For many, it would be a regular day. Xavier thought it would be the same as usual. Get up, feed Dani and get her sorted for the day, get himself ready. Babysitter arrives to take Dani somewhere. Xavier would go for a jog, swimming, volunteering, a free run, hang with friends. An active and busy life. Xavier could be lazy, but he rarely liked staying home and doing nothing. But the last few days had been worst than usual.
It had started when he had an argument with Marissa. She had proposed the possibility Xavier had an alcohol problem. Ever since, he had felt a mixture of emotions. Largely, he felt confused why he had gotten so upset and angry. This lead to him feeling guilt because of how it upset her. She had cried, and he just left. Ever since, he decided to prove a point by not drinking at all. If he didn’t have a problem, it should be a piece of cake. But Xavier did have a problem. He used alcohol to essentially knock him out. To avoid the thoughts and anxieties that would come to him as he would try to sleep. It also helped him with the dreams. Where he stood on a beach, and a voice he felt was familiar would list all the reasons he was terrible. He would only wake up minutes after finally falling asleep in a cold sweat thanks to the dreams. Without the safety net he used, Xavier had returned to having very little sleep. His busy lifestyle didn’t help with the severe exhaustion.
Even then, Xavier paced a lot in his room at night. He couldn’t stay still. All he could think about was how he was failing. What if he did have a problem? He’d have failed all the friends who stuck with him after his royal fuck ups. But... do they even care? Are they just here out of pity? They probably felt he had this problem as well. They only stayed because of the poor human wreck that is Xavier. Maybe it was cause they were more worried about Dani.
Xavier would pace for hours. These thoughts heavy on his mind. Along with this, he had been eating less. Not that his appetite had been the best for the last few months anyway. But worst than usual. Xavier knew he was hungry and dehydrated, but only had bare minimum.
Hungry, dehydrated, exhausted, anxious, depressed. All the while he continued to exert himself. But the previous day, Xavier had a splitting headache with nausea. He felt dizzy before he went to sleep. But he wrote it off. Just a bad day. So Xavier awoke as usual. His morning progressed as usual. Except the headache was back. While he took a shower, the heat felt worst. As Xavier walked around the dorm, getting Dani ready, he felt so terribly sick and dizzy. Why did he feel cold now? He thought the heat was bad. Xavier barely processed any of the idle chit chat the babysitter said as she came to pick up Dani. What was Dani doing today...? Was she going to the park or... a friend’s house... As Xavier thought to himself, the headache only got worst. Suddenly, he sprinted to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. The already very little contents of his stomach expelled. When he stood up, flushing the toilet and going to wash his face, he saw how pale he was. Xavier would often write off being sick, and this meant he tended to be sick longer. But as he looked at his blotchy skin, his body shivering, Xavier decided that he was definitely sick.
So Xavier called the place he was supposed to volunteer at that day. They were very understanding, and felt Xavier deserved some rest. But as soon as Xavier hung up on the phone, he stared at it for a while. He couldn’t just sit around and do nothing at all, even if he was sick. Just a stroll, then. A stroll would be fine, he’d take it easy. But Xavier wouldn’t make it far. He began to walk to the door, putting his phone in his pocket. The door felt so terribly far away. Each step felt worst than the last, and he couldn’t maintain his focus on the door as nausea and dizziness hit his mind again. Then, everything became blurred then black as Xavier collapsed and passed out. Xavier had the dream again, but the voice only said one thing. “You’re failing.”
Xavier awoke several hours later. His body covered in sweat, and his heart pounded in his ears. The headache still remained, along with dizziness and nausea. He still felt cold. Xavier realised he was on the floor in front of the door, and it dawned on him he must have passed out. But he wouldn’t realise the severity until he tried to move. Xavier was able to push himself up into a sitting position, but his body felt shaken and weak. His heart still raced. Xavier tried to stand up, but instantly fell back down as darkness clouded his eyes and threatened to make him pass out again. Panic raced through his head. He could barely move, let alone get up. He tried several times to get up, even using the wall as support. The closest he ever got was to drag himself up half way, then fall to his knees. Finally, this brought Xavier to sitting on the floor with his back to the wall next to the door. He needed help, but who...?
Xavier barely thought as his hand weakly pulled his phone out and started to call someone. He pulled the phone to his ear, his head leaning back into the wall as he breathed. When the person on the other end responded, all Xavier would say is- “Angelo, I need help. I’m at my dorm, and... I can’t get up. I passed out and I think I’m going to pass out again. I don’t want to go to the hospital, not again... just... didn’t know who... call...” It felt like a struggle to speak, and the more he did the quieter his words became. By the end, it was more a slurred mumble. He wasn’t able to even end the call before the phone slipped from his hand and his head slumped forward as unconsciousness set in again.
@Romi
It had started when he had an argument with Marissa. She had proposed the possibility Xavier had an alcohol problem. Ever since, he had felt a mixture of emotions. Largely, he felt confused why he had gotten so upset and angry. This lead to him feeling guilt because of how it upset her. She had cried, and he just left. Ever since, he decided to prove a point by not drinking at all. If he didn’t have a problem, it should be a piece of cake. But Xavier did have a problem. He used alcohol to essentially knock him out. To avoid the thoughts and anxieties that would come to him as he would try to sleep. It also helped him with the dreams. Where he stood on a beach, and a voice he felt was familiar would list all the reasons he was terrible. He would only wake up minutes after finally falling asleep in a cold sweat thanks to the dreams. Without the safety net he used, Xavier had returned to having very little sleep. His busy lifestyle didn’t help with the severe exhaustion.
Even then, Xavier paced a lot in his room at night. He couldn’t stay still. All he could think about was how he was failing. What if he did have a problem? He’d have failed all the friends who stuck with him after his royal fuck ups. But... do they even care? Are they just here out of pity? They probably felt he had this problem as well. They only stayed because of the poor human wreck that is Xavier. Maybe it was cause they were more worried about Dani.
Xavier would pace for hours. These thoughts heavy on his mind. Along with this, he had been eating less. Not that his appetite had been the best for the last few months anyway. But worst than usual. Xavier knew he was hungry and dehydrated, but only had bare minimum.
Hungry, dehydrated, exhausted, anxious, depressed. All the while he continued to exert himself. But the previous day, Xavier had a splitting headache with nausea. He felt dizzy before he went to sleep. But he wrote it off. Just a bad day. So Xavier awoke as usual. His morning progressed as usual. Except the headache was back. While he took a shower, the heat felt worst. As Xavier walked around the dorm, getting Dani ready, he felt so terribly sick and dizzy. Why did he feel cold now? He thought the heat was bad. Xavier barely processed any of the idle chit chat the babysitter said as she came to pick up Dani. What was Dani doing today...? Was she going to the park or... a friend’s house... As Xavier thought to himself, the headache only got worst. Suddenly, he sprinted to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. The already very little contents of his stomach expelled. When he stood up, flushing the toilet and going to wash his face, he saw how pale he was. Xavier would often write off being sick, and this meant he tended to be sick longer. But as he looked at his blotchy skin, his body shivering, Xavier decided that he was definitely sick.
So Xavier called the place he was supposed to volunteer at that day. They were very understanding, and felt Xavier deserved some rest. But as soon as Xavier hung up on the phone, he stared at it for a while. He couldn’t just sit around and do nothing at all, even if he was sick. Just a stroll, then. A stroll would be fine, he’d take it easy. But Xavier wouldn’t make it far. He began to walk to the door, putting his phone in his pocket. The door felt so terribly far away. Each step felt worst than the last, and he couldn’t maintain his focus on the door as nausea and dizziness hit his mind again. Then, everything became blurred then black as Xavier collapsed and passed out. Xavier had the dream again, but the voice only said one thing. “You’re failing.”
Xavier awoke several hours later. His body covered in sweat, and his heart pounded in his ears. The headache still remained, along with dizziness and nausea. He still felt cold. Xavier realised he was on the floor in front of the door, and it dawned on him he must have passed out. But he wouldn’t realise the severity until he tried to move. Xavier was able to push himself up into a sitting position, but his body felt shaken and weak. His heart still raced. Xavier tried to stand up, but instantly fell back down as darkness clouded his eyes and threatened to make him pass out again. Panic raced through his head. He could barely move, let alone get up. He tried several times to get up, even using the wall as support. The closest he ever got was to drag himself up half way, then fall to his knees. Finally, this brought Xavier to sitting on the floor with his back to the wall next to the door. He needed help, but who...?
Xavier barely thought as his hand weakly pulled his phone out and started to call someone. He pulled the phone to his ear, his head leaning back into the wall as he breathed. When the person on the other end responded, all Xavier would say is- “Angelo, I need help. I’m at my dorm, and... I can’t get up. I passed out and I think I’m going to pass out again. I don’t want to go to the hospital, not again... just... didn’t know who... call...” It felt like a struggle to speak, and the more he did the quieter his words became. By the end, it was more a slurred mumble. He wasn’t able to even end the call before the phone slipped from his hand and his head slumped forward as unconsciousness set in again.
@Romi
