let's put the moon to bed;

Gabe twitched in his sleep as William shifted position, the bed was small enough that he could feel even the slightest movement, even if he didn't recognise that consciously. As the boy hissed his name, he turned over and his snoring ceased but didn't wake up. He wasn't an incredibly heavy sleeper but it would take more than that to wake him up properly.

"Mmm?" Gabe murmured, half asleep when he was touched. "What is it Bill?It can't be time to get up already can it?" He tried to sit up, the room spinning around him. He rubbed his eyes, wondering why he couldn't see anything. Then he realised that it was still dark , and so he checked the clock. "It's still the middle of the night."

Gabe was becoming more aware of things now, waking up a little bit. He finally heard what William was saying to him."Now?" He raised an eyebrow, though the boy couldn't see it in the dark. Then he nodded, "okay Bill, go for it. I'm all ears."

Gabe waited patiently, not wanting to interrupt William's train of thought. He took the boy's hand when he felt it and he gave Bill a reassuring squeeze, indicating that it was okay for him to talk about whatever was on his mind. He was not really surprised with the fact that Bill said he was a coward, it was glaring obvious that the boy was scared of next to everything but it was weird that that's what he had woken Gabe up to tell him.

Knowing however, that one thing usually leads to another Gabe kept quiet letting his boyfriend's thoughts flow and to see where this conversation was heading. Gabe felt Bill's other hand and he knew that even talking about this scared the boy, so he'd better not say anything out of line that'd make poor Bill feel worse.

"Do you think it's something to do with being surrounded by so many thoughts?" Gabe asked when the boy paused, "being confused I mean. Maybe having people's emotions and thoughts constantly forced onto you makes it harder for you to figure out your own thoughts and feelings?" Gabe wasn't even sure if what he was saying would help Bill in anyway, but after all the boy had woken him up to talk and hopefully it was through conversation that they'd figure things out.

"So are you thinking that perhaps...if we could figure out what's causing you to be nervous all the time we could help reduce that panicked feeling which in turn would help sort everything else out, because you'd be able keep control?" Gabe was thinking pretty hard at the minute, if there had been any light you would have been able to see the cogs turning in his head.

"William, mi querido, well done for talking about this," Gabe said suddenly, remembering that poor Bill was really nervous right now and that some praise might be wanted. "You're very brave, and hopefully we can figure things out..." Gabe fumbled in the dark, trying to put an arm around William.

"Oh," Gabe apologised, "I'm sorry for interrupting, Bill. I'll be quiet now." He nodded to himself, allowing the boy to continue. It was good that his boyfriend was finally talking about whatever had been eating him up inside but poor Gabriel felt really worried about it.
Not that he could have done anything about it, he had let Bill know he was there for him and that was the best he could have done at the time. Now that the boy was ready to talk, well perhaps he'd be able to help more. He broke his silence only because William had asked him a question, "your pants? Uh they should just be on the floor."

Gabe scratched his nose, he hadn't exactly been thinking about putting them somewhere tidily at the time. "I'll grab them for you," he knew how to navigate his way around his dorm in the dark, it wasn't very big anyways so he wouldn't have got lost, but there were a lot of sharp edges that one could hurt themselves off if they didn't know the way around in the dark. I could turn on the light but... Somehow it didn't feel right, there was something about the moonlight filtering into the room that suited this situation better.

"Wait you've found some clothes?" Gabe asked, realising there'd be no point in him getting Bill's clothes now. That was okay though, he didn't mind the boy wearing his. He was used to it, after all it wasn't a rare occurrence. Gabe relaxed once William took his hand again, it was comforting to know he was there beside him even if he couldn't hear a sound out of him at the moment.

Gabe could see how William's thoughts could become reality for him. Once he started thinking certain things too often he could start to believe them. Gabe thought that perhaps they were things to do with self hatred, he himself didn't think self-hating thoughts very often but on the rare occasion that he did he could see how toxic they were and that if he let them keep going well it would be a downhill slope.

However Gabe wasn't certain that those were the kind of 'things' Bill meant and so he decided to question the boy about it. He just wanted to understand, "what kind of things do you mean, William?" He spoke softly, trying not to make the boy feel uneasy.

Gabe couldn't bear to hear the boy saying such nasty stuff about himself. Of course Gabe could never believe that William was a bad person or that he didn't deserve for people to care for him, but just as he was about to object William kept talking. As if the boy had read what was on his mind, then again he probably had.

Gabe felt a little bit frightened when the boy pulled their heads close. He had never felt really scared around the boy, sure he had been scared of doing the wrong things but he had never felt this kind of chilling feeling. He wasn't so much terrified of William as what the boy believed about himself. He wanted to argue, tell the boy he wasn't a bad person. But he knew William wouldn't listen, not right now.

Biting his lip, Gabe blinked at his boyfriend. This was not the William he knew, this was far from it. He didn't believe the boy would hurt someone again, he clearly really regretted hurting that kid even if he said it felt good. "You can't change what happened in the past...you made an awful mistake but you can't let it eat you away Bill."

Gabe was stumbling over his words, he wasn't comfortable in this situation and he didn't know how to help. "But you can prevent yourself from doing it again, I know you can learn to control yourself." He promised, hoping that William did want to learn to control himself rather than want to do it again, he didn't think the boy was intentionally malicious no matter what William claimed.

Bill was right, Gabe hadn't witnessed the look in William's mother's eye. But he doubted she'd wish her own son was dead, no matter what. "I'm sure she doesn't want you to be dead...no one would want you to be dead, it was an accident..."

'If she doesn't want me dead, I do at least' And with those words, Gabriel's heart felt like it was being ripped to shreds. He'd always been aware that William did not like himself, and that he was upset but he hadn't suspected the boy wanted to die . The thought of it terrified him, what if he followed through on his actions? What if Gabe couldn't do anything to stop him? "Please don't... don't d-die...please stay alive." Gabe didn't want to guilt trip the boy, so he didn't speak the next thoughts aloud, but he sure as hell thought them, I need you.

Gabe moved his arms around the boy, wanting to protect him. But how can I protect him from himself? Gabe couldn't battle Bill's demons, only Bill could do that. "I thought you said you lost control though....you didn't mean to take it so far?" Gabe bit his lip, "it mightn't have been an accident...but surely it was a mistake?" Everyone made mistakes but this was a kind of serious one. However Gabe didn't think he'd ever stop rooting for William no matter how many big mistakes the boy made.

"And well that time was different...she was goading you into it...she deserved it." Gabe scowled at the thought of Max. "She was nasty and had she been able to do the same to you she probably would have." He frowned, "you didn't do her any serious harm anyways, you stopped yourself before you did." He let his words trail off, he was kind of lost on how to help with this one.