lost and forgotten

Arima wandered out to the lawn. It was the first time he was truly alone.. Here at the academy.. he knew no one. Which made him feel more alone than usual. Maybe Arima always felt that way before but just couldn't remember.. Who knew? Even his grandfather didn't know him too well before the.. 'accident'.

Arima sat down on the soft grass under a tree. Why couldn't he remember? It was the question that stuck in Arima's brain.. Maybe some part of him actually didn't want to. The green eyed boy turned his head slightly to watch the other students pass by. Why couldn't he just be just like the rest?

If there was only one people that could help Arima remember.. He would be so grateful. But he didn't believe anyone could. What Arima believes was that his memory was going to be forever lost and forgotten. If only someone from his past was here.. But in Arima's mind all of this would never happen.

Arima lifted up his head slightly looking directly at the girl now. "Hi." He said with a soft sigh. He glanced distractedly around before his eyes met hers again. "nothing." Arima answering her question. In a way Arima also had forgotten how to interact with others. It was strange.. The old Arima wasn't at all like this.. But this wasn't the old Arima..

Arima wanted to say something.. anything. But he just had this strange feeling. He let his bright green eyes linger away from hers. Not knowing at all what to say.

Arima depressed? "I seem depressed? Sorry?" He said, as if he had no idea what the word meant.. But he did. He just never thought he was. Maybe that was it.. he was just depressed.. But didn't that mean somehow he would get better? Didn't that mean he could just take pills for depression and everything was be ok.. Back to normal. But what was normal?

He didn't know.. He wanted someone to tell him. He wanted someone to tell him how the real Arima acted, how the real Arima did things. Arima shook his head. "I don't think I am.." He said finally, unsurely to the girl.

He then thought about the question.. are you okay? was he? No.. maybe.. he didn't know this either. He honestly couldn't say.

Arima buried his face in his hands. Yes confused was the right word. Arima looked up at her again, "Do you know what it's like to one day have everything and the next day have nothing..." He said, then he mumbled "of course you don't.." Why was he talking to this girl? She didn't care about his problems nobody did.

To lose all memory of his family, his friends, anybody he had ever met. It was gone zip.. Didn't exist.

"yeah, I'm fine. Forget what I said, ok?" Arima said, he didn't want to get into this not now and he had already said too much and Arima didn't like sharing his problems with others.. or getting help from others or sharing feelings with others. Arima all around didn't like talking about anything that had to do with him.

"Excuse me.."

He felt someone tap him on the shoulder, then he suddenly got a very odd feeling. He turned to the girl meeting eye to eye, he then stared for a moment with no reaction. "Yes?" Now he was looking at her somewhat suspiciously, "yeah I'm Arima." he said, He looked away from her and looked at the other girl wondering if she knew what was going on.

Arima then studied the girl waiting for her to speak again. She looked as if she were going to cry or something, Arima hated to see anyone cry so he felt uneasy.

It wasn't just that Arima felt uneasy it was something else too. Something more. He didn't understand it. It was like he could feeling himself remembering something but.. What?