Rethinking

Judas turned to her, his eyes tired, as if he hadn't slept for decades.
"I know your pain, it is the thing that tells you that you yet live! It makes me quite angry that you glow with a human soul, a mere girl I barely know, though I am an empty vessel! I can see it now! Within you! Millions of points of golden light, glowing all over your body like some beautiful vision! I see it in beggars, in vampires, in women, men, children, I see it fade when I kill something. And to think I, the worthiest of all, am empty of this divine soul, it is madness!"
He held out his hands, staring at them.
"Dead! Pale and white! There is no light in them! On that day I was given the sight to see God's creations, given the sight to see the human soul as a punishment, because mine had long since died. You are as beautiful as the rest of humanity. And it tires me...it always has. You can return to the place where such human souls came...Your sister is there, I assure you. But I have no future after death, my soul is already gone. My only future is nothingness."

Judas smiled at her.
"I look at your face and I see thousands of points of glowing light, just there, beneath the surface! In everyone, a brilliant, beautiful soul...I thought it was hallucination at first...but I realized as I watched the light leave those who were dying and shimmer up into the sky, I realized that it was not. Your sister's soul is where yours shall go, one day when the time is right."
He paused.
"Yet, the light is not is in me, it sputters everyday, it does not show itself at all. Truly a pity, but I don't really mind...After a while one gets used to it."

Judas smiled.
"I live, an empty shell...Where you and all the other souls return from which they came, I will simply cease to exist, descend into nothingness, since I haven't a soul, those glimmering points of golden light you seem to glow with."
Judas chuckled.
"And frankly, it wastes me away everyday...I think my powers are connected to it...Everyday I feel less and less. I don't hate, or love...Though sometimes I feel like I do, sometimes..."
His eyes seemed distant and tired.

Judas smiled.
"Perhaps, if someone had such a power, though you must realize, I deserve this, my soul was lost, I lost it because of my actions. It would be selfish of me to take the light of another human, like some crude vampire or something."

Judas smiled, laying his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm sure you will, I'm sure you will. Stop thinking of such things though, the female kindness within you and the golden light that sparkles within you makes you feel sympathy for me and other living beings in pain, but do not. I only told you of my secret to cheer you up anyway. I am not one who enjoys or deserves pity. I am fundamentally evil."
He smirked.