The Decision

A

amor my deer

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Oct 18, 2013
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Joshua’s eyes widened... as he saw Brendon... and his heart squeezed with a deep pain as he saw... what he had done to him...



His delicate amber eyes were filled with tears...and he quickly tried shielding himself by hiding underneath the window. Joshua instinctively reached for him... but his fingers were greeted with the cold glass of his window.



He glared... and continued to feel the sharp ache within his heart. He had hurt Brendon...



[color=083901] “This is not what I wanted...” [/color] he whispered and clenched his hand into a fist. [color=083901] “I didn’t come here to cause you pain...”[/color] Joshua told him and clenched his teeth...straining with his own emotions. He could see Brendon’s tear filled gaze burned into his mind.



[color=083901] “I came to deliver a message in hopes that you would... see me again... I wanted...”[/color] he whispered... [color=083901] “to see you again...”[/color]






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A

amaranthine

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Oct 18, 2013
112
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I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
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“This is not what I wanted…,” He told him… from the other side of the window.
“I didn’t come here to cause you pain…”



Brendon strained and could feel another wave of tears trying to break from him.
He clutched at his chest, where his heart was hurting. He wanted so much. It
was so hard to contain all of these feelings, all of these emotions.



“I came to deliver a message in hopes that you would… see me again…,” Mr. Ardel
told him. “I wanted… to see you again…”



“Why?” He cried out before he could stop himself and began to harshly
breathe… as he felt him so near. He was right behind him. There was only a
wall separating them. Only a window. What would it be like… What would
happen… if he opened it? What would happen?



Why couldn’t he… Why wouldn’t he…? Brendon stared out in front of him, his
eyes large… and filled with tears. He breathed in and out… and then glanced up.
He wanted to see… what would happen. Would this pain go away? Why was he
fighting…? What was he doing?



Brendon stood up onto his knees and reached up, unlatching the window. And
then he began trying to open it…

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A

amor my deer

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Oct 18, 2013
108
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[color=647d32]W[/color][color=647d32]hy?[/color]” Brendon cried out and Joshua instantly felt his pain. It was coursing through him as if it where his own and it made him desperate to hold Brendon. He wanted to pull him tightly into his arms and steal away all of his pain.



His hands both moved to Brendon’s windows to try and open them, but each window was locked just as it had been yesterday. Joshua clenched his teeth tightly, but his gaze lowered to Brendon as he looked up at him...



He needed him...



Joshua couldn’t deny that feeling... his fingers clenched tightly against the window and he felt threatened that he would tear it open. But Brendon eased his aggression the moment he began lifting up and reaching for the locks himself.



His emerald gaze lulled with his longing and he didn’t wait for Brendon to open it this time. Joshua impatiently shoved the window upwards and pushed inside to reach for Brendon.



His hand wrapped around his back and his other one underneath his legs to gently pull him from his bedroom and into his arms.



Joshua held him close against his body, but wouldn’t allow his bare feet to touch the cold ground.



[color=083901]“Bren...”[/color] he whispered and pressed his face down against his neck breathing in his intoxicating scent... The heat... and satisfaction of having him in his arms... was substantial... he had never known this feeling before. It was nothing like the uncomfortable feelings he received when someone else touched him.



Brendon belonged in his arms... his soft delicate body belonged against his own.







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A

amaranthine

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
112
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ●
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In one swift movement, Mr. Ardel forced the window all the way up. And then…
he was reaching for him, grabbing him, bringing him into his arms. The pain
swelling inside of him, the tears, and the struggle, burst… in the form of new
tears streaming down his cheeks… the moment he felt his arms.



He gasped through a soft sob, his heart beating quickly, as he was pulled through
the window and outside… into his arms. Into Ardel’s arms… Brendon sobbed
harshly. But, he immediately wrapped his arms around him, holding him back
tightly. He sobbed and cried, unconsciously rubbing his cheek up and down
against Mr. Ardel’s shirt. He rubbed against his chest, desperate to feel him.
He was desperate to have his arms around him, his heat, his body.



He was crushed within his embrace, but it still wasn’t enough. He clung to him,
his fingers biting into his back as he clutched with desperation. He could hear
Ardel calling to him, whispering his name, and pressing his face against his neck.
Brendon continued to rub his cheek against him. He continued to cling to him
and cry.

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A

amor my deer

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Oct 18, 2013
108
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Brendon cried harder the moment he was in his arms, and Joshua could feel his raw desperation. He made a low noise of pleasure as Brendon grasped him and squirmed against his grasp trying to feel more.



His body was heating... hardening as the boy continued... affecting him so greatly. Brendon nuzzled against his cheek



[color=083901]“Shh...”[/color] he coaxed him gently and reached for his head to bring him down against his chest. [color=083901]“Please don’t cry...”[/color] Joshua whispered and moved his hand down to his back to soothingly trail up and down.



Joshua could feel his animalistic side trying to come out... but he restrained himself... and forced himself to remain in control. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life...



Brendon unknowingly had such power over him... enough to make him lose completely control within... a heart beat... and that is what... he was fighting against now.







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A

amaranthine

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
112
<div align=center>

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ●
<div style="text-align:justify; padding-top:0px; padding-bottom:0px; padding-left:15px; padding-right:15px; width: 380px; font-size: 11px; color: #000000;">

“Shh…,” Mr. Ardel coaxed him… his voice gentle but still so deep, still so easily
effecting him. “Please don’t cry…”



Brendon continued to sob softly, unable to stop… He continued to cling to him, to
rub against his chest… snuggling against him while he clung to him so tightly. He
could feel his hand moving up and down his back in a soothing manner.



But, Brendon couldn’t stop… He couldn’t stop crying. He sobbed and moved
against him, unable to settle down… his body trembling with the raw effects of
being within his arms. Being able to finally feel him… his warmth… Have his scent
all over him… his body wrapped around him…



Brendon clutched onto him tighter, his fingers digging into the material of his shirt
at his back. He couldn’t stop rubbing… He couldn’t stop crying. He was making his
shirt wet… wet with his tears. But, he still couldn’t stop…

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A

amor my deer

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
108
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Brendon... wouldn’t lower... and instead continued squirming against him. His movements were arousing him and he could feel himself losing control. His breathing became off and his heart began pounding heavier.



[color=083901] “Brendon...”[/color] he tried to speak to him more firmly, but without raising his voice too loud... Joshua was still aware of where they were and that his mother would soon grow suspicious.



Brendon... felt so good... and he did not want to release him. But their situation left them little choice...



He gripped Brendon’s shoulder with his arm and forced him back so they could face each other.



Joshua faltered... when Brendon stared at him... his gaze filling with complete devastation as he was forcefully separated from him. It hurt him...to see Brendon... so upset...



He drew him close to his body once more... and kept him close. His heart was still beating so heavily, his body so warm and affected.



Joshua wanted Brendon to remain in his arms... and that want only intensified when he saw how much that meant to Brendon as well.



[color=083901] “I don’t want to let you go...”[/color] he admitted softly... and held him close.



Joshua squeezed him tighter and nuzzled back against him... feeling so torn. He couldn’t release him... but they would eventually be caught... and there would be severe consequences for them both.



[color=083901] “Your mother will come soon...and she’ll try to separate us...”[/color]



Joshua... wanted... to take Brendon and leave with him. But there was no where safe he could take him...





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A

amaranthine

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
112
<div align=center>

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ●
<div style="text-align:justify; padding-top:0px; padding-bottom:0px; padding-left:15px; padding-right:15px; width: 380px; font-size: 11px; color: #000000;">

“Brendon…,” Mr. Ardel called to him firmly. And then, unexpectedly, he severed
most of their contact. With a firm press to his shoulder, he forced him away from
him. Brendon filled with devastation and a desperateness to stay where he was.
But, just as quickly… he found himself being brought back against him.



Brendon cuddled and nuzzled him further, keeping his fingers curled into the
material of his shirt as he clung to his back. He didn’t want to pull away. He
didn’t want to separate. He wasn’t going to… He refused to…



“I don’t want to let you go…,” Mr. Ardel told him and held him tightly, held him
closer. He could feel him nuzzling back… and the feeling made him so warm…
so hot… and more desperate. He nuzzled back against him, feeling so needy…
wanting so much.



“Your mother will come soon… and she’ll try to separate us…”



He was still crying… silent tears slipping down his cheeks. He was no longer
sobbing, no longer making noise. But, his hold on him didn’t relent. He continued
to cling to him, to clutch onto him tightly. He wouldn’t let go… He wasn’t going to…

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A

amor my deer

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
108
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Joshua closed his eyes... and felt himself... becoming dazed by Brendon obvious affection. He had never been intimate with anyone... and so the sensation... was overwhelming for him. He pushed his fingers through his hair and gently began combing through to further sooth him. All of this felt so perfect... but he was still aware of the outside world...



[color=083901]“What do you want Brendon?” [/color] Joshua asked him softly and pulled his head back so they could see one another. [color=083901] “If you stay with me now then I’ll have to take you away from here."[/color] He told him truthfully.



[color=083901]"But, if you do not wish to worry your mother, then I can pretend I'm leaving and immediately return to your window and I will stay for as long as you'll have me."[/color] Joshua whispered and slowly took him in as he stroked away some of his tears.



He was so beautiful.







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A

amaranthine

Well-Known Member
Inactive
Oct 18, 2013
112
<div align=center>

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'M STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, CHAINED BY THIS FEAR INSIDE
and i'm being drawn to you.
● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ● ● • • • ● ●
<div style="text-align:justify; padding-top:0px; padding-bottom:0px; padding-left:15px; padding-right:15px; width: 380px; font-size: 11px; color: #000000;">

Brendon continued to nuzzle against him, feeling Mr. Ardel’s fingers sifting through
his hair and gently stroking him. His body was so large, so hot, and his scent was
everywhere… intoxicating him. He didn’t want to leave his arm… He didn’t want to
pull away. He had… finally taken what he had wanted. He had given in…



And the feeling… the feelings… were extraordinary.



“What do you want Brendon?” He was being asked… and
Mr. Ardel placed his hand against his cheek... to tilt his head up so they could stare
at one another.



“If you stay with me now then I’ll have to take you away from here.” Mr. Ardel
continued. “But, if you do not wish to worry your mother, then I can pretend I’m
leaving and immediately return to your window and I will stay for as long as you’ll
have me.”



Mr. Ardel was trying to bring reality back to him. But, he didn’t want to think
about any of that right now. If he did, everything would crush him. If he did… he
would have to let go. And then he would have to face the consequences of his
actions.



Right now, he just wanted to hold him. He needed more time… It wasn’t long
enough. It hadn’t been long enough… Not yet… He didn’t want to pull away yet…

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