Private Finished The Years Led Me Back Here

There it was again, that strange warmth, when Noel called Brynjar a friend. And it got stronger when Noel said he wanted Brynjar to be happy. Brynjar frowned just slightly, confused, before he smiled a bit at Noel, and nodded
"You considering me a friend is...priceless. I'm honoured. Thank you."

Brynjar hadn't had any idea what Noel could've possibly asked him for repayment, but when the man commanded him to basically be happy it more or less caught Brynjar off guard. He blinked and opened his mouth once, only to close it again. Now he certainly didn't have any words. In the first place Brynjar didn't know what made him happy. That particular feeling was absent from inside him. As for loving...
Brynjar looked down, slightly embarrassed. He liked to read of romantic love, but he had never experienced it. Brynjar wanted to, but he was so very unsure and afraid. And other kinds of love, love for his family and kindred, those feelings he had forgotten after the centuries on ice.
"I...I could never do such a thing, for personal gain. In the first place I don't...I do not know how..."
Brynjar had opened his fists and was looking at his palms, observing all the small scars he had on them. He could name all the occasions he had received them, he could see the one or what had given them to him. One scar in particular, on his right thumb, Brynjar looked at closer. It was from his childhood, when his mother had tried to teach his how to peel potatoes. A small smile drifted to Brynjar's face and for a second it was void of sadness. It returned soon enough, but Brynjar had realized something. He had not forgotten the love towards his family and comrades. He still had it. But...
Could he ever feel that same love towards anyone?

Brynjar did crack a slight smile at Noel's words, when he imagined a situation he described. Brynjar knew acquiring love was not as simple as just demanding it and it fell in your lap. But Brynjar still lacked the mental strength to take the first step on his own. Brynjar also still had the belief planted in his brain, that he was meant to spend his life alone, serving others rather than himself. The slave mentality, so to say. Although Brynjar knew this true, even if you know you're colour blind doesn't mean you can see the colours. Brynjar believed that saying described his situation quite well. Brynjar looked at Noel and nodded.
"Your words ring with truth, Noel, as usual."
Brynjar sighed a bit through his nose and stroked the cover of the book in front of him.
"Eternity...I still find it hard to believe that I have eternity. As for finding a...special person..."
Just saying that word made Brynjar embarrassed, and he rubbed his face a bit with his other hand. He wasn't blushing, not exactly, but he was slightly less pale than usual. And it was probably noticeable, since Brynjar was quite pale.
"I'm very...uncertain about it..."

Brynjar wanted to slowly sink into the ground, half out of shame and half out of embarrassment, when Noel suddenly praised him a bunch. Brynjar didn't really know how to react, no one had never said all those things about him at once. Normally he would just gently deny it and move the conversation on but from Noel it had more impact. Brynjar brushed a hand through his hair and and glanced at Noel. It was very hard to look at him. Something about Noel's gaze made Brynjar feel restless. Or made him want to run away.
"Please stop. I don't deserve such praise."
Brynjar rubbed his face again, was it getting hotter in here? The sun wasn't shining out, the clouds had covered it up. And the air conditioning seemed to be functioning normally. But for some reason Brynjar could've sworn his body temperature rose.

And when Noel even offered to help Brynjar meet people he shook his head and hands, looking quite surprised and flustered, for Brynjar. His expressions were quite subtle. But inside he was nearly panicking.
"No no, thank you but no. I wouldn't...there isn't..."
Brynjar couldn't quite find the words and stuttered slightly but his gestures were exaggerated and his face was starting to actually look like he was blushing.

Brynjar couldn't handle being the center of attention in any other situation aside from class, but he had never been prone of blushing and was more sullen than flustered when he became embarrassed. So he couldn't even connect his face heating up and his embarrassment. And as Noel laughed slightly and promised not to embarrass him anymore Brynjar, realizing he must look ridiculous, took a breath and straightened his back. His hair probably had a bit of a ruffled, messy look now since Brynjar had swiped his hair through it a couple times. Though he wanted to swipe his hand through it again when Noel invited him to have dinner, and looked into Brynjar's eyes maybe a tad longer than was normal. Brynjar's blush was more or less gone but that made the last of it remain on his face.
"I'd...that would be acceptable, yes. I'd be honoured to join you for dinner."
Brynjar nodded and cleared his throat a bit afterwards, not sure where he should look. Looking Noel in the face was increasingly hard now, for some reason.

Brynjar could tell Noel was joking from his words and tone, but still he somehow didn't like the man putting himself down, even as a joke. Brynjar owed a lof to him, Noel was a great person and a good god. Brynjar shook his head slightly and smiled in his own humble way.
"I don't know any other gods on the island, I only recently got back after all. And 20 years ago...wasn't the best time for me to meet gods."
Brynjar shrugged a bit, his smile slowly vanishing. But his eyes had sincerity when he said his next words.
"I'm glad I met one as good and...cool as you."
Brynjar wanted to chuckle at himself using thay word, somehow he himself knew it didn't fit him. And praising Noel, although he meant every word, was slightly embarrassing for Brynjar.

Just the thought of the two of them in a restaurant made Brynjar nervous, so thinking of sharing a hoke cooked meal made Brynjar nearly panic again. It took him a second to find some words.
"I'm, it's better we go to a restaurant. I would hate to impose on you. Rather I should be the one cooking, since I am in your debt."