Shay sat at her computer, scrolling through websites about colleges around Europe and the USA. She might have looked into something off in Asia, but the country didn't intrigue her enough to want to spend her college years there. She'd looked into a few high schools, too, boarding schools to be exact.
Shay had been spending more and more time in her room. Alone with books, papers, and drawings, which cluttered her desk and bed. Hung up over her computer was the old picture of her parents, holding her as a newborn. Shay could glance up and see it, and she did so often, though it brought her more anxiety than it did comfort.
Not many people in the Rosales household came into Shay's room, for which she was glad. At some point after the Halloween even, in a fit of rage Shay had torn down some of the lightings on her wall along with posters and pictures which she'd never bothered to clean up.
She rested her cheek in one of her palms, leaning sideways as she stared at the college website on her computer screen. Since finding out more about her powers, Shay had been wondering what to do about them. She'd been selfish because she wanted so badly to feel people's warmth, even knowing it was fading. Everyone left sooner or later, generally sooner where she was concerned.
The solution was pretty simple. Move far, far away. Keep in touch, but the distance was safe. Paper or emails were safe. She was not safe. She ruined things. She was a bad kid. Twisted. Sick. Needy. Terrible. Too much work. The sooner she could get away and keep people safe, be alone, stop holding on -- things would be better then. People would be safer. She wouldn't fuck things up. Shay wouldn't have to pretend to be strong, to not cry, or to hold it all in.
She sighed, clicked from one tab to another, a boarding school off in London. Mistakes. She had made so many mistakes. Shay had promised herself she wouldn't get close, wouldn't mess things up. She'd done so fucking good before becoming a Rosales. Kept her nose mostly in her own business. Faded away to the back, where no one knew or saw. It was so much easier when you were where you belonged.
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