Let's kill each other in another world

Imogen

Imogen

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Apr 13, 2018
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She couldn't talk, she couldn't breathe. She'd hit the ground and it felt like all her bones were broken. So she walked away and picked up the ring, clutching it to her chest and crying. She couldn't stop crying, couldn't reign in the tears to speak. She was overwhelmed and weak with emotions and stress. She'd spent the last six years running away from her problems, running away from him, but he had found her and now there was no escape. No escape from his hatred, no escape from the thousands of reasons he had to cast her off, scream at her and despise her, and even then she still loved him.

"AND NOW YOU HATE ME. BUT HERE YOU ARE, TORTURING ME FOR YOUR SICK KICKS!" she snapped angrily as she stood and turned on her heel to face him, his ring still clutched firmly to her heart, in the hand that still proudly wore her own ring, her love for him. Because no matter what he said to her, no matter what he did, she couldn't just turn off her feelings for him, they were too much a part of her.

"But it was never my intention to disappear. My sister attracted the attention of a dangerous stalker. He started leaving creepy gifts on our doorstep. So we packed up and left, leaving not a trace of our previous lives. It. was. not. my. decision." she growled as tearful and tired eyes rose to meet his own. She wanted so badly to just stop fighting, to hug him like she had before, to just be with him as she used to, carefree and loved.

So she did.

She crossed the room in a few strides and there was no earthly strength able to keep her from grabbing his hand and putting the ring back on his finger unless he was willing to shove her, to assault and hurt her. Something she was trusting him not to do, even in his hatred, she was trusting that he loved her enough to not want to hurt her.

"But that doesn't mean a day goes by where I don't think of you. School, extracurriculars, a job I don't need, I took it all so that I don't have to stop. Because when there's nothing left, in those few empty hours between one day and the next. You are all I can think about. Crying until I feel sick, hitting my head against a wall because I lost you, when you were the ONLY thing I was fighting to live for in the first place," she continued as once more her hands came to rest on his chest, every nerve in her body screaming at her to just hug him, because no words could convince him of how she felt.

"......I probably have six years of life left in me," she said suddenly as the hands on his chest moved down and took both his wrists to place his hands on her tiny throat even adjusting his thumbs so he was pressing into her windpipe, though not yet enough to keep her from talking.

"You hate me. I took six years of your life away. Now you can take them back. Kill me, beat me, end me. Do whatever you like. At the end of it you'll get your revenge, and I won't be in pain anymore. We both get what we want, or at least.....something close to it," she stated and fixed him with a complicated sort of gaze. A crazed greif, love mixed with self-loathing, but no doubt, no second-guessing. All the words in the world could not and would not fix this. So instead, she would give him action, she would put her life in his hands, literally, and let him decide where things went from there.

"Is that what it will take....to see you smile again Juno? Because if so I would happily run to death, I just can't bare either of our heartbreaks anymore, and if this is what you want, you can have it," she murmured, barely above a whisper as she brought her free hand up to touch his cheek.
 
Nameless

Nameless

I'm under your bed
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Oct 22, 2015
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This had to be the most stressful moment Juno had been exposed to. Gods he wanted it all to just end. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't take how the two of them are throwing words like knives. Every word hurt, and it was testing his mental strength. He was so close to snapping. The biggest wound he got out of this came when he saw the look on her face when she picked up the ring. Why did he still feel guilty for her? What was she doing to him to make him fall apart? God damn it! Why is everything she saying just making him feel guilty? He was out of sympathy! He was done with it! Why couldn't it just stop! Why would he care about what she was going through! She did this! ALL OF THIS! He wasn't torturing her! She was torturing herself! She's just using him as an excuse, putting the blame on him! None of this was his fault! He wasn't the one who decided he was better off without his only friend in the world! He wasn't the one who dropped everything and ran! How dare she... how dare she do this to him. How dare she pin the blame on him and think she could just get away. She rushed towards him and grabbed his hand. She couldn't do anything to him. She was weak, frail, and if she ever tried, she was going to see just how much she was straining his patience. But all she did was get close to him with her embrace before slipping the ring back on his finger. Did she really think this would win him over? He was fooled once. Never again. Not even with the sob story she was spitting out. He was left with a choice now. His hands were around her neck. He could stop her from ever talking again. All he needed to do was press his thumbs down. Then it'll all finally be over. In his mind he saw it happening. The scenarios that would end her suffering. She'd suffer a moment of pain, grow unconscious, and then she'll peacefully pass as her brain shuts down. Or he could take his time and give her something to be ashamed about. If she was so ashamed of her scars, he would his own. ... And then he'd just stand there. Looking down on her lifeless body. Mangled. The hours would pass and the police would run in, take him in and throw him in a cell where he would rot. It was the only way he saw this going. His hands tightened, but not completely to stop her from breathing. And then he grunted, releasing her. He looked at his shaking hands that he balled into fists and he screamed, bringing his hands down on the counter to his side. "No. No. NO! There's no taking back those six years. And I won't rot in jail for the next six." He slowly glanced towards her. "Killing you... killing you would never make me smile, Marguerite." As he said this, his expression turned to one of weakness. In a moment, he looked like a sick old man. There was no life in his face. All the blood that had risen up to his face was gone now. He looked pale. He swayed where he stood. He turned and pressed his back towards the counter, slowly slipping to the ground. "I can't kill you. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm weak... I never deserved you. Not when I want to hurt you so bad." Juno got misty-eyed as he looked up at the ceiling, his head resting against the side of the counter. "Call the police... I'm a danger to you, Marguerite."
 
Imogen

Imogen

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Apr 13, 2018
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She'd felt his thumbs pressing into her windpipe, not enough to cut her off, just enough to cause everything to tingle. She felt more alive in those moments than she had in any of the last six years without him. If this was how she went, to make her love happy, she would go gleefully into the arms of death and she couldn't help but reach a hand up and poke the corner of his mouth.

"C'mon, smile for me Juno," she murmured, barely above a whisper as her lips jutted out into a soft pout. Deranged couldn't even begin to describe her mindset, and yet in the moment, it felt so natural to do, and even out of the moment, once the reality would set in, she couldn't regret her actions, not so long as they were done for him.

But then his hands fell away. Then he was pounding on the counter, screaming at nothing. All was forgotten as she immediately moved to stand at his side, though at least yet, she had not moved to touch him. To hold him and soothe him like her mind was screaming to do. To do so would be to interrupt him, and she didn't wanna risk that.

"then tell me what it will take. Tell me what I have to do, what I have to sacrafice. I'll do it, without hesitation. All I want.....is to see you smile again, because I love you," she murmured reaching out to touch him only for him to slip away. The sentiment fell from her lips easily. Plenty of friends said they loved each other, there was no way he could know how deep that sentiment lay in her heart. So when he slid to the ground she followed him and sat herself beside him.

"I'm not calling the police, they'd take you away from me. You're finally here with me, I finally have a chance to at least try and make you not hate me, and no goddamned cop is going to ruin that for me, for us Juno," she murmured softly, biting her lip hesitently before reaching over and taking his hand and wrapping it around her shoulders as she closed the distance between their two bodies.

He was still as warm as ever.

"tell me what I can do to make you stop hating me. Tell me what I have to do to fix this. I will do anything I swear," she choked out, her words gaining a quiet desperation and hysterical edge to them. Her head rested against his shoulder and her hand upon his chest. This was where she wanted to be, more than anything. She just wished there was a way she could make him want it too.

"Please don't tell me it's too late, that i've lost you forever?"
 
Nameless

Nameless

I'm under your bed
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Oct 22, 2015
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Juno's mind was fuzzy. He could feel the synapses of his brain tingle as his state of mind became unreadable. What was he doing here? Why couldn't he move, or even resist it when she took his arm and wrap it around herself. Why did his body lean towards her? Nothing was pulling or pushing it in that direction. He couldn't pull away either. It was as if he lost control of his body. The feeling was there. He could clearly feel her cheeks on his shoulder, and the softness of her hands when she draped his arm over her. Juno was silent. What would it take? Honestly, he didn't know. Nothing seemed to make him smile anymore. When she left, he lost his only source of happiness in the world. He's forgotten how to smile. He couldn't even remember what he looked like with one on. "I don't know. I don't know..." He couldn't think of anything. Maybe because there was nothing, or simply, his mind was too muddled to function. Even when she said she'd do anything to appease him, he came up blank. Was there even anything she could do? Turn back time, perhaps? No, no... she'd be insulted if he suggested something so impossible. He wasn't drowsy, but his eyes felt heavy. He closed them and put his hand on the hand that rested on his chest. "This is fine..." he'd say, feeling his heart beating normally again. There was still the lingering pain and lump in his throat, but this was fine. "You're so close to me... yet... I still feel like you're so far... We've drifted..." Juno rested his head against Marguerite's. "Why are we so distant... Have we changed so much...?" Juno had locked himself in his mind. He could see himself and Marguerite there. But as children. Playing. But the images drifted so very far apart. There was a phantom behind both of them, mimicking their movements. But the farther they went from each other, the more out of sync the phantoms were. He could see this much more prominently in his phantom. "Do you think... we can fix this...? Fix us...?"
 
Imogen

Imogen

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Apr 13, 2018
35
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She/Her
He was so close, so soft and warm next to her. She didn't even have to force it this time. When she wrapped his arm around her he had leaned in, when she rested her hand on his chest he had held it in his own. At that moment she knew, they had begun the process, even as they sat there so unsure, they were holding each other, mutually, no screaming or hate, just quiet companionship.

It was a start.

She turned her head to nuzzle into the space between his neck and shoulder when he leaned against her. Her hand turned skin side up as she wrapped her slender fingers around his hand. It was distant, yes, and yet, it was more than she'd ever had in the last six years, more than she'd ever dared dream of having ever again, and his words about her scars still lingered in her mind.

"I haven't changed, not really," she insisted as she looked up at him, intertwining her hand upon his chest with his hand that lay atop it. "We still fight and argue till we collapse on the floor. We're still world-ending drama queens. I mean really, you came to kill me and I offered to let you, what's more dramatic than that?" she asked with a small laugh as she pulled his hand towards her mouth and kissed it gently.

"We've grown up, grown apart, but the former is normal and the latter fixable....we just have to stay together. I still need you as much as I ever have Juno, if not more so. My only prayer, if there is a god out there, is that you can forgive me and love me again one day like you used to, or if that's too much, that one day, you just won't hate me anymore," she confessed quietly as she bit her lip, hard, to keep from crying.

"I still love you, Juno, always have, always will. I'll either fix us or die trying. Because your wrong, you've always deserved me. You've always been beyond me. My own parents despised me for Christ's sake, until the day they died I was nothing but a burden to them. You were the first person to love me, and that day.....when you saw how completely wrecked I was, I just thought that there was no way, no way we could go back to how it used to be.....because now you know, as much as I try and act otherwise, I'm worthless and undeserving of your love," It was getting hard to breathe again, each breath struggling over the lump in her chest and yet, she was warm, happy, safe and protected in the arms of the one she loved, even if he might not ever know just how much he was adored.

"You don't have to forgive me or not be upset with me, but at least tell me that you understand and believe, I didn't leave you out of spite. I left you out of fear of rejection and circumstances beyond my control. But fate brought us back together, and I don't want to let that go to waste," she murmured softly as she curled up next to him and closed her eyes, just letting herself enjoy the warmth and protection of the one she loved, even if only for a fleeting moment.
 
Nameless

Nameless

I'm under your bed
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Oct 22, 2015
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Grown up... grown apart... normal... fixable... So they could be fixable... Was he willing to believe that? Not really. He couldn't be fixed. He knew this. But since she believed, he was willing to try it. The thought of hurting her still lingered in his mind, and he hated it. He had to ask himself, why was he letting her get so close to him again? Her life was in danger whenever he was around. He still hated her deeply. Right now he was just too emotionally spent from his outburst. And her soothing voice... So divine... It calmed him, even when just a few moments ago it was the most aggravating thing he'd hear for the longest time. Could he find it in himself to forgive her? He could easily say that yes, he had forgiven her, but he'd be lying. If there was any hatchet that needed to be buried, he wanted it buried in her chest. And he hated that. He hated the fact that this sweet woman with him was the object of his rage. And yet, he was circling the fire that had set him ablaze in the first place. Why was he readily exposing himself to being burned again? Hearing her reassurance that he deserved her love. It made his chest tighten when he heard her say the she didn't deserve him. "Marguerite... you deserve more than me. I know this. But if I could just be selfish one more time..." Juno stopped himself as he opened his eyes. "I've seen what you're capable of. You made me strive to be better. You were my motivation. Meanwhile I... I just... I was chasing something beyond my reach. Knowing that one day... I'm going to trip and fall, and lose it forever." His hand squeezed hers. It was involuntary. He enjoyed holding her. It brought back so many good memories. Calm and serene. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you, Marguerite... I really am. I was afraid back then too... So afraid that I let you slip through my fingers. I could have talked to you that night... I could have ran to you when you left... I'm just as responsible for all this pain. But I don't know how... how to get rid of this anger... its built up for years and I... I'm afraid to come near you." Juno let go of her hand and pinched her chin so he could draw her gaze towards him. "I'm so afraid to come closer. Because I know I will only hurt you... But... I'd be lying if I said... I didn't still care about you." He didn't give her time to speak. Juno gave her a heartfelt kiss on the lips to make up for the words that he couldn't speak.
 
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Imogen

Imogen

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Apr 13, 2018
35
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She/Her
Marguerite had been quite content, listening and curled up against him. He was warm and soft, he made her sleepy. If he was with her, holding her close hand in hand like this. Maybe sleeping wouldn't be so bad. Maybe she wouldn't have to work herself into an early grave, maybe, if they could just be like this more often, it would help. Not fix things but help things, heal the festering wounds built up over the last half a decade. It was a nice thought at least, sleeping peacefully next to the man she loved.

Then he spoke, and though his words immediately made her want to sush and soothe him, in the end, she was just confused. What could he possibly ask that would make him selfish? He had been tender, kind, and gracious this whole time. In her mind there was nothing he could do that was selfish and yet, he seemed convinced of the idea that he was, and right now, she was too exhausted and perplexed to argue. Offering your life to someone you loved had that effect she supposed.

"But you didn't. We found each other. Whether by accident or fate....here we are. Together. You haven't lost me and I swear to you that so long as you want me here....I won't leave your side ever again," she promised gently looking up at him with a quiet sort of wisdom, innocent and yet so confident in what she believed. She had no intention of leaving his side again, his warmth, his softness, how safe she felt near him, even knowing he wanted to kill her, there was no one else's side she'd rather be by.

When he next spoke, there were so many things she wanted to say. Suggestions, assurances, she'd even take the blame herself, all of it, if it eased his mind. But he just kept talking, and she knew it was intentional, he didn't want her interrupting him, and so she stayed silent. Her hand felt cold when he let go of it, but she hardly had time to mourn it, before it was on her chin, her eyes drifted to his own.

Then he kissed her.

An hour ago she would have freaked out, pushed him away, listed the thousand and one reasons this was a bad idea. But she was long gone over the edge. She was tossing the words 'i love you' around like candy for him, offering her life on a silver platter, half mad with grief and regret. So instead of freaking out, she pushed close as her arms moved up his chest to wrap around his neck, her body settling in next to him and just melding as though they had always belonged like this, side by side, no boundaries, no secrets, just them. She wasn't stupid, she knew this wasn't friend territory.

She just didn't care.

"Juno...?" she murmured softly, carefully when they eventually pulled away. She wasn't sure what to assume with him right now. She well knew her own feelings, but when it came to him, she hardly knew anything anymore.
 
Nameless

Nameless

I'm under your bed
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Oct 22, 2015
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Juno was pushing the boundaries between the two of them with that kiss. He wanted to see if she really loved him after shaking that word around. "I wanted to give you something before you left with your new family. I wanted to surprise you. I didn't get another chance, and if I had known I'd meet you here... I wouldn't have thrown it into the fire when I left home." Juno went back to resting against the counter, his head tilted upwards toward the ceiling. "I kept hearing the girls in my class say that a person's first kiss is special... Since I burned your gift, I hope you'll accept my first kiss instead." With a resigned sigh, Juno closed his eyes. He honestly wasn't thinking about what he was doing anymore. He just followed his gut. He realized that she could see this as him taking advantage of the situation. Maybe it was true. Juno wasn't even sure himself. If only he could read her thoughts. Just for this moment. He wanted to know what she thought of him now. If she didn't despise him, this was a good reason to start. This was definitely worse that walking in on her while she was changing. He was ready for the punishment. He'd deserve this one. He really did. All he could hope for was she understood why he did it. He wasn't good with words, and god help him if he ever tried to convey them.
 
Imogen

Imogen

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Apr 13, 2018
35
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She/Her
Marguerite had to laugh at the irony of the situation. Just today, of all days, he threw whatever present he'd had for her in the fire. But she couldn't mourn the loss too much. That kiss promised a greater future than any trinket ever could, and even if her head was still spinning with the realities of everything, she was happy, it was the first genuine laugh she'd had in six years.

"Never let it be said that fate doesn't have a sense of humor," she murmured good-naturedly as she looked up at him, so many thoughts and questions swirling through her mind. Did this mean he loved her too, was this really just some sort of replacement present, or was this just his way of 'working off agression' in which case she'd need to choke her feelings down and endure, even if it hurt, which admittedly she wasn't super keen on.

"Hey you, don't pull away, I was enjoying snuggling," she protested with a pout of her lips, though a little more sane than her last pout as she made a sort of half effort into pulling him back, but not so much that if he wanted he couldn't just shake her off as she settled her head on his shoulder once more.

"You shouldn't give away your first kiss because you feel guilty about something silly like that, you should give away your first kiss to the person you love," she stated, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Was she testing the waters a bit, yeah maybe, but hey, he had kissed her, as a girl with a vulnerable heart she had every reason to test out the waters between them.

Her hand went and intertwined with his again, aside from her hesitent steps to understand the kiss, she seemed quite content. Intertwining her fingers with his own and just enjoying the soft warmth that was her long lost friend, her soulmate.
 
Nameless

Nameless

I'm under your bed
Ranger
Oct 22, 2015
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A sense of humor? Fate was cruel and sadistic. He knew she meant it as a joke though. But was it really fate that did all this? If so, then when would his suffering end? Probably nowhere in the near future unless some miracle happens, which he didn't count on. It was nice to hear her laugh however. It made the corners of his mouth curl up genuinely. Well, she had her wish. He smiled. As tiny as it was, it was a smile. He wasn't sure if she caught that, but he wasn't going to point it out. When he got back to resting, she protested. Well, if it made her happy, who was Juno to say no to her? He leaned towards her and rested his head on hers. "Knock yourself out," he'd say to her. Her hand intertwined with his again, and he was ready for it. Marguerite would be able to tell that Juno was relaxed. The tension in his grip was no longer there. He was content for the time being. "Trust me. I didn't waste my first kiss." He didn't need to think about that answer. He realized it years ago, and although it slowly turned to resentment, this moment here, the way they were right now... he knew that feeling still held.
 
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