Romi

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A sendoff to Europe without more information didn't give him anything. It could have meant that Seaver was at the bottom of the ocean. It could have meant he was off murdering someone. Or it could have meant that he was actually in Europe on vacation or something.

"Doesn't help much," Angelo said with a wave of his hand. "And for the record, I'm not child services. I'm not going to go digging through your paperwork." He really had no interest. The Rosales's were a mafia family, and they'd have made absolutely sure that someone was in charge, even if it was only on paper.

But, apparently, it was Shay who was in charge now. In charge of the family.

Christ, was she even sixteen yet?

"As a courtesy, because it's off topic, I'm not going to mention to the cops that you're in charge, but I am going to tell them that Klaus and Vito are missing, and that they should be keeping a closer eye on things to watch out for retaliation and power struggles in the aftermath."

Shay really should have expected that much. Angelo would have, back when he was her age.

Angelo somehow managed to sag even deeper into his chair, letting out a sigh.

"I suppose I should be congratulating you for keeping things as under control as they are, considering the police had no idea until now."

 

Sarrain

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"I don't know what else to tell you," Shay said to Angelo. "We didn't kill him. I'll promise you that. One hundred percent, on my honor. The Rosales didn't kill him."

When Angelo told her he had no plans to dig through the paperwork, Shay couldn't help but relax a hint. Good, no one would come around poking and prodding all of them. Poor Caelin, Annie, and Sherry. They didn't need that fucking stress.

"I appreciate that," he said in response to Angelo not telling the police who was in charge. "As for the rest, I figured as much. But things are going to get better, not worse." He said this with complete confidence on the matter.

Shay went quiet, drumming her fingers on the desk and watching Angelo. Feeling sick. Feeling like a fucking kid. A kid that she couldn't be anymore. That she'd never really been.

"Query," he said, voice low to keep from any prying sibling ears. "Who sees all those... official police records? You know. Like reports. It's just the police, yeah? Not public knowledge ever?"

 
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Romi

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Angelo made a little hmmm at the 'we didn't kill him'. That more or less guaranteed he was dead, just not by Rosales's hands. A rival gang or an accident, but almost definitely dead.

The word query sounded unnatural. Like a robot had taken Shay's place and was trying to figure things out. Like she was trying to act like an adult, even.

"Relevant police, and only relevant police," Angelo said, dropping his volume a level in response to Shay's own. "Cops get fired over digging around in police records for things that aren't related to their own cases. What brings this up?"

There was obviously a reason. A big reason. The only question was whether or not Shay would tell him, or if she'd just dismiss it as another you don't need to know.

 

Sarrain

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Shay stared at his hands. He hated everything about this. He hated Klaus and Vito for things they couldn't control. Hated Nick for taking choices away. And even hated his original parents for dying. The world was an unfair place, and there was no reason to keep secrets that gained you nothing.

"The Butcher killed Ted. The Butcher killed me. And now the Butcher is dead. I did not kill him, nor did this gang."

There, it was all out there. Sure, it left a lot of questions. Shay didn't want just to go off answering them because he might have lost his lunch if he did.

 
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Romi

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Angelo was not expecting to find out who had killed Shay. Really, he didn't expect that Shay would have ever brought it up. It was the sort of thing that everyone involved considered dead and buried.

Only then it wasn't. Only then it was simply laid out on the table.

The Butcher killed Ted. The Butcher had killed her.

Angelo's face went pale.

"Jesus," Angelo said under his breath, taking a moment to recover. "The Butcher?"

He wasn't on the case--not at all--but even he had a general idea of what sort of things the Butcher did. The messes he left. Everyone knew.

Angelo was torn very hard in two very different directions. He wanted to comfort Shay. He wanted to do his job. And the two things ran in very, very different ways.

Comforting won out.

"Jesus," Angelo said again. "Are you doing alright?" And now she'd lost Klaus, too.

 

Sarrain

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Shay nodded, glad when Angelo didn't try to touch him. His skin felt hot and raw. Sick. Bile in the throat. Struggling not to cry or come off like some fucking baby. Shay had to be strong now. Shay had to be the head. The one people could look to. He couldn't be weak.

"Fine," he said, a clear lie by the tension in his tone. "I just want it out there. The Butcher. He died, I guess that reached the papers or something. I know it was common knowledge. He died, but he was revived as Nick Morgan."

There. He had said it. It was out there. There was a freedom that came with it, so why did his chest still feel so tight? Waiting with bated breath on Angelo's next move. Waiting to feel dirty again, as Shay so often did now.

"I... Well, I'm not sorry I didn't mention it sooner. I --" Shay paused, not sure what to say, where to go. Strong. Had to be strong. "I just wanted it all out there now. I don't want to keep any more secrets that I don't have to."

 
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Romi

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Angelo knew a lie when he saw one, and that was a bold faced lie and then some. Shay wasn't fine. Shay was upset.

"You don't have to apologize," Angelo said, letting his brain slide into victim mode rather than junior mob boss mode. Less guarded. More careful. "You told me in your own time. You could have kept it to yourself forever, but you didn't, and that will help a lot of people get closure that they wouldn't have gotten otherwise. It's a good thing, Shay."

His instinct was to hug her, but that instinct was a bad one. Hugging victims was awkward, painful business. A lot of the time--most even--people tended to recoil. He was friendly with Shay, but they weren't close, not enough to make a hug acceptable or okay.

"I shouldn't have pushed you so much when you were at the station, Shay. I was just worried about someone--especially you--getting hurt."

 

Sarrain

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Behind all the hurt, all that fake adulthood, Shay saw Angelo. Saw him and still struggled to understand. Adults were too complex. And was she? Christ...

Shay took off the belly button ring and returned to her regular gender, reaching up and scrubbing at her eyes to get them to stop fucking burning with the threat or tears.

"No, you shouldn't have," she agreed. "But, it taught me something. Klaus wanted to act like we could be friends with you. But we can't. Any kindness I give you, you'll use against me -- against us. That's fine. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's your job. We can't trust each other."

That said, Shay reclined, tired and too pale. Not even enough energy to shed tears on the idea of losing an adult figure. That was fine. She'd lost all the others, too.

"I always wondered what it would have been like if you adopted me."

 

Romi

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Angelo wanted to say no. He wanted to say that she was wrong. But it was true, honestly. There was always going to be space between them. It was always going to be hard. Angelo was police. He couldn't put something in front of his job. Couldn't promise to keep secrets.

"You could still come," Angelo said simply. Even if he'd never made an offer, things could still be different. He'd broken away from the life Shay was leading, and she could do. "You could still pull away, could still choose a different life. Just because Klaus is gone doesn't mean you have to fill their shoes. It doesn't mean the Rosales gang still has to keep going. It could just be the Rosales family."

Things could be different, if Shay wanted.

 

Sarrain

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For a moment, Shay actually thought Angelo was saying he could adopt her. She stopped and stared until his true meaning caught up to her. She smiled tightly.

"I could... but not everyone could. They grew up on this protection," she answered, inclining her head toward the office door to signify her siblings. "Now there's blood on their names, even if they don't want it. Money on their heads to all those our dads screwed over. I can't step down. That just means someone else would have to do it and I won't leave them. I don't do that to anyone."

They were sitting here, being open and honest. For once, Shay didn't feel on uneven ground with Angelo, like anything she said could and would be used against her. This had her thinking about all those past plans. The things she had wanted, the silent rage left in her heart.

"Things will be different. I'm not Klaus and not Vito. I don't play by rules others set out." Shay stood abruptly and crossed the room, put distance between them.

"Fuck! Why didn't you? Huh? Why didn't you offer? Why didn't you want me?"

The easiest answer and the one Shay knew to be most likely was Angelo wasn't ready. Angelo didn't want a kid. That was all fine, but Angelo was the only responsible adult she could name off the top of her head, and she was angry, upset, and hurt and he was the only one here.

 
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