Lets Talk All Over Again

It had been a hard couple days. Not because of anything in particular happening, but because everything else had come together all at once. The council. The tournament. The maze.

But it was also the things that had happened before. The problem with having a perfect memory was that you had a perfect memory. Things didn't fade. The hurt and trauma was just as fresh as it had been when it first happened, and no amount of time would make things better. He had to actually address his problems head on before they'd get better, and that was easier said than done.

His conversation earlier that day with Morrigan rang in his ears just the same. He couldn't borrow other people's problems before he got himself in order. He wasn't in order. Not right then.

So he had to get things in order.

His first step was Liliana. It was easy enough to call her out, to ask her to meet him in the academy courtyard. Gyan had come with him, an ancient looking older Indian man who settled down on the bench beside Jude, content to watch the proceedings. He was emotional support, in so many words, and considering he'd been guiding Jude through the process of figuring out why his emotions were so awful lately, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at the decision Jude was making.

Gyan stayed sitting as Jude stood up, offering his hand to Liliana for a shake. He was used to treating the council like a business, because to a certain extent he'd slid things into that category in his head.

"Liliana," Jude said, "I just wanted to talk to you about council stuff, actually." She looked worried, and Jude wasn't going to beat around the bush. "It's not anything bad. But I have a lot of things going on, and I'm starting to second guess how well I'll be able to manage the workload of being president. I was actually going to ask if you wanted to... swap places, basically. Before the first meeting."

It probably did come across as pretty sudden, like he'd strived so hard for it and then backed down at the last moment. He supposed he sort of had, but there were a lot of other details that Liliana wasn't privy too.

"I actually had only planned to go as far as secretary," Jude admitted. "Auditor at the absolute highest. But some stuff came up, and I didn't feel comfortable not trying for the top, so I went for it. Only now I'm looking at it, and wondering if I'm going to be able to manage. I feel like you might do a better job with the presidency, and I might do better as... the man behind the woman, in this case."

Maybe there'd been some wisdom to his father's rule from the shadows ideal.

It seemed like they'd both expected nothing and been surprised by the results. "I'm not going to force you," Jude said, "but I think if you took the position now, you'd be able to be guided through how things are done. They're used to having presidents who are serving their first time on the council, after all."

He didn't want her to take it just for his benefit. He wanted her to want it, and he wasn't sure if she even did.

Liliana wasn't quite looking at him a lot of the time. Her eyes seemed to drift away, and while it wasn't quite the same, it sort of reminded him a lot of Clarence. Looking past people, at things they couldn't see, rather than actually looking at them.

Looking at... what, a spirit?

Something like that.

"Alright," Jude said. "I'll talk to the faculty about this, and let them know. I don't think they'll have an issue with it, so it shouldn't be an issue. I'll see you in the council meeting?"

He paused for a moment, and then let out a small, awkward laugh.

"I didn't even ask how your matches in the tournament have been going."