Private Finished Returning Patient: Oluremi

Did Remi never tell Dr. Bryndísarson how her species worked with elementalists? No, she never did. Remi was always wary about telling people that information in case they used it against her. That shouldn't be a problem with Dr. Bryndísarson though. He's been her therapist for a while now and controlled no element. It was about time he knew that vulnerability about herself.

"I know this sounds like a stupid excuse, so... uh... sorry. I mean... I didn't need to say yes. He wasn't really commanding me. Like... with my species, we're supposed to serve elementalists, and elementalists that can control the elements we are can command us. Like, someone who can control Earth can make me do what they want. So I felt like I was going against... everything if I told him no. He wasn't commanding me... but I didn't want to feel like I was betraying anybody."

The explanation was awkward, and really, it was an excuse. As long as she wasn't being commanded to do something, she didn't need to do it. But from the moment she met Tai, it felt like he was a close friend. A friend who was annoyingly cocky at first, but a friend who later offered her a job to help her out of a problem. It was her first job too! It was something special that she needed to stay committed to.

Remi regretted bringing up the subject now. She understood the island's views towards servitude and how human-centric it was. That was mainly the reason she avoided the subject entirely.

"I don't... I try not. It just makes every elementalist feel like a close friend. Really trustworthy. I mean, nothing bad has happened, so I'm fine. Like, we're made to serve elementalists, so it's kind of necess—" She cut herself off, knowing that if she continued that Dr. Bryndísarson would look at her like she was crazy.

"Uh, anyways, I don't... mind quitting." She frowned. "I don't want it to be like I'm betraying Tai... or that I can't handle my first job... but... It's fine."

That actually worked? Remi expected Dr. Bryndísarson to keep pushing and her to keep retreating. Then he let the subject be changed. Remi wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that. She wanted to figure out a way to prevent that part of her from invading her life so much, but if she did, that would be seen as her going against her reason for living. It was probably for the best that they didn't talk about it. That was a topic for another session.

"Y-Yeah. I thought two jobs would be good 'cause bills and stuff. I know I'll be a strain on the water, and I'll need to buy myself a lot of food. I wanted to live with Eon because he's a close friend... and... uh... Everyone on the island feels too distant. I at least feel like I can be closer to Eon without him getting uncomfortable. I mean... he is a cat." She gave an airy, awkward laugh. "But it works out. Or... Would a dorm be able to find me the perfect match? Like, someone who's okay with physical affection and a lot of talking?"

It felt like a weird thing to ask, but on an island of mostly introverts, it felt necessary. Remi couldn't just lay herself on anyone or hug them at random, and really, she didn't want to do all of that. Just someone who could appreciate her needs to socialize and find physical affection.

That actually sounded really nice. Something she would definitely consider if things didn't go according to plan. "I think I'll do that if things with me and Eon don't work out. I've heard about how roommating can strain a friendship, but I really think it'll work out." More like she desperately wanted to avoid telling Eon that there was a last minute change of plans. She already had to deal with what she was going to say to Tai.

"Um, I guess we can go to the next thing on my list. I think it's something about Arjean? Or... yeah, I don't remember the order I put my list in. Sorry. I know I have a lot on there, so I'm trying to just... speed through it... kind of."

She fidgeted with her hands and looked down at the floor, then at the clock, wondering how much time had passed. Surprisingly, not a lot. But Remi always felt like therapy was set in a dimension where time moved differently. Things were either too fast, or more commonly, too slow. This was going to be another session where she tried and failed to shake the feeling of breaking an important rule and being incompetent. That was a feeling she was used to, but for some reason, it was always worse whenever she stepped into Dr. Bryndísarson's office.

"R-Right..." Now that it was Remi's turn to talk, she realized she didn't have anything planned. "I was just worried I wouldn't be able to babysit them. I've been taking care of them since forever, and, uh... I mean... I—" Remi managed to cut herself off before she stuttered and sputtered more. Nothing she was saying was making sense, but if she wasn't careful enough, she would make Dr. Bryndísarson suspicious of her family.

An airy laugh, then a forced nervous smile. "Sorry, I'm just having trouble... thinking. Uh, I guess I don't have any big concerns? I mean... I'm probably just being overly protective. They're turning five tomorrow actually, so I think I'm just having trouble detaching myself from the, uh, big sister mindset? I'm not sure how much I'll be able to see them if I move out. I don't want them to think or be told I betrayed my family either."

Every word that came out of Remi's mouth made her cringe. Everything she said was sloppily strung together, and she knew it was obvious that she was leaving stuff out or downplaying things, but none of it felt like a lie. She was worried that Béatrice would tell Arjean that she left the family. That she'd be kept from babysitting Arjean because then she'd tried to take them too. That was just how Béatrice thought. It was always black and white. You versus her. Really, Remi wished she didn't mention the topic at all and moved onto something completely different.