the movies, but I don’t really know what’s out right now. Or…karaoke? Shit, I haven’t done karaoke in years…”
Mia let out a chuckle, turning to her companion.
“Any preference?”
Shay perked up when karaoke was brought into the equation. She hadn't even considered that an option. She tried to mask her excitement, embarrassed of it and looked away from Mia's eyes.
"I like singing," she said a hint shyly. "I might not be that great at it, but I do it a lot alone in my room." When things were too much, and Shay felt like she was drowning in herself, release came through song, when screaming was too obvious.
Shay shifted before she started moving forward, almost too nervous to ask what she was going to ask next. "If I stop being friends with Dorian or Logan, would you still be my friend? Or would we have to never talk anymore? Be all awkward with our hi's and goodbye's?"
Mia was probably one of Shay's only real close female friends. At least, one Shay didn't need to baby or protect all the time. It was a different sort of dynamic. Shay didn't make a habit of thinking of non-family members as actual family members. She'd continue with the knowledge that they weren't actually related to her.
But Mia felt like a sort-of older sister. The type of person you went to for makeup or boy advice. Went shopping with and talked with. Shay shouldn't have felt that vulnerable. A bad, bad idea, because things this beautiful always ended abruptly.
She wanted to tear up, get on her knees and beg Mia to never leave her, but she wouldn't show that weakness again. It had bitten her the first few times she'd done it, and she'd told herself never again. She wouldn't let people make her feel that small again, not anyone.
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But then Shay asked a big question that caught Mia off guard. If I stop being friends with Dorian or Logan, would you still be my friend?
Mia looked up from her phone, blinked, absorbed the question. Then she shoved her phone in her jacket pocket and stepped toward Shay, took her hands and pressed their foreheads together.
“Of course I would still be your friend, hun.”
Mia closed her eyes for a moment.
“I love Dorian and Logan, but I love you too. I’m not going to throw that away.”
For a moment, Mia squeezed Shay’s hands. For Mia, friends were…so valuable, but also so fleeting and hard to keep. At least in the past they were. She had fucked up so many friendships. She was so worn down from it. She wanted to do better.
Mia was so tired of being hated. She wanted to love and be loved.
She lifted her head then, and let one of Shay’s hands go but continued to hold the other.
“Sounds like this has been on your mind for a while…”
Shay almost flinched when Mia stepped nearer to her but managed to suppress it. Her eyes fluttered nearly closed when Mia pressed their foreheads together, and Shay couldn't help but lean into the physical affection.
She breathed out shakily when Mia pulled back and held only one of her hands. Shay opened her eyes but kept them cast downward toward the ground. "Well.... Yeah. Ever since we got closer at the New Year's Party. When you get close to... couples, if one of them ends up not liking you, the other's do too. Or they leave, and I'm sick of having people leave."
Shay hated admitting it, but she hated the hurt that was sure to show in her gaze more. She didn't want to cry, so she blinked the sting of it away and reached up to rub the tingling from her face with her free hand.
"It...It's easy to throw someone like me away," she told Mia with some hesitation, and the truth of that statement brought the tears ever closer, right to the corner of her eyes were they threatened to roll down her cheeks. "That's why I gotta be careful to not be too much," she motioned to herself in general, "me."
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Mia grabbed Shay’s shoulders as she said this, serious in her tone and expression.
“I’ve been thrown away by people too, Shay.”
And it wasn’t fucking fair that Shay felt that way, Mia thought. She was so young. Maybe Mia deserved a few of the times people gave up and abandoned her but…not Shay. Mia lifted a hand to stroke Shay’s cheek—soothing and affectionate.
“I don’t make my friends based off of the relationships I’m in. I’m not going to just drop people based on the relationships I am in either, okay?”
Then she hugged Shay. It wasn’t fucking fair for someone so young to feel such heavy burdens like Shay did. She wanted to love and be loved--and Gods did she want Shay to feel loved.
“And I like you just as you are. So don’t you change a thing, alright?”