losing control ;

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I suppose you could say that Nina-Kai thought maybe.. a hike would possible help her chances of being avoided… Nina was so desperately trying to stay away from others.. students, anyone and everyone. She was afraid of what could happen if she let herself be around others. If only for a second she let down her guard.. Nina could lose control and become someone else… someone else meaing “bad Nina” that is.

I can't lose control again, Nina thought to herself quietly.

The small girl continued her hike. Nina was quite thin and short.. her face also looked quite young… giving her the appearance of thirteen year old girl but actually she much older then just that…. Try more like seventeen.
 
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Lucas groaned, not knowing at all why he decided against himself to go walking around. He hated walking around during the day, much less in the mountains. But at least there was one good thing out of wandering the mountains: he was alone. Something he enjoyed much of. He was afterall, his own best friend. He sighed once again and continued walking, his hands stuffed in his pockets and kicking dirt as he walked.

Nothing was preventing him from going back and hiding away in his room, but he didn't turn around, and he had no idea why. It was like he wanted to go back, but at the same time he didin't. Lucas looked around and spotted someone else walking around the mountain. A girl. Just great, he just coulnd't be completely alone now could he. Now he really wanted to go back, but instead he stopped walking and leaned up against a large boulder, hopefully hiding somewhat from the girl.
 
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It wasn’t like Nina hated people or anything.. it was more like she was trying to keep herself away from them. She had a fear of people being afraid of her.. because of “Bad Nina” also known as her split personality.

Nina-Kai stopped and decided on taking a break. Her small fragile body got oh so easily tired. She sat down on the hard ground and looked up her eyes widened as she found herself looking at a stranger rather near by. Nina frowned as she crossed her arms hugging herself.. she was frightened.. Nina was so easily scared… it was one of those things about her that couldn’t be helped. But wait… it seemed as though he was the one hiding from her.

The shy, frightened, small girl stood still... just staring.. just waiting..
 
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Lucas hit his head against the hard surface of the boulder, regretting why he ever came up to the mountains. Maybe his brain was trying to kill him subconsciously or something. Either way, he didn't want to be where he was, and yet he was too stupid, or just lazy, to leave. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on top of them, trying to focus on something and relax a bit.

But that was impossible. As Lucas stared at the path up ahead, he could see out of the corner of his pale blue eye that the girl he noticed earlier had noticed him. Just what he needed, some stupid girl to come up and start chatting away about herself and whatnot. But then he realized that this girl wasn't doing just that, she was doing the complete opposite. Instead of skipping up to him and talking to him, she was just standing there, staring. And staring. At first Lucas didn't mind, big whoop the girl was staring, but after a while of non-stop staring, it got kind of annoying. And a bit freaky.

Lucas had had enough, and usually he wasn't one to talk to others, or any form of interaction with people, but the girl was really annoying him so he looked over to her and shouted angrily, "What are you looking at?"
 
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His tone was harsh and he didn’t seem to be in the greatest of moods.. heck Nina didn’t even need to use her empathy to figure that one out and yet still.. The girl hugged herself tightly, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She said looking down, now she was more afraid of the boy then before. This was just great! Why did she even come? Nina could have just stayed locked up in her room… She didn’t want to get into any trouble and more importantly she didn’t want “Bad Nina” to come out. She was desperately trying to contain that side of her. She didn’t want anyone to know about it… more then anything that was what she feared.

Nina-Kai didn’t lift her gaze.. they remained fixed on the ground she was sitting on..
 
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“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Lucas glared at the girl curiously. She had quickly adverted her eyes to the ground she was sitting on. Was she afraid? That was the first time anyone had been afraid of Lucas. But the fact that she was a girl didn't matter because she was a girl, and and scaring a girl was just mean, and definitely didn't make Lucas happier. He could tell that she was more afraid of something else than him, but he didn't know what. And frankly, he didn't care. It was none of his business so why would get involved?

He looked away but would absentmindedly wander back to the girl, staring down at the ground, afraid. She reminded him a bit of his youngest sister, when she had gotten scared one time, and he was there to comfort her, unlike the rest of his family. They always said being afraid made you weak, which was why Melanie had toughed up quickly, not wanting at all to disappoint her parents, unlike Lucas. He snapped back to the present and quickly looked away form the girl and down at the ground, watching the small ants march in and out of the cracks.
 
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The small figured girl tugged on her pink-blond hair in an awkward manner. What to do? What to say? Was he angrier with her? Did she say something stupid? Nina-Kai twitched at the thought, I’m so stupid. she told herself and mentally gave herself a slap on the head. Why did she say anything in the first place? Nina stood up and wandered over to a tree and stood against it.. she did all this without looking over at him.

Could you blame her for being afraid? Because of her parents death… her sisters.. but she was far more afraid of herself more then anyone else. Nina was afraid of the cruel things she did in the past.. that is way she needed to keep her distance from others. It was not only for their sake but for hers also.

She continued to look down at the dirt ground. Her empathy began to kick in at this point, "I’m sorry if I upset you by being here." She said, sensing out those unwanted feelings. In Nina's book.. it was somehow always her fault and she never could just say sorry enough.
 
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Lucas grumbled lowly and continued to stare at the ants, occasionally squishing a few just because he was bored if anything. He looked up from his mini killing spree and noticed that the girl was now moving. He hoped she wasn't going to walk up to him and apologize again. He didn't care if she was sorry, because her saying sorry meant nothing to him. Instead, the girl walked over to a tree and leaned against it, avoiding complete eye contact with him. Wasn't what he expected but he'd take it. At least she wasn't talking nor looking at him. But then, why was he looking at her?

"I’m sorry if I upset you by being here."

Great, another apology. And not just any apology, it was the kind of apology that made him feel slightly guilty. Lucas' mom would use it on him and his siblings all the time to make them feel bad and do something nice for her. Now he was feeling the same towards that girl. Slightly guilty that she was afraid of him and trying to to look at him. And the fact that she reminded him of his little sister, the only one he got along with, didn't help at all. He hated apologizing, but he knew he had to so, with a whole lot of effort he said, "It's not you're fault."
 
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For a moment Nina’s bright blue eyes shot up at the words he had said, then quickly shot back down remembering that was what got her into this mess in the first place. It’s not... my fault? that was a first.. Nina might have smiled even if it wasn’t for the fact that she was still kind of afraid of him. Gosh, what was she even doing at this school acting the way she did? It was only a matter of time before something really bad happened to her. She was so small.. almost helpless even... so why was she in the mountains anyway? What she needed to do was stay out of the way for once because he was wrong.. it is her fault and it always will be.

Even if it really wasn’t.. somehow.. through some loopholes it was. Not that Nina minded.. she was so use to taking the blame.. even for the simplest things too. Apologizing could almost be considered a hobby with her.. When Nina’s parents died she said sorry to her siblings and when Nina’s sisters died? Well she said sorry to her brother.. Of course her sisters' death was in fact her fault..

"oh-oh-ok." She managed to say, then tried actually forming a sentence this time "You.. you um came here.. to be alone too though... right?" Nina said, figuring that this was obvious and she didn’t need her empathy to figure it.
 
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The girl had looked up at him for a moment, but then quickly looked back down, as if it was forbidden to look at him. Well that would probably be because he practically did forbid her form looking at him, well not intentionally. But that quick moment where he met his eyes with hers, he noticed her bright blue eyes with his extremely pale blue ones. If he didn't know any better, he'd say that the girl was his sister Melanie, but he knew it wasn't, since she looked completely different and was in the hospital, last time he checked.

"oh-oh-ok. You.. you um came here.. to be alone too though... right?"

Lucas shrugged, looking away from the girl. He knew for a fact that he was, and probably forever would be, anti-social. He didn't mind it actually, though sometimes it would affect him, but he'd never let it show. But in the end it didn't matter, because to the world, he was invisible. "Yeah, I guess so. Get wanted to get away.."
 
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