Be Good for Goodness' Sake: A Belsnickel Story

@Fletcher @Zeronos @Bowen @Saryn @Porky @Amiable Ghost @beloved

The dusty old basement classroom loomed deathly silent and dark as the masses of patient students parted and the door opened from the outside. A single lamp flame arose from its slumber, and the gnarled hand that lit the wick delicately placed a bowl of old-fashioned hard candies and taffy on the teacher's desk.

Professor Belsnickel ran his callused fingers through the white and yellow dust in the chalk tray with a scowl. Pushing his glasses up with the tip of his blighted fingernail, he held a parchment near to the light, pushing it back and forth until it was just in focus for his venerable, weakened eyes.

"To-day is the day, Nick. Today, we have quiet. Today, we have discipline. Yes, they will learn."

He flattened the attendance sheet against the desk, and dipped his ancient quill in the now-flowing black inkwell. With anticipation, as wayward students filed into his classroom, he checked the names on his list.

The soliloquy of righteousness boiled over impatiently in his mind.

"They will learn."

As the students settled into their desks, the professor crossed their names off his list, bitterly (but classroom-appropriately) whispering curses for those names who were not crossed.

After a length, he neatly wiped the tip of the quill with a cheesecloth, and set it lengthwise in the pencil tray. Then he stood, surveying his motley crew, clearing his throat. As the students continued to chatter, a quiet foot-tapping sound could be heard, and at last he took his stained fingernails to the chalkboard, and let forth such a horrendous screech, that at last, after protests, no creature made a sound but to breathe.

In the brief, precious silence, he spoke.

"I don't presuppose that I must tell each one of you why you are here."

"No, you know very well what sort of concerns our vigilant staff must have to bring you to this session. It is no mere matter of bean-counting; several students with missed detentions have been assigned alternative punishments in lieu of serving time."

With this, he strode forward, around his desk, to stand in front of it, and tapped his cane once firmly on the floorboards.

"You are here because you are ingrates. The words you speak are vile, your self-importance embodies itself in troublemaking,"

— here he soundly struck the floorboards with the foot of his cane,

"disrespect," *knock*
"rabble-rousing," *knock*
"tardiness," *knock*
"and absenteeism." *knock*

"But you will all be here, and present today, because you have forgotten what it means to love your neighbor, and you disgrace..."

He paused, before his quivering voice escalated to shouting.

"You disgrace these holidays! And you disgrace yourselves."

With another pause, he surveyed the room, stopping briefly to make eye contact with Carl.

"You will sit here until the time appointed of you. You will not sleep at your desks, you will not read books that are not assigned to you, and you will have--"

He snapped to make eye contact with Genevieve, and with a commanding voice bellowed,

"BOTH FEET on the floor. Or all of them if you have more than two."

He sniffed, and paused quietly, as if forgetting something. Finally, he smiled grimly.

"And if you can make it through this whole session without reprimand, you will find my favorite candies from my travels at the front of the classroom, by my lectern. A small light at the end of this long, dark, filthy tunnel. Are we understood?"

And before waiting for an answer, he said, "Good." and turned out the door with a slam.

As the students settled into their desks, the professor crossed their names off his list, bitterly (but classroom-appropriately) whispering curses for those names who were not crossed.

After a length, he neatly wiped the tip of the quill with a cheesecloth, and set it lengthwise in the pencil tray. Then he stood, surveying his motley crew, clearing his throat. As the students continued to chatter, a quiet foot-tapping sound could be heard, and at last he took his stained fingernails to the chalkboard, and let forth such a horrendous screech, that at last, after protests, no creature made a sound but to breathe.

In the brief, precious silence, he spoke.

"I don't presuppose that I must tell each one of you why you are here."

"No, you know very well what sort of concerns our vigilant staff must have to bring you to this session. It is no mere matter of bean-counting; several students with missed detentions have been assigned alternative punishments in lieu of serving time."

With this, he strode forward, around his desk, to stand in front of it, and tapped his cane once firmly on the floorboards.

"You are here because you are ingrates. The words you speak are vile, your self-importance embodies itself in troublemaking,"

— here he soundly struck the floorboards with the foot of his cane,

"disrespect," *knock*
"rabble-rousing," *knock*
"tardiness," *knock*
"and absenteeism." *knock*

"But you will all be here, and present today, because you have forgotten what it means to love your neighbor, and you disgrace..."

He paused, before his quivering voice escalated to shouting.

"You disgrace these holidays! And you disgrace yourselves."

With another pause, he surveyed the room, stopping briefly to make eye contact with Carl.

"You will sit here until the time appointed of you. You will not sleep at your desks, you will not read books that are not assigned to you, and you will have--"

He snapped to make eye contact with Genevieve, and with a commanding voice bellowed,

"BOTH FEET on the floor. Or all of them if you have more than two."

He sniffed, and paused quietly, as if forgetting something. Finally, he smiled grimly.

"And if you can make it through this whole session without reprimand, you will find my favorite candies from my travels at the front of the classroom, by my lectern. A small light at the end of this long, dark, filthy tunnel. Are we understood?"

And before waiting for an answer, he said, "Good." and turned out the door with a slam.

A dark mist gathered in the air as the lamp light flickered, then finally with a spurt of smoke, extinguished.

Then, the door whisked open, and a beat after, slammed shut.

With a snap, a single branch broke from the potted hickory tree behind the desk, and fell to the ground.

Suddenly, screaming echoed through the back of the classroom as vines began to crawl up the floor, up the legs of the desks, menacing with golden sharp thorns. A wind blew through the front of the classroom, rumpling Carl's clothes, and then everything grew deathly silent again.

There was a pause, and all knew that the classroom was not as unwatched as it seemed...

"WHO DARES TAKE FROM ME WHAT IS NOT HIS?" the voice bellowed in chastisement.

"Carl Batemen. I suppose you can add THIEF to you list of accolades now," echoed the disembodied, growling voice, as the fallen hickory branch floated ominously towards him. "You are a creature of unbridled hubris. Covetous. A liar and a deciever. A child in a man's body."

The vines on the floor slithered toward Carl's ankles.

"You will not learn your place in one evening, Kael'Thias. But you will be taught."

Swiftly the branches and vines swirled into an enormous lash, and struck Carl firmly in the square center of his back with an enormous thundercrack.