Private Finished Talk Me Through It

Romi

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ANGELO GENOVESE

Truth be told, Angelo probably should have had this talk a long time ago. He and Alma had started on a positive (but weird) note, and while their relationship was very positive, it wasn't like they actually had identical tastes or anything. Alma had always leaned more on the monster side of things, and from the moment Alma had gotten the ability to shapeshift, Angelo had felt like eventually, he was going to have to grow a pair and actually talk to her about it.

Because that was what he was supposed to be doing right then: talking to her about it. Or planning too, anyway. Angelo was home alone, he'd invited Alma over, and he was in the process of making some food for them. He wasn't a master chef, but his dad did own a restaurant, and he'd picked up a few tips along the way. He could manage something simple for them, and he figured food was probably a good way to start things off.


 

Kada

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Alma had a feeling as she made her way to Angelo's house, something gnawing at the back of her mind that this wasn't just a date. The way he'd mentioned how happy she had looked in his text back.

It made her wonder if something was wrong. They hadn't gotten to spend a ton of time together since he had graduated to a full-time scout.

She knocked on the door, stepping back to clutch the hem of her shirt. She was in her new form, but part of her was wondering if she should have come in the form he was more used to.
 

Romi

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ANGELO GENOVESE

Alma was no doubt suspicious about his wording because it was suspicious wording. He hadn't said she looked nice or anything like that because Angelo really didn't want to lie to her, and truth be told that while he felt like she could probably be considered objectively pretty, the changes were... less his taste. He had to remind himself pretty regularly that it was Alma, and a part of him was hoping that the issue would simply resolve itself when she was around. She'd still have the same mannerisms, and that would help, and maybe he wouldn't have to do the talk at all.

Only of course he was going to have to do the talk. He'd already put it off too long because he was, right then, a little bit of a coward.

That was the only explanation he had for why they hadn't already had a talk like this. Pure out and out cowardice.

But it was a relief when he opened the door to find her new form. If nothing else, he'd have some time to adjust, and he reminding himself it was Alma yet again as his face lit up, gesturing for her to come inside.

"We've got five minutes before food comes out of the oven, but then it's going to have to cool a bit before we can eat," Angelo said as he closed the door behind her. "Just something I learned to make from the chef at work."

 

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Alma stepped inside and smiled at Angelo, brushing her hair off to her side. Yup. She could smell the tension. The apprehension. The garlic and herbs. Something was up and they were going to have a serious talk.

"I can't wait. I don't think you've cooked for me yet. So it'll be a new experience."

As she made her way inside, Alma felt the buzzing in the back of her head, urging her to rip the band aid off. Just ask him what was wrong. She had an idea. The thing she'd been dreading ever since she sent the picture.

Her mind went back to the other conversation they had had. The one that had made her heart flutter so much for him. That he loved her for her, and not because she could change her form to be whatever sexy thing he wanted.

Still tugging at the hem of her shirt, Alma wrapped her feathered wings around her waist. And before she knew to stop herself, she blurted it out.

"You hate it, don't you? This new look. No wait. I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I mean it's what I was thinking but... It's not what I meant."
 

Romi

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ANGELO GENOVESE

Angelo was on his way back to the kitchen when Alma spoke. He hesitated, took a deep breath, and then turned, taking it all in. He didn't mind the feathered wings, honestly. They were normal. Pretty. He'd gotten used to things on the island, and while once upon a time he'd been bothered by even mild things (strange eyes, horns, wings), now it took something really big to throw him off.

Something a lot like what Alma liked. Not really what she was doing, but what she seemed to want to be doing.

Or at least what he thought she wanted to be doing.

Angelo swallowed hard at her question.

"No!" He protested, which was mostly true. "No, I don't hate it." And he didn't. He didn't really like it, but he didn't hate it either. Alma's aura had never bothered him—probably because he was so used to being drowned in his father's aura—but right then he sort of wished it did. It would make the whole talk so much easier if he had someone sitting on his shoulder giving him a little push along the way. "I just..."

He took another deep breath, trying to pull himself together. Trying to find the right words. "I feel like... I'm holding you back. Like this change was something you wanted, but you're just... dipping your toe in because you didn't want to do something that would upset me."

 

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Now it was Alma's turn to listen, and she wasn't sure where to start. This was the problem with her aura sometimes: she had too many different directions to pull herself in. If she had multiple mouths, they all would have started talking at once for sure. All saying different things.

"Holding me back? Angie - Angelo - give me a little credit."

She scoffed as she said that, her tsil unwrapping from around her waist to flick around agitatedly. Like a cat. Alma's hand slid up to squeeze her other arm, hugging herself as she fought with her own head for what to say next.

"I know my tastes are weird. Even for Manta Carlos. I freaked out that guy... Milo? The werewolf with all the eyes? He tried to hide it, but you can't hide those changes from a nose as good as mine. And I didn't even like. Come onto him or anything. I just told him I thought he was attractive like that - thought it might make him feel better or. I don't know."

Another grumble. She was rambling again. Losing the thread in the stream of consciousness buzzing in her head and falling right out of her mouth.
 

Romi

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ANGELO GENOVESE

Okay, deep breath. What Angelo needed right then was to—at least metaphorically—not be in the situation. To be treating the situation like Alma was just a friend and he was just giving her advice and not maybe torching his own relationship.

Which he was. Angelo was under no delusions about that.

"The issue isn't that they're weird," Angelo said. It really wasn't. The island was full of weird things, and liking them... Well, not that weird. "I just feel like..."

Angelo stopped, took a deep breath, and tried again, a bit more composed.

"I feel like you really like—well, it's not the best word but it's the only thing I can think of—monsters, and you wish you could be more like that, but you're holding yourself back because you don't want to freak me out. Because... well, because you know I'm not into that sort of thing. I know it's your choice, it just... feels that way. A lot."

 

Kada

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Alma breathed. It was the best that she could do when her own emotions were running high to keep the static in check. At least in a moment like this. She hugged herself, coiling her tail down her left leg. She felt awful, honestly. Articulating why wasn't going to be easy, but she needed to try.

"I mean, I want to have sex with monsters, Angelo. Being monstrous, that's just... I like the aesthetic. I like the... feeling. I feel powerful, even though I'm not any more than normal. And that makes me feel sexy. But I also want you to think I'm sexy. And I mean, that's kind of what all relationships are, aren't they? People making compromises with one another because they love each other? Because seeing you happy makes me happy?"

As she spoke, Alma shifted, slowly at first, back to what she knew was the more familiar form for Angelo. The normal, human legs that felt decidedly bare in her shorts with no shoes or socks. Eye colors normal, if not natural. No horns to cover her decidedly over-sized elf ears. The feathered wings retracted back and vanished into her hips.

"I'm not unhappy like this, Angelo. This is what's familiar to me. I don't have some kind of monster dysphoria."
 

Romi

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ANGELO GENOVESE

It was a mess. It was such a mess. The fact that Alma was looking more and more like what he thought of as herself was particularly damning to him, because it meant she was probably uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than she looked, anyway.

"I didn't— I mean, I know you don't. I just feel like..." He stopped, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. Trying to figure out how he was even supposed to say it. There wasn't really a parallel in anything he'd read because why would there be? No one else had an issue like this.

Maybe that was what he needed to talk about.

"I think this is a... a me problem. Because anyone else who I hear talking about shapeshifting... everyone wants that. Like, having a girlfriend who can shapeshift is... that's the dream."

Except not to him. Just to everyone else with.

"It's not about you being unhappy the way you are, it's about... you being allowed to be happy by exploring this sort of thing."

 

Kada

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Alma... did not like the way this was going one bit. She didn't like the way he said that it was a 'me problem,' referring to himself like that. The words spilled out of her mouth with the string of static before she could stop herself from saying them.

"Are you breaking up with me, Angelo?"

And Alma immediately regretted it. Because if he hadn't been thinking about breaking up, he certainly was now. And now he'd think that she wanted that. She twisted her face up a bit, immediately trying to backpedal into something else.

"No that - I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I just. I'm afraid of this thing that I am driving people away, making them afraid or disgusted by me. Like oh look at the fucking weirdo fetishising people."

She took a few steps towards Angelo, not sure if he actually wanted her close but wanting to be near him anyway for the comfort and security she felt with him.

"I wish I'd never wished for this stupid power... it's just done nothing but cause me fucking problems."
 
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