Private Finished Picture Not Perfect, But Beautiful

Eve was slowly drifting to a bad, dark place where he knew he wouldn't be able to get out from for several days if he let it happen. Eve tried to fight the tide pulling him over but the tide was all his emotional stress and burden at the moment, and somehow Eve was tired. He was looking down, still hugging his knees on the floor, not finding the courage to look up at Jake again. To feel that small spark of hope. It hurt worse than any rejection.

But when Jake spoke his words still had the power to cut through the mist and reach Eve, and when he heard what the boy said Eve looked up. Jake's tone pricked at Eve's heart and made him want to cry again. Eve's eyes widened a bit as he looked at Jake's face, and Eve slowly stood up and took a step closer, wanting to get closer. But Eve stopped at one step. He couldn't get closer. Not yet
"I...no, I do not think you would lie to me. But my...I'm..."
Eve looked down, and a tear fell from his eye. He had to say it, tell Jake it wasn't his fault. It was...all Eve.
"I'm...I'm broken, Jake. My mind...lies to me. I know my feelings for you...are not a lie. They're too powerful to be. But I...don't want to hurt you. Everytime I see you hurt it hurts me too. If I was the cause of that hurt...I wouldn't forgive myself."
Eve slowly and carefully wiped the tear away with the back of his hand, and looked at it briefly. It wasn't fire. It was just...a tear. A tear with so many feelings packed into it. Eve looked at Jake again, really looked at him. And felt the spark of hope. Again it hurt him, it threatened to set Eve on fire.
What would happen if he let that fire engulf himself?

Somehow the way Jake used past tense in his last words...cut Eve deep. Like it was over, like it was too late. Eve let his thoughts wander for a second, he let himself dream of a future where...they could be together. Eve saw it so quickly and clearly it was painful, and the thought made him so happy it was terrifying. Did he deserve it? T be happy like that? A voice in Eve's mind yelled no, a murderer like him did not deserve happiness. He had to atone, to see his sins through by living a life of isolation and loneliness. Eve was not worthy of love, would never be. His friends' blood was in his hands, and their hatred haunted him.
But Eve knew it wasn't true. He was not void of blame, but Eve's friends would never hate him over what happened. It was all...Them.
Eve imagined the voice in his head was Them, still torturing him even to this day. Preventing him from being free, from being happy. And that filled Eve with strange determination. He knew it was temporary, all the negativity would return later. But for now he had the courage to look at Jake's face, and step slightly closer. Eve still did not touch him, but he wasn't looking away. Another tear fell, Eve did not wipe it away.
"If...if I were to say I...want to be with you...what would be your answer? Because..."
Courage or not, Eve had to lower his gaze a bit and he was staring at Jake's chest when he said his nexg words, blushing slightly. His voice was barely discernable.
"...I want that..."

Eve flinched a bit when Jake wiped his tear away, but he did not move or look away. He looked in Jake's eyes, listened to his words, and felt such sorrow when he said he was broken as well. Eve had known Jake wasn't completely fine, that just like in him there was something broken inside him. Many people were broken, whether they were aware of it. And yet...
People were beautiful.
Eve wanted to help Jake regain some of Jake's shards and fix even a small part of him. And perhaps...fix some parts of himself as well.
When Jake tried to lighten the air that was surrounding them Eve did smile slightly, weakly but he did. Eve knew Jake would probably never fail to make him smile.
"Even the toughest person cannot survive without something lean on now and then."
Eve muttered, half without realizing it.

Eve often said he was immune to awkwardness, and even now he was still overwhelmed to be feeling anything like that. But when he and Jake looked each other in the eyes a thought passed Eve's mind, that many people could've called this an awkward moment. And it passed when Jake answered Eve's question, and Eve could feel his heart lighten, nearly gain wings. There was still doubt, there would always be doubt. But for now Eve tried to accept that he and Jake possibly shared similar feelings.
Eve raised his other hand to wipe his slightly moist cheeks and answered Jake's slight smile with his own. Eve nodded a bit, and looked down briefly. He started reaching his hand towards Jake's but stopped midway. He didn't want to do anything to ruin this, and if he took Jake's hand the boy could only back away. Eve didn't want that.
"Then...I want...to be with you..."
Eve blushed slightly, unable to look Jake in the face.